- This topic has 41 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
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UHello all,
I am posting first time, sorry for all the mistakes.
I am F(28), met this guy online in a community group when I was 21. He was already married twice had a kid with absolutely zero career, subsisting on his second wife’s money so he had so much free time at his disposal. He convinced me to accept his friend request on Facebook and even call on that. With time I started to trust him and naively I spilled more stuff than required related to my family disputes and ended up sharing many normal photographs of me, my family and friends etc. I never knew he was creating database of all this.
He then started to express his love for me despite being married, wanted me to visit his house when his wife was at work, send nudes and asked for money, none of which I ever complied with. I was never in love but yes I was fond of him or maybe he was being emotional clutch when my career was going nowhere. He instigated me against my friends and family with stupid theories, started to tell me “he has not come this far alone”. There were countless long duration calls over a period of two years and circus ended on bad terms when he started to approach my friends with screenshots of our conversations.
Since then it has been 5 years I never spoke to him but he has continued to call me despite being blocked, send me emails, messages wherever possible, he even called my father on Facebook and pitched him some business idea (it was indirect threat as he did not even mention me) , he knows SM accounts of my extended family members (he knows secrets of). It has always been exhausting to live like this for long but fearing for my father’s reputation I refrained from taking action. Yesterday, he send another screenshot of a VC to my brother’s number asking my how bouts. He still does not work and has so much time to do all this. Sometimes I feel he wants to be on good terms again but he has harassed me so much that I hate his face and I want that son of bitch to rot in hell.
I might be married soon and I want these threats to discontinue but I fear if I tried to warn him he may disclose more secrets or leak conversations making my life hell. I repeat I have not said or done anything that I need to be scared of but coming from a conservative family even normal chats will distort my image forever. I was too stupid to trust someone like that.
What are the safe options available with me ? Is it possible to proceed with complaints without informing my family?
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UThankyou so much. Do you suggest me to warn his wife once before I proceed or immediately file an FIR
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BVisit police station and file FIR.
Threats will never stop. Cops will confiscate his electronic devices.
Please register FIR else it will only get worse.
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UIf I file complaint in Delhi will these people direct police of that state to nab him or how does it practically work…? Will they ask money from me , anyone is needed to accompany those cops to his house to confiscate his electronic devices or what
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BYou need to file FIR against him
It only gets worse if you don’t file FIR. if you think he will change his behavior if you try to be polite with him him. You are wrong
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Btake help of u/st_broseph if you want.
He is bangalore but he may have friends in Delhi. He is social worker. He helps people in filing FIR
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UKindest thanks but the offender resides somewhere in mathura and there are 20 police stations in that district
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BYou need to file FIR in nearest police station.
It doesn’t matter where accused resides. Even if you go to police station near accused House, those cops won’t take FIR because you don’t live in their jurisdiction.
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BJust today there is separate news from Nashik where delivery boy arrested for doing same with girl he befriended on social media. He used to blackmail and after year harassment girl registered FIR
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BVictim identity is kept secret.
It’s choice to cut finger right now or cut hand later. You just need to tell cops exact same that you are afraid to social stigma and not to involve your family
because he will going to blackmail you again even after you married. Take help of women NGO if you need it.
Please for god sake register FIR. Gather some courage.
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UFirst of all, I understand you made this decision when you were young, but still
Married twice, had a kid, zero career, and living off his wife’s money
What were you thinking?-
UI wasn’t in some relationship with him and all these things were gradually disclosed by him not immediately
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USee, there are 2 options you have here
Take the high road or the straight one
Either consult the cyber security department (1930) as few people have mentioned
Or
You might have to involve your family and there is a possibility that some of your secrets might come out but be strong, and antagonize the guy, but problem is this might get you at legal risk
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UI don’t want to involve my family at all. I will rather seek help from a cousin and file legal FIR
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UI d suggest u from filing an fir ,just take your cousin bro pay up some money to the cops to be on your side and get ur ex bf /friends summoned to the police station and have a mediation done there saying he will not follow you or try to trouble you or harm him ,ask the cops to take it in writing from him..
Or
Just tell your parents
Possibility 3,
What incase he wins the case in the court and says you have falsely booked cases on him and files a defamation suit (remember the best lawyers can also twist the cases irrespective of how much evidence or proof you have against him?do you really want to run to the courts ,criminal cases take so long ,and if u miss appearing to court during the time of evidence an arrest warrant can also be issued against you..
I d suggest you to go with option no 1 what I ve suggested…just meet the cops and see if you can sort out the mess ,before u finally have to involve ur family or before you lodge a legal complaint
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UHis second marriage is on the verge of breaking up and he wants me to be emotionally dependent on him again, he enjoyed that very vulnerable phase of mine.
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UIf his marriage is breaking That’s his problem ,not yours!!!let him deal with it…I just hope the last conversation between u and him was 5 years and not in the last couple of months or years?have you completely cut of from him for the past 5 yrs?
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UYess it has been long five years . Back in 2020 jan I warned him last time. Since then only he keeps calling me inspite of being blocked. ( I get notified via Truecaller), mailed me songs etc, Whatsapped me whenever he could and now he’s reaching out to my family members.
I have not even bothered to warn him again which made him this bold to proceed like this..-
UThen ask someone for help from (your (cousins/friends)who are highly influential in the state you are or in the state they live and get him summoned to the nearest police station where he loves or you livr and end it amicably
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UUnfortunately he doesn’t know the laws madam the laws can be in your favour in case you file rape case against him(In case you ve had sexual intercourse with him ,that will ruin his life)but I wouldn’t wanna suggest you anything of that sort…I think u tend to over think …You are being the judge here ,you are being the jury ,your being the witness,he’s not so monstrous as you claim him to be!!! whats his financial position??)
(I apologise if I sound a little harsh here , but you will be asked the same questions with your family or ur future husband or in the courts too if you end up filing an fir )Etc so be mentally prepared…
Or
find a friend or cousin who has the contacts and can help you sort this mess ) AMICABLY!!!
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UJust go to the cops and explain the problem. You haven’t made a big mistake. Everybody makes bad judgements. Just go to the cops and explain. Being a woman they will be even more sensitive. If you are in a metro city even better. The cops are better trained to handle things.
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UIf you file a fir u will be called to the court to testify before the judge and a notice will be sent by the court to your residence and ur family will get to know eventually…study the legal system well before u take any steps ,what I suggest I best to cut of him change ur emails ids and move on in life with the guy who ur planning to marry
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UWhat if he follows me after marriage and approaches my husband with those messages…. How will I explain stuff to him..
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UCan you explain why again you started an online friendship with 21 year old? I don’t understand that part of the story.
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