- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
UIts been almost 14 years now since I and My Mother are facing systemic mental and physical abuse from my father.
We were a humble family of 4 (Me Parents and 8 yrs younger sister). My father was out of job for 2 whole years when I was 12 and I saw my mother supporting our family by selling dresses & women accessories as a Hawker. There were times when she worked as a house maid for my tuition teacher to pay fees. I myself did everything to not pressure my family with my expectations and tried to live within my means while having no expectations for myself.
My dad was interviewing and I always went with him to interviews to support him. Before long when I turned 14 he got a job but in a different city. We were happy, all of us got new clothes that day went out to restaurant that we couldn’t do in last 2 3 years.
In 3 months I noticed a change in his behaviour towards us. He was spending more and more time alone smoking. My mother got the wind of him having an affair with a woman 14 years younger than him (Dad was 43). She confronted her in her office and made sure she knew my dad was married with 2 kids.
That evening my Dad beat up my mom so bad. Almost everyone got to know this in my flat but no one did anything. I was tending to her wounds, her thigh was swollen black she couldn’t move her back even. The very next day my Dad declared to mom that she needs to accept his mistress and she needs to come to his hometown to sign a few papers to legalise this arrangement. My mom refused and he again assaulted her and my mom fearing her safety left home when we were sleeping.
Next morning Dad made us come with him to his hometown (his brother’s house) where we saw the women (his mistress) waiting already. I heard she was staying there for days. Dad was threatening divorce but my mom didn’t want to let her kids go so she agreed to the arrangement where she Co Signed to ‘Caretaker Agreement’ calling out that woman as my dad’s caretaker saying my Dad is in mental apathy caused by my Mom’s erratic behaviour in their marriage. Poor soul did nothing wrong to deserve this but I and my sister were young and without any support so we agreed to everything.
We came back home (Dad Mom and Kids) and upon reaching Dad immediately left for his work city while making us pack for his new beginning with his new wife. Everyone watched, we were a subject of ridicule.
This continued for two years where he used to visit us just every other weekend and gave only 100 Rs for our support excluding the basic educational expenses he did for me and sis. A few good folks in our society offered us food every now and then.
I passed my 10th and then 12th I had good enough grades to get admitted in a decent engineering clg but settled to stay close to my mom and sis and studied in local college. Meanwhile Dad shifted back home since he started his own business but lacked technical skills to keep it running. Any paperwork or machine failures that occurred I was there to support him (thinking this way he might leave the woman and come back). I graduated and got a job in the same city and all this time his business was not running and he was sitting idle for 2-3 years I supported the living expenses of the family. All this time I was also preparing for MBA Entrance which I managed to crack and got admission in 2020.
Bear in mind the mental and physical torture was still at place every other month. For My Mom and my Sister (he wouldn’t touch me cuz I was earning). I managed to stay at home and got my MBA degree (thanks to Covid). I bore almost all of the expenses of my MBA (except the initial 4 Lakhs he gave which is nothing for a top bschool).
Its been 3 years since I graduated and have a stable job and now he is borderline threatening to cut us off his will and cut ties with everyone if I do not promise to join and support his business. This I agreed to because he was letting my mother be in peace with him while I worked in a different city.
My mom who has now developed health issues he pays no heed to it and wouldn’t let her visit our Nana where she can get herself treated because he needs warm food at the table every night and couldn’t stand to eat tiffin food for more than 3 days.
I am planning to sue him for half his property for all the abuses he has caused to us for last 13 years. I am a small person who has just started working with no exposure to legal process. I dont even know if I have a valid case. I desperately need some guidance and support of any women rights activist to take things forward from here.
I have developed a serious case of insomnia over last two years thinking about finally acting on what I wanted to do for so long. Please help me.
-
SSorry for all that you have gone through. I can’t guide much, but let me try to give you a framework how you can approach this:
Under post-2024 Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita framework and allied laws, you have multiple legal pathways to address this multi-decade abuse while protecting your mother and sister.
Here’s your action plan:
1. Immediate Protective Measures
File Domestic Incident Report
Your mother can immediately seek protection under Section 352 BNSS (equivalent to PWDVA 2005):
Submit Form A to the Protection Officer
Request emergency protection order under Section 354(1)
Available remedy: Restraining orders against abuse, exclusive residence rights
Digital Evidence Protocol
Preserve all evidence per BSA §61:
Medical records of injuries (scan & timestamp)
SMS/WhatsApp threats (use hash-locked storage)
Witness affidavits from neighbors (notarized)
2. Financial Redress Mechanisms
Claim Retrospective Maintenance
Under amended Section 125 CrPC (now BNSS Schedule 144):
File for 14 years’ backdated maintenance
Entitlement: 50% of father’s peak income (₹50L estimated liability or more, you decide )
Challenge Fraudulent Documents
The “Caretaker Agreement” can be nullified through:
Section 340 BNSS proceedings for document forgery
NCRB’s Sankalan portal cross-check of registry records
3. Property Rights Strategy
Invoke Benami Transaction Act
The mistress’s property claims can be contested via:
Section 56(3) BSA – Reverse burden of proof
Mandatory e-filing through MHA’s Sankalan portal
Secure Inheritance Rights
Despite testamentary threats:
Hindu Succession Act 1956 Section 30 savings apply
File anticipatory injunction under Order 39 Rule 1 CPC
4. Support Systems
Free Legal Aid
Access through:
→ Delhi SLSA Helpline: 1516 (24/7 response)
→ NALSA’s e-Seva Portal: nalsa.gov.in
Document requirement: Income affidavit + domestic incident report
Women’s Shelter Network
Immediate safe housing available at:
→ Gauravi Crisis Centre (ActionAid): 075666 66660
→ Apnalaya FCC: 022-2414 326269
5. Health Interventions
Trauma Counseling
Avail free services under Ayushman Bharat Scheme:
→ RAHI Foundation: 011-2623 8466
→ NCW Panel Psychiatrists
Medical Documentation
Get your mother’s condition certified via:
→ CGHS-approved hospitals for legal validity
Next Steps:
Visit nearest DLSA office with ID proofs & incident diary
File Zero-FIR at any police station per BNSS §173
Connect with Majlis Legal Centre (Flavia Agnes team): 022-2287 6237
The law recognizes emotional abuse as violence – your 14-year endurance creates strong evidentiary presumption under BNS §85.
Please note, you don’t need to do all these, choose what all battles you want to fight and what not to fight. More power to you, your mom and your sister. Stay strong 💪
-
-
-
-
P1. Whatever papers your mother signed, is invalid in law means to say it cannot be produced in any court as an evidence for her submission to his atrocities. It is an void agreement made by him, which she signed in duress. Don’t bother about that paper.
2. Your mother can file a domestic violence case seeking various remedies. Having a paramour itself is a kind of domestic violence. Read through this to get more knowledge on this [https://divorcebylaw.com/domestic-violence-lawyer-in-bangalore-india/](https://divorcebylaw.com/domestic-violence-lawyer-in-bangalore-india/)
3. You do not get involved in his business, if you don’t want to. If he insists, ask him to make you a partner where you will also be getting your share in the revenue. You can contact a CA to do this change in the business documents. Even if you do not want to be his partner, ask for remuneration for any work that he is asking you to do.
4. Concentrate on your career path and set some goals for yourself. Don’t let these things affect your life. Seek counsellor’s help to cope with the situation. Help your mother to fight the case, but don’t let it take away your peace.
For anymore clarification on legal part feel free to contact us [https://g.co/kgs/eBFWUbC](https://g.co/kgs/eBFWUbC)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
-
-
