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UI’m 28M and this incident of mine has been haunting me throughout life every single day and today I’m here to open up to know what it feels to the world.
Back then when i was 4 or 5 year old i used live in a joint family my dad with 3 brothers and their children (My cousins) used to live together in a same house around 15 members jointly.
My Aunt(Dad’s elder sister) had a son( bro in law) who is 12 Year elder to me was living with our family for his studies. He used to be very close to all of our cousins and we used liked him for being playful and supportive. He personally was very close to me often taking me to parks,movies,buying chocolates and treated me well. During those days he used to take me to his room put his dick in my mouth like a lollipop and this continued for days or weeks or months i’m not sure. I didn’t know what i was doing at that age and i happened to realize this assault during my teenage(17YO) and felt traumatized by the incident till date.
This was never revealed to anyone till date and this is the first time I’ve put this out. I don’t know if i should take action against him at this age or let go to rot in my brain forever. This frustration has intensified after watching Rana Naidu (OTT) where i relate my self with Jaffa (Character) and i’m as introvert as the character been portrayed.
Just want to know if there’s any way I can take a legal action, though i don’t have any proofs.
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UNope. You can’t do much except confronting him. Ask him to apologize. Though the apology is nothing compared to what u have been through.
I am sorry. There is no proper evidence to take him the legal route.
The only solution I can think of is finding victims who have gone through similar experiences bec of this AH.
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UOh okay, I was searching in net and chatgpt ti see if its anything related to law and got those words 😅😂.
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UFirstly, he is your cousin, not your brother in law.
Secondly, you and he were both kids, so there is nothing that you can do because it is not like he was an adult, neither were you, you both were kids. At best you can confront him and ask him to apologize or you can just move on from this and try to forget him by trying to avoid him or both of you don’t cross each others’ paths. I don’t think anything else realistically can be done.
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UBro, ippudaithe I don’t think much can be done. And confront chesina em use undadhu he will deny. But idhi correct oh kaadho naku theleedhu, ila cheppocho ledho kuda theleedhu kaani chepthunna hints isthu bhayapettu, blackmail cheyy indirect ga. Bhayam ante ento thelisthe he would never think of abusing another child. And adhi konchem neeku oka satisfaction ivvochu but trauma povalante mathram ni close people who wouldn’t judge you ala unte share all your feelings with them and go in therapy if needed.
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UI thought this would be the plan of action as final resort as my atta has filed cases against my family for ancestral property claim. I might use this victim card if necessary.
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UCheck is he still abusing any other people .. ?
Talk to him …. Let there children know stop him from doing these things to other people-
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UBhai, these kind of people DO NOT change. I am sure he would be abusing them too, in subtle way, but definitely. These folks take pics of their daughters and jerk off to them later.
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UExtremely sorry for what happened to you, but “Karma” is a superstition that we can’t rely on. It’s just a false comfort to feel happy when something bad happens to bad people, but lot of good people too go through extremely tragic incidents.
We should instead strictly teach all the children, atleast since the age of 3, about “good touch” and “bad touch”. You probably would have immediately informed your parents by the first act of atrocity itself or atleast you wouldn’t have let him do that easily, if you were taught about good touch-bad touch.
Please consider consulting a good therapist, if you think this is psychologically affecting your social life.
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UI’m so sorry you had to go through this, this is really devastating to hear but reminds me of a similar incident
my ex when he was in his 2nd grade had a neighbour (unmarried 29 30 age) who eventually gained the trust of my ex’s family fully
my ex say V, used to sleep at the neighbour’s place often
he was raped brutally, he used to cry and scream out of pain but couldn’t tell anyone as he was innocent on the other side his family won’t even believe the fact that the neighbour could do something like that
this continued for 2 years
the last time I talked to my ex, I got to know that the guy got married and has 2 kids, he also went to meet my ex’s family and smirked looking at V -
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UPlease seek therapy and get help and work towards moving away, confronting that mf won’t do much unless there’s concrete evidence. I’m so sorry you had go through that. Your bil is the kind of person I fantasise about unaliving the worst way possible.
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UI think relation wise he is your cousin, but still such a disgusting act of him. Did you confront him? As you both were minors I’m not sure if any serious legal actions can be taken. There isn’t also any evident proof of his actions I suppose. Best thing is to talk it out with him. And sees if he genuinely apologises. NAL
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UYes you can take a legal action against him using this vajra aayudha for under 18 abuse.
The POCSO Act, the beauty of this act is it you can file a complaint irrespective of your current age regarding your teenage abuse.One of the key aspects of this act is that the accused is presumed to be an abuser/criminal, and the burden is on them to prove their innocence.
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UTaking the legal route will not yield much. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t confront him. Take help of other family members you trust and confront him.
Note that since this is really old, there will be a lot of melodrama. He might deny it completely, many family members might not support you or disbelieve you. There will be consequences to this disclosure that will be unpleasant and gut wrenching. So when you do this, make sure you have the stomach for it. Don’t flake out midway because then you will be worse off.
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HIf a snake bites you, would you go after the snake asking and understanding why he bit you or would you first help yourself heal ?
I’m sorry for what you went through. But analysing, and wanting closure in such situations through confronting your assaulter rarely helps. This is coming from an assault survivor. So first focus on healing the parts of you which felt violated, hurt. Let your wound heal, and after you’re healed you can confront him. The only difference between confronting him now and when you’re healed is that once you’re healed, his reaction will not bother you as much as it will now. -
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UI would suggest learn basic martial arts and give his jaw a strong massage, such that he might require a facial reconstruction surgery to be able eat solid food again.
Also after that tell your cousin everything, because he will definitely do this again, to his own kids(he probably might be already!). Put an end to the cycle.
He has no standing to go to the law, he is a predator and he knows it.
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UYou need to put yourself through therapy, find a counsellor and start your therapy. You can file a case but It is very difficult to collect the evidence now. This will put you through more trauma. You make him apologise to you alone or in front of other family members (if that liberates you from the trauma).
Or you can make him confess without using any force or coercion and take that as evidence (recorded).
In whatever you choose to do, you need healing through therapy. -
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