- This topic has 17 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
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UHi everyone I am 26M and have been in a relationship with a girl for past 8 years. It is a long distance relationship and she stays in my hometown.
In Jan 2025 my girlfriend finally decided to reveal about our relationship to our parents. She didn’t mention my name as she first just wanted to see the reaction of her family members. She just revealed she loves a boy and wants to marry him.
Now the drama started her father who is a property dealer started shouting and telling her it will ruin his so called “ijjat” and I will either kill myself or you and your boyfriend. He did a lot of drama the first night.
Few days later she again tried to speak to her father, this time he asked her phone started checking the chats( she had deleted all the chats). He kept asking what is the name of the boy , I will kill him and you. Then he says okay you people live together, I will go and die. He picked up the acid bottle and was about to drink but his son stopped him from drinking.
Now a few things about my girlfriend, she is the elder one and have 2 siblings( a brother and a sister). Her brother, sister and even her mother don’t have that much problem but they are scared to even talk about it to her father. She says they will never talk about this to my father, whatsoever happens they will just feel me but never speak about it.
Now the problem is she is unemployed and stays with her parents and she is scared her father might really do something to himself recalling the acid incident and on other hand she says she will die of suicide but never marry someone else.
I have been love with this girl for past 8 years and it’s very tough for either of one to leave us but her father is the main villian.
She still haven’t revealed my name to her father as my family stays a few 200 metres away from the girls family and we feel her father might harm my family members.I know various rights about women as no one can forcefully marry anyone but is their a law or can we take help of police if we have to rescue the girl from her house as if we elope then her father might file various cases like kidnapping n so on me and my family and I want my family to stay out of it as they are not at all opposing and they are simple people.
A bit about me I am a software engineer at Google earning 55-60 lakh per annum and our family reside in Bihar.
Please help me here if police can help her rescuing from her house. We don’t care the after consequences, I just want her to be out safe and sound.
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UIf you’re well off, you can shift your family out of Bihar like we did. Anyways you should consider going to the police and rescue her. It seems like she is a hostage.
Else, you can go to a pandit and tell everything about you and let him go to the girl’s parents, make it seem like an arrange marriage.
I’m concerned as everything will take place in “Bihar” which I’ve experienced is not a suitable place for love marriage or a good living standard.
Last resort, you’ll have to elope with her and your family members (last option if everything else fails) -
UI never get why our country hates to see people happy aren’t we told to love even our enemies? Why people make such a big deal about love marriage.
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UThats why it’s advisable for women especially to learn, earn and work and get independent.
At least they can have a standing of their own.
People make a big deal about marriage because of societal norms only.
Plus, in this case, I don’t know why but children know how their parents would react to a certain situation.
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EMy friend got married recently to the girl he loved, in their case they have faced a very similar situation, just that instead of acid there was a licensed gun involved.
It is very important to keep you cool and play the waiting game in this case. Parents tend to cool down with time. Also, considering your stellar profile and earning capability this transition might even be faster.
I can only advise based on my experiences, as I dont know anyone in this dynamic personally to ascertain how they might react.
As far as it comes to law, people have already provided good responses. But once you go the legal route understand that you might permanently close some important doors.
All the very best to both of you, hope both of you prevail over this! Tough situation to be in.
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HAs long as you both are of legal age, you can get married to whoever you want. There is nothing the father can do to stop it. And I seriously doubt he will take his own life. He is just putting emotional pressure, and it’s all just drama. Elope, get married, and ask the girl to upload pictures online. The first thing the police will check if the case is filed by the father is social media, as it is a very common thing for girls to elope with their boyfriends when families don’t agree.
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UYou both are from upper caste, so there will be problems but I think it’s manageable, you should try with all that you and your gf can.
Eloping is an option but I personally don’t support it, you both should try to convince your parents, if they don’t, then reject every rishta they bring to you guys. Don’t surrender to their blackmail tactics. -
UShe should probably tell you’re from a different religion, let the drama build for two days, then say your caste and that you’re from same religion. Things might get better
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SIf the girl won’t betray and back off in any situation then court marriage is the first thing you two should do.
I signed the court marriage of my friend the case was similar.
It requires only 2 witnesses to sign it off. Lawyer and marriage registration costs around ₹10k.My friend is SC her gf is Brahmin. Girl’s father is against marriage, but I know girl from 8-9 years she’s reliable.
But both are working, guy in a Govt. Bank and girl in a Pvt. School. Both in 30s.Don’t worry much, you’ve got good finances to take care of it all, everything else becomes secondary once the money talks.
Best Wishes
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Uif you fear her father will harm your family then when will you meet her family? When will they meet yours?
he doesn’t even know your name, ask your gf to reveal everything, your name, CTC, etc. you are well off. Arrange a meeting. you meet her family. then they can really know you. if they like you all the problem will be solved.
Right now, Her father has imagined things, probably all the Worst case scenarios. break their imagination as soon as possible. Reason: how we think is how we feel. how we feel is how we think. but there is catch. thoughts come and go but emotions pile up. So if you think some negativity and you feel negativity, if you repeat this process for some time, then your emotions take control of your thoughts. now, you feel negativity first and then negative thoughts automatically follows. then hate becomes life long. that’s why people who wait for years for parents to accept their partner, their parents may end up getting them married to each other but that hates never goes away. Keep this from happening.
Act fast, tell your gf to manipulate her family (only other option is they hate her for life so we don’t want that). her father is being lunatic, tell her to show more tantrum than him. first, reveal your details. arrange meeting as soon as possible. if they don’t like you then show lunatic behavior. tell her to use threats like me mar jaungi, me kisi aur se shadi nahi karugi bhale hi kuvari mar jau, agar apne mujhe ya mere bf ko kuch kiya to apko fansi ki saja me dilvaungi, apko meri khushi ki nahi padi bas apni ijjat ki padi he, are shadi me log ayege khana khake bakwas karke chale jayege, ijjat hava hava me hoti he us chij ke liye aap apni beti ki puri jindagi dav pe laga denge, aap apni beti se pyar karte he ya nahi? aap mujhe khush dekhna chahte he ya nhi?
i think you got the idea. she must be vocal, assertive, dominant.
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