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SI (24F) and my mother (54F) currently live alone in the house where our family lived since 2000. My father left us in 2016—he packed all his things and disappeared without a word. He never contacted us, never asked about us, never sent money. It was a relief to finally be free of him.
Before that, life was miserable. My father was mentally abusive to me and my sister and physically abusive to my mother. He berated us in public, lied about us to others, and manipulated people to think we were ungrateful. He abandoned us for weeks at a time, leaving no money for school or food. My mother had to quit her job as a teacher due to the stress, and we often had no income. He would refuse to give us money unless we begged or agreed to humiliating terms—once we agreed to just ₹10,000/month for the three of us, and even then he didn’t pay.
Despite everything, when I was a teenager, I still called him and begged him to come back. I thought he cared. I was wrong.
Eventually, he left. Fully. Took everything with him, and even his mother supported him saying, *“They’re just daughters, no point staying. If there was a son, maybe it was worth it.”*
We somehow survived with help from my grandfather (nana). Life was tough but peaceful without him.
Fast forward to now—he wants to come back. Apparently, the woman he was living with (and her kids) kicked him out. This all started because we needed his Aadhar card for my sister’s marriage hall booking. He refused. Then he called the manager and played the victim—crying about how we don’t treat him like a father. We have a recording of this, along with another recording where he *threatens to break our house door down*. His exact words were, *“If doors aren’t opened, doors can be broken. And you know what happens when I get angry.”*
This is not an empty threat. He has broken the door before—once when we locked him out, he smashed the wooden door just to get in. We were terrified.
Now he’s trying to manipulate and threaten my grandfather, using random people to convince him we should let him back. My grandfather is standing strong, saying, “We can only give you a divorce.” But even he is scared of my father’s threats.
Our house is in my mother’s name. Legally, he has no right to come in. But that doesn’t stop him from threatening us or trying to force his way in. My mother is scared to go to court because of the trauma and how poorly women are treated there. The legal system has been incredibly unkind to her, and our previous lawyers have been useless.
I’m working now and financially independent. I want to protect my mother and myself. I want to ensure this man never enters our lives again. We don’t care about the divorce anymore—but I’m terrified he’ll break in or hurt us.
We have:
* Voice recordings of his threats
* My grandfather as a witness (but he is a heart patient dont want him involved)
* A history of abuse (though no documented proof, just lived experience)
* we have proofs that there has been no financial support from his end since the last 10 years.**How do I make sure he can never return to this house? What legal or protective measures can I take to ensure our safety, especially if my mother is too scared to go to court?**
Please help. Any guidance would be appreciated.
**TL;DR:**
My abusive father who left us in 2016 is now threatening to break into our house and force his way back after being gone for years. We have voice recordings of his threats. He was violent and mentally abusive to me (24F), my sister, and our mother (54F) for years. He left us with no support, and now wants to come back because the woman he was living with has left him. I want to protect my mother and myself and ensure he never comes back. What can I legally do to ensure our safety? -
DNot much to think about. Approach the police. Claim that he’s abusive and a threat to your and your family’s life. If push comes to shove, bribe the cops to keep him locked up for a couple days with special treatment. Should do the job
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SGet FIR done. If you are in Bangalore st broseph could help. Police will want just a complaint but fir will help you keep them on their toes. If not in bangalore get some lawyers help for the FIR, it should be a routine thing for them.
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PFile a police complaint and seek protection from them. The complaint against him under Domestic Violence Act can also be filed, but him not living with you for many years may give him an advantage to dismiss the case.
Your mother can file for divorce on the grounds of cruelty and put a full stop for his antics. [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
For detailed advice you can consult us [https://g.co/kgs/QkmgrxF](https://g.co/kgs/QkmgrxF)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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DHi. I’m a Delhi based lawyer, specialising in family matters. As you have been rightly advised, please file a police complaint against him. Don’t think there will be an issue in registration of FIR, considered the facts of the matter. If you do nothing, he will keep victimise you all, knowing well you can’t do anything against him. Such men/husbands don’t learn till someone shocks their senses, so the first step is what’s been stated above. In addition to that, you must file a DV petition against him, and your mother will be absolutely fine if she’s represented well, as the law is completely in her favour.
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SHi. Thanks for your advice. I tried suggesting this but my nana is very weak hearted. He gets scared at the mention of police. If something happens further i will try to do this myself. Me and my mother are not very outgoing people and due to past trauma of having to explain our plight to hundreds of strangers again and again and again, we just want to avoid it altogether.
And it is taking a big toll on our mental health.
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