- This topic has 55 replies, 32 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 4 months ago by
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UMe and my boyfriend have decided to elope. He is a Christian and I am Hindu. My family is very strict and conservative they will never let me marry a boy from some other religion. this is why we decided to elope and get married. We are planning on getting married this year October or November, but the only problem is that we can’t let my family find out that we are going to run away and get married because they will try to harm my boyfriend.
The only problem that we are facing is that under SMA, my family would get a notice of 30 days so they will obviously find out that I am going to get married to my boyfriend.
Which would obviously depo some serious drama. I on top of that my family has told me that if I try to run away or do anything like that, they will force me to get married to someone else.
I need help. How can I get married to my boyfriend as SMA is clearly not an option.
I really need some advice. -
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UThe offended Hindus downvoting you here so just wanted to say don’t worry about this part, converting is a big deal and not as simple as inter-religion marriage. I wish the two of you the best! I hope at least one of you is earning well so you can get by and also hire a lawyer if needed, try your best to get high paying jobs, both of you.
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SI would suggest she should convert to christianity then be related to family due to her religion which is making them conservative and dangerous once she converts they will disown and she can live peacefully. A person should live for love and not religion.
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UIf a person should live for love and not religion, then why you’re “suggesting” her to convert? And what about the love her parents gave her to bring her up? Shouldn’t she not be disowning that love by leaving her religion for her 2 day old bf.
Use your logic before vomiting yr hypocrisy.
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SThen on what basis you suggested ghar wapsi of a christian learn to respect other religion before 🤮 anything that makes you feel superior. After marriage wife belongs to husband and not parents so she should do what makes him happy not unhappy. If her inlaws and her husband dont want then how can she force ghar wapsi or whatever he also has his choice.
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Vlook for instant marriage services. your family won’t know.
then make babies, grandparents will be happy to see babies & forget everything past.
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UGive the notice in his parish and get married there. A temple marriage is the other option. You could do both too. Get it registered once married.
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UPlenty of people go through church/ temple/ etc marriage in interfaith alliances but do not always end up following spouse’s religion.
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ULawyer here . The notice is not sent to your house . It is pasted on a clipboard in the marriage registrar office . Your family won’t come to know unless they are actively looking at that particular clipboard . Plus you’re an adult . Even your parents can force it against your will . You will receive police protection ; If you are from Mumbai then do contact me for your marriage requirement.
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UFirst thing to do when eloping is that you go to the nearest Police Station and inform them that you are leaving your house by your own decision and you don’t want to stay there anymore.
Secondly, the notice is NOT sent to your house. It is merely pasted on the clipboard.
Last, but not the least, give this eloping marriage stuff a good thinking session. Calculate your life ahead, your finances, residence, job, etc.
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Uif he really loves you then ask him to convert , im saying this cuz you told your family is more conservative
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SHe should convert if he wants to live with his conservative wife family and want to be jamai of the house. And need property or something in return
But she should convert if she wants to live with the boy and liberal loving family , totally absurd for a husband to convert for wife when she comes to stay with him
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UIt will be easier if the boy becomes hindu for you. I mean I am sure his fore fathers were hindus. So nothing new for him. And you could also see if you can trust that dude. Moreover, your parents won’t object to that. So it will be a happy happy for everyone.
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UWhat do you mean? I’m making it easy for the girl. And no one needs to be converted to Hinduism yk. It’s a way of life. In Christianity you need to get baptised and converted.
Think about the parents of the girl too. She would be lakshmi to some mom and dad. Why kill their happiness . The boy should be the man here.
I would have said the same thing if the guy was hindu and girl christian.
Guys need to have balls bro. He has to keep her happy the whole life. Coz once they run away she is on her own as her family is already lost. Start thinking about families instead of arguing here for Christ sake. Start treating women as women. In every religion. -
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ULooking at your other comments all I’d say is, if the partner feels that strongly about this lady maybe he should abandon is faith adopt her’s back like his ancestors and marry her openly like a man and not put ideas of eloping in her head and potentially destroy multiple lives. It’s so easy just ask him to reject the cross
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SWould you say the same if the girl was muslim and boy a hindu , will guy convert to girl religion as per logic.
Christian faith is strong rarely it would happen someone will leave their faith for just a girl it now all depends on the guy or girl how crazy their love is i am telling u guy has a threat to his life and if he convert he loses all his support from family and friends better end this relation then be at nowhere , either girl can convert after sometime or continue with her own religion.
Bro dont jump in to past and ancestor thing talk about current and future , its of no concern what religion ancestor had what they ate and wore times change and we adapt , we are in secular country you can follow any religion no one will go back in time and leave car and start riding bullockcart as their ancestors. Living in past is a sign of backwardnes.
I know some hate minority thats why they went after christmas celebration but we dont care we only live peacefully so if someone wanna join after marriage its perfectly fine. Why such a big fuss about hindu converting i am totally ok if a guy dont wanna be christian and want to become hindu that will be his choice
So finally we must respect whatever decision they take hindu or Christian it all depends on their choice . We are still a democracy hardliners can only comment let them live with love 💕 if they cant be compatible most likely it would lead to divorce as such in love marriage
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UHindu faith is strong, very rarely it happens someone will leave it for a guy , also as far as support is concerned, this lady will be dead to her family the moment she elops, not sure how and why you so causally over look that, I think in your book the girls suport circle doesn’t matter because a woman is supposed to roll over for her husband. To that all I will say is I hope you never have daughters.
As far as backwardness is concerned talking about things like religion and conversions is true backward thinking. It’s really not about the religion here man, it’s about the incorrect decision to elope.
Also it’s funny how you have 0 qualms about disrespecting other faiths brother, you really need to build up some tolerance. Peace out.
To OP I will say, if it ever comes to convert or be alone you really need to make a call if this dude is actually your special or just a predator.
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SSince for you your faith is only strong and you can mock others for their religious beliefs is not ok.
Being considered dead and killing someone for honor killing is not okay they are adults they can live on their own may be after kids parents will reconcile if the guy is good.
All my friends are hindu i have gone to temples but its the religious drama i respect hindu dharma but i never see any respect coming from bhakts they call us ricebbags I don’t know for what. Even u seem to go to ancestors and disrespect them for conversion which happened thousand years ago. You should learn to respect bible your religious intolerance seem to give u freedome to disrespect others beliefs
Finally i have a daughter dont wish harm on her i warn you. I dont know how u treat women in your house but dont judge others life . We respect women even if she elopes we will respect her wish if she is safe with him for future.
I am not intolerant i respect all and secular view . I dont have issue with any one. But day day by people like u are atking our religious post like this year on christmas but we christian never troll you so why target a minority.
Finally to convert is a individual choice not something for you and me to decide you are trespassing others rights and liberties and forcing your views
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HThere is a lot of information missing here.
1- What is your personal finance situation?
2- How is the situation about marriage at the boy’s house? How about their parents? Do they like you? Are they okay with accepting you and taking care of all the consequences?
3- What is the the boy’s expectation from you and vice versa in case you do not have any support other than one another?
Speaking from personal experience, do not take any step that might harm you later. Don’t mind me saying but love will fade once everyone cuts you off and you start struggling. So make sure you have thought it enough, especially from the finance perspective.
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BHave you both achieved financial independance/finished degree?
If you want to elope, atleast do After becoming financially secure/having good career. Otherwise life becomes very difficult to survive. Cannot survive on love alone. Eloping can be done anytime.
Regarding Notice other people have already mentioned. Good luck.
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QNAL..
How old are you OP that you have decided to elope? Have you given much thought about this? I am sure that the decision to elope is coming from you rather than your bf.
And this is rich coming from you OP when you are having sex related problems with your bf where he can’t seem to get it up as per your other post on r/sex.
Also you say if your family came to know about your plan, they will harm your bf. What guarantee is there that after you elope, they will not harm you and your bf? Many have advised you to seek protection from the police and high courts, etc. but do you think the cops will watch you guys 24/7? This is the Indian cops we are talking about, your family would have taken action and the cops wouldn’t have even known, until they have found your corpses.
There is also a guaranteed fact that your family will file cases for abduction, rape, religious conversion, etc to name a few against your bf and his family and blackmail you to agree with them. This way they will torment your bf and his family and also humiliate him and his family. Why are you trying to ruin and destroy the lives of your bf and his family?
There is a lot of trouble with inter caste and inter religious couples who have eloped and married in our country as such. Don’t add yourself as another number to that statistic.
Either you and your bf find a way to get married with your respective family’s consent and approval or drop the idea altogether and do yourselves both a favour.
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