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UHey everyone,
I (30M) married my partner (31F) in early 2024 after being in a long-distance relationship since 2020. Our relationship had always been toxic, but she blamed it on past trauma and consistently portrayed herself as the victim, no matter the situation. I tried to be patient and supportive, even if it meant sacrificing my own well-being.
However, after marriage, things got worse. Her behavior became emotionally and verbally abusive, and I found myself stuck in a constant cycle of mental torture. Some truly awful things have been said and done from her end, but I always tried to stay calm to avoid further escalation. Recently, she admitted to having bipolar disorder (undiagnosed) and that she has known about it for years.
We have been living overseas since our marriage in India, but now, due to the ongoing abuse (for which I have some audio recordings as proof), I want to end this relationship—for both our sakes. She can return to India and resume her previous job. However, she and her parents are quite aggressive, and I fear that this may not end peacefully.
I was initially hoping for a mutual and amicable separation, but in case things go south, I’d appreciate legal advice on:
1. **Divorce Process** – What are my options for filing for divorce while living abroad?
2. **Legal Protection** – Given her aggressive nature and history of abuse, is there anything I should do in advance to protect myself from false allegations?
3. **Financial & Legal Liabilities** – Are there any legal obligations I should be aware of (e.g., alimony, maintenance) since we have only been married for a few months?Any guidance or insights would be really helpful. Thanks in advance!
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MI am very much in a similar situation.
LDR since 2020
got married in early 2024
Shes emotionally unstable and has pretty quick flare-ups and in the end, portrays herself as victim. We went to therapist. She advised flower bach meds for her.
Idk where this relationship will end. keeping hopes alive. -
DOh good Lord . I will tell you what I have to face being an NRI.
I was married for less than a year (3 moths) to a mental toxic narcissist etc etc girl. If they don’t file you go ahead and file in your hometown.I explored all options of filing the case . From embassy to video conferencing to hiring or changing upto 3 lawyers.
Here what I understood for my 7 year long ordeal.
1) hire an extremely good lawyer. Be ready to spend any amount of money. Try to
2) please forget about her awful behaviors, her abuses whether physical or mental etc etc. even if you have proof you can do anything. Family Courts are heavily biased towards girls .
3) Whether you speak to her lawyer or her record each call and maintain proper call log. If you can then make sure all communication happens through your lawyer.
4) in case if legal case if filed then cooperate with police. They will call you from abroad to report to police station in order to help in investigation. Be polite even if they threaten. Fix a date and fly down and appear in Police station. Some bribery will happen. IF YOU DONT FLY and meet police your passport can be cancelled and lookout notice will be issued so comply fully and you won’t be arrested and allowed to travel back with full freedom.
5) forget your misery: her medical / mental health/ abuses nothing will be taken in account by court. Although she can file a lot of things.
It took me 7 years of legal back and forth and coaxing her to give me mutual divorce with a lump sum payment.
6) have a monetary figure in mind and send that offer to her lawyer through yours.
7) for abroad cases make sure you inform your embassy about the situation . Maintain all paperwork
You can file the case without informing her and then move to a different location or vacate the house. Whichever country you are Inform your local police to expect domestic abuse calls .
Further Let the legal notice reach to her family in India . Your lawyer should handle that.
Remember once you have filed case and sent legal notice via WhatsApp to her and a formal court notice to her family via registered post any case filed after this shall not have merit as it will be filed in retaliation and courts take that in account.
In case if she chooses not to fight the case then you can get a one sided divorce. Although this can be contested later on.
If you want I can share my divorce lawyer’s details .
Good luck
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BAs a lawyer i will tell you this- if you can get peace by paying her pension for the rest of her life and give your property if you have more than one than go ahead. If not than the pain ans burden you gonna suffer for the rest of your life is worse considering the many cases i handled of guys. I recommend to if possible try not to start divorce proceedings. If money is no issue than go ahead
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P1. Coax her to get a medical examination done without showing your negative emotions. You will have medical report as a strong proof to prove your claims. Keep all the recordings and messages safe.
2. You can ask her if she wants to end the marriage, if she says yes, go ahead with the Mutual Consent Divorce which is beneficial for both of you. [https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/](https://divorcebylaw.com/mutual-divorce-lawyer-in-bengaluru/) This communication has to be done very carefully. If you have a common friend with whom she is comfortable can be requested to check her opinion about working on the marriage or ending the marriage or what is her plan.
3. If she isn’t willing to end the marriage and also not willing to treat herself to work on making the marriage to work, then file for a Contested Divorce on the grounds of cruelty. [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
4. Paying alimony and/or maintenance is part of any divorce proceeding. This depends on the parties, if your wife is not willing to take any money from you may not have to pay anything. If she makes an application for maintenance or alimony, you also have your rights to show evidence and argue on your capabilities and non-capabilities to do so. Only thing is that you need to hire an efficient and experienced lawyer who exclusively practices family law. [https://divorcebylaw.com/maintenance/](https://divorcebylaw.com/maintenance/)
5. For further clarification and guidance consult us [https://g.co/kgs/eBFWUbC](https://g.co/kgs/eBFWUbC)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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