- This topic has 70 replies, 27 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 4 months ago by
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UHi everyone, I’m a 23-year-old entrepreneur from a small city. After my mother passed away, my father remarried when I was 5. I have three younger half-siblings—one brother (20) and two sisters (16 and 15). Growing up, I was very involved in their lives, especially taking care of my younger sisters. But since 2020, they all drifted apart despite living in the same house, they never talked to me till date or We never sat together or talked and nothing due to step relations. My relationship with my father and stepmother has always been distant, and now, my siblings barely speak to me either.
Our community doesn’t value education much—most girls drop out by the 9th grade and forced to marry, and boys usually go into labor or earning daily wages in construction fields. Here this the trend of marriages, From starting their is rift between us. Now, my father has arranged a reception for my 16-year-old sister this March and the marriage on next year . But she dreams of cracking NEET and becoming a doctor at AIIMS, and she’s the first girl from our community to be accepted into the top science college of our city.
My sister is devastated and has even mentioned suicide if she’s forced to marry. She asked for my help through a friend because she knows our father won’t listen. I want to support her dreams, but my father threatened me and warn for an FIR If I interfere, and my stepmother has threatened violence. They’ve made it clear that I have no say in their decisions as I hadn’t any right on siblings, and my friends think I don’t have any legal right to intervene.
I feel helpless and alone, and I’m torn between protecting my sister and her dreams. Letting this child marriage happen feels wrong on very early age , I’d already fragile relationship with my family. I need advice on what to do—how can I help her as they treats me outsider always ? Please share your thoughts.
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Ahow can your father file an FIR? you expose he’s trying to get your underaged sister married, he won’t come out of this.
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UAs of them I’m wrong and had no idea of girl’s life. No one is educated here so cops here are biased. Like fake cases are common here. Here marrying underage is common last year public marriage taken place here of many underage brides and government ignored.
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PYou can intervene provided your sister stays strong on her resolve. She should not give into emotional callings.
Please seek help from NGO and seek help from Women’s commission. However, be aware once she is rescued, she will need to relocate else family will make life hell. I even fear if something like honor killing takes place. Also, your life will be miserable courtesy family and the so called community.
So, be ready to support her through thick and thin. All the best!-
UBut I hadn’t any right to protect him no one feel this is wrong accept me. They are treating me very badly as they believe education is only for boys not for girls. by the way I promised her ki I’ll give my life to not to happen this.
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PContact some media person. Then the police will also have to take action and stop the marriage from proceeding.
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QYou are in a difficult position please tag the police commissioner /chief justice of India/The political party supremo who is in opposition in your local constituency on twitter requesting them to stop child marriage being held with proof on twitter
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QOh but you have to provide proof like a recorded video or an invitation card to marriage or a conversation between elders finalising the marriage otherwise it is your word against theirs and that people I bet if you tag chief justice of India people involved will have to abandon the marriage because he is the keeper of law and child marriage is a crime
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BYou should try contacting her family first and make your best efforts in making everyone understand the situation. If that doesn’t work, find out if there’s an effective and reputed NGO which works for the welfare of girl children in the vicinity or in the district. Contact them. If they are of not much help either, contact the police. Exhaust all the remedies step by step before approaching this matter legally.
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WCall BBA and file a complaint. There are also NGO’s that will intervene.
Speak to a lawyer and see how you can gain guardianship of your sister.
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AHe can’t do shit legally. Legal age for marriage in India is 18. If he calls police they’ll put him in jail.
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UPolice are corrupt here they put me in jail of fake case but not them , I tried thousands of time by emailing and colling but no one helps. Police can do anything for you if money is given.
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UNo bro no they don’t listen . Literally I emailed every ministry for help but they won’t responded from last year.
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UNAL
Calling NGO who works for women empowerment and all is only for now contact them and discus further they can guide you in a better way-
UIf I contact them and they send police to home and family members become panic then by collecting relatives they will do marriage of her secretly and send her away. This could make me wrong person in their belief.
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CThis is not legal advice,but just call women and child helpline numbers and ask for help. Child helpline is 1098.
Moreover how old is the groom? If he is underage then it is also a plus point and complain about two minors, but if he is not you can anonymously call him and tell that you know he is marrying an underage child, and you can get him arrested in a posco. He can never get out of jail or get any good jobs.
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QOP, I have went through the comments and your replies, Police is corrupt, lawyer blue helpful, no replies from gov.
I would suggest, tweet it out, tag PMO, CM, and NGO.
Post the tweet here, we shall upvote it.
Don’t forget to reply with the tweet to reach and every comment as notifications might be on replies
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FNAL. So will give you a practical advice, if you are not financially independent, you better stay silent. Moral Advice – if you are okay to drag your own family into court cases and ruining any chance of them being part of your life, call women commission of your state. There’s also child and women protection wing in some states, they have toll free numbers as well.
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SOne of my friends has a big social media account. He even got many folks arrested. Police literally had to take action because of his tweet. Give me a 10-15 liner writeup about this. Place, area everything.
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ULook man, I have an unpopular take on this.
Legally you can do tons to stop this from happening but it will ruin your relationship with your father. And your sister will be ostracized by the rest of the family and community.
So before taking any legal action you need to look at the following and I can hand-hold for police complaints and some legal work pro-bono –
(1) If not the parents then does you sister have enough means to sustain herself through college ? Are you earning enough to be able to take care of her financial needs like education and food and shelter?
(2) If you do stop this, which is very possible thanks to the legal system, you and your sister will be ostracized from the community and your father may out fake cases against you.
Your sister and/or you may be banished from the community if child marriage is such an acceptable part of your community.(3) I, personally, have very limited experience with such archaic social norms. But from what I have seen in alwar district of Rajasthan – shit can get pretty ugly and long drawn within the family when such differences crop. So check within your community to gauge the sort of reactions you will get from vilage/community elder and if they will support your argument. Else they will just use muscle power (gunda-gardi) and go ahead with it anyway.
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UExactly brother you’re right. My sister can sustain through college . I’m financially stable but I’m his step brother he never talked with me from last 3-4 years and if I saved her according to other people’s way still she will kill himself due to the mess created by police in community. If I done any kind of FIR in government agency or any, her mother’s family will kill me. That’s the main problem legal system doesn’t do anything. No community leader is helping.
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UYou can give an anonymous tip to an NGO or national commission for women.
And how they figure it out.
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UIf I gave tip they start digging whole case and foolishly do everything without knowing background and conditions in this type of communities and this is not first to happen, this is the first time when someone trying to stop because this is the same trend followed by generations. And breaking this generational change may risk a life or two.
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USo you have to kind of take multiple precautions
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1. Physical safety of both you and your sister.Idk what kind of people they are but the news now a days is crap
2. Start researching on how to rescue.Ngos and what not .
3. If you live out of state that’s better because then they can’t make trouble that easily.
4.Might have to go no contact with any one in her old home, remember more than your family gaav valo ko takleef hoti hai you guys have to make sure you guys don’t give away your location that easily once you guys start this.No insta and social media till both of your are independent i guess.
5. You have the high ground , you can probe a bit and if you feel the time is right better get the first move too. -
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ISee depends which community u belong from as per indian majority act the age for marriage of girl is 18 and no one can force her to marry before that ..subject to if the customs allow that even then she can say no to it and go to the local police station and report that further in no manner whatsoever your father can file any FIr against u ..untill and unless he files a false one with fake allegations which have nothing tk do with the marriage ..Lawyer this side
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PDekh bhai nothing is more important then your sister’s well being . Forget about your family’s badnaami
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UYaha k log badnaami karne waalon ko zinda nhi chhodenge. Maine baat ki hai ngo se unhone optimal solution kaa promise kiya hai.
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PMad World man , the only thing I would say ki your father cannot fire any FIR . If you have any police connection use it .
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UYou need to move out of the house. Get away from them and make your own life.
What the Fuck are you doing? Why haven’t you moved out?
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UBecause I teached the child kindness and that also applied on me brother. I raised them like they are my own pieces of heart no matter if they are kind to me or not I’ll stuck on my teachings. I’ll help them till my last breath.
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UYour mom would not want you to put your own life on hold for your step siblings that don’t even respect you.
Your mom would want you to move out, get married with lot of kids. Do what your mom would want.
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UNo buddy that’s not true, she planned about their childrens and they kicked me out.
I’m literally not got a single girl to talk but still I’m searching out someone for marriage, but I don’t think this will possible maybe I must go to bairag or something.I hadn’t any expectation with life.
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UI’m not talking about your step-mom. I’m talking about your real mom. Think about what she would want for you and then go do it
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SThere would be a district children protect officer in the district as per juvenile justice act. they are bound to prevent the marriage under prevention of child marriage act, 2006
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EBetter explain your father that it is not legal to get married before 20 years………..message him daily on his phone just tell him you feel something wrong that is why u r messaging daily….something like ek baar sochlo papa legal age 20 years hai abhi to behen 16 ki hai…itni bhi jaldi kya hai types…speak in soft manner….even if he calls and speak or shout at you just maintain soft tone and just mention that u think something off and ur heart is not accepting. dont threaten
and if he still likes his daughter after several days of your messaging atleast he will speak with her in proper way
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