- This topic has 28 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
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MSoftware Engineer from Bangalore, 27M. Net Worth ~2 Cr+. Income: ~1.4Cr PA.
I am sh*t scared of getting married to someone, have it go wrong and then having to give half of all my hard earned money to the other person just because the relationship dd not work out. The anxiety that this gives me has increased especially in the last couple of years looking at all the divorce settlement cases that come up in the news all the time but even without them, I would like to be on the safer side if things go south. I wish pre-nups were legal in India.
My current thought is to create a trust as apparently that moves the ownership of my assets to the trust and the nominees of the trust control it. Since, it is a trust and I would be a nominee, the assets under the trust are under my control but not mine and hence will not be split incase a divorce happens.
But, I don’t have much knowledge about if this is the right way to do things and am exploring the options available to me. I am looking for help on how should I go about it? My initial thoughts were to approach a CA or a Lawyer. I have no clue about who will actually help create this and want to get an understanding of the same from all the experienced folks in this sub-reddit.
Any advice will be greatly appreciated
Also [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/FatFIREIndia/comments/1jh5hvr/comment/mj4is19/) this in r/FatFIREIndia
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Fdo the following
1 – open ind money account, maybe you have or use interactive broker
2 – don’t shy away from paying 20% tcs, invest all your money in s&p500. That’s the oldest most liquid most stable index. choose am etf which tracks this. this is warren buffett advice.
3 – don’t own anything like land, stocks, or anything which needs indian government stamp duty
4 – take a loan application or land or home construction. not flat or home loan. the interest rate should be higher.
5 – in bad times in marriage, job, or anywhere where the judiciary gets involved, take that loan and star defaulting on it.
6- nbfc will claim your assets before the judiciary can
7 – declare bankruptcy in bad times
the Indian judiciary or the government can never claim your s&p500 investment, make the nominee of those as your dad . uncle Sam will show middle finger to these babbu
you might be at a faang, use mental health leaves, declare you are facing challenges due to wife behaviour, judge behaviour. use care giving leaves for your mom
get pip, get poor rating if your wife is not behaving. stop gaslighting yourself. job at a faang is already hard. the women with 3 boyfriends 3 hookups working as qa in witch companies can’t understand the pressures of faang. don’t Gaslight yourself.
I will suggest you to marry someone from faang itself who can understand the pip pressure, promotion politics, and challenging mental blocking work here
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UWhen you say make your dad nominee of the s&p even if it is under my name and nominee is my dad this will work? Or the stocks have to be in dads name?
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UIf you are that scared of marriage and the prospect of losing your net worth worries you constantly, don’t marry at all. You can have a peaceful life and enjoy luxuries that not many can afford.
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MThank you for replying. I am mainly trying to figure out if there is a way to have the best of both worlds. I want to solve the problem rather than avoiding it altogether. I would prefer having the choice to marry without losing my wealth and hence am exploring options for the same.
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MAlso to reiterate, i am not scared of marriage. I am only scared of the prospect of losing half my wealth.
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UThere are no such things like “prenups” in India. You can’t decide to marry someone or have a relationship in a transactional manner as it simply doesn’t exist in this country. Sooner or later, you will have to come to a decision whether to marry now or to remain single forever. Money isn’t the only deciding factor when a person chooses a partner. People after 30 have it hard when it comes to finding partners due to balding issues for men, physical attractiveness also fades away for both men and women as they give less importance to their physical wellbeing. Only time will tell if a partner is good or bad. You can’t predetermine your opposite gender exists just to come after your money. Worrying about something that may happen in the future is also foolish. Time is ticking and it waits for none. Whether you want to take the risk or not is up to you. Good luck!
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SIf you continue to make this much money then going for a trust is a good idea, not just for marriage related issues but also for better tax planning. Big 4 partners do such things who gets $$ in millions and their family members would be part of the trust. The profit gets split among trust members to make it efficient tax vehicle. In your case, hope for best and approach with positive mindset. Don’t give too much importance to external beauty, you should be able to find love. Wish you all the best.
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PCongratulations that you have succeeded in creating wealth for yourself & for your family. Now that you have money, work on your self. You don’t need CA or Lawyer right now, but a good counsellor. There is no need to be anxious about something unknown. Once you discover yourself, you will be enlightened to choose the right life partner. So, first work on your self and identify what kind of personality your are. When you are choosing the life partner, be open about who you are and openly express all your positives as well as negatives & most importantly your expectations from the marriage. and aske her also to be open about herself. Learn not to be judgmental, rather use an open approach to talk to people and understand them. Look life positively rather being a critic of everything around. With all this, you will be able to look at life differently.
Choose the life partner based on the compatibility rather status, education or such other materialistic things. Take all the time it takes to decide. Don’t start off with the notion that all the women out there, are looking for taking advantage of you. If you are in that mindset, think that all the girls out there are also anxious about getting burnt alive by their future husbands & in laws in the name of Dowry. This isn’t the case in reality.
the marriage under Hindu Marriage Act is a sacrament, it cannot be treated as a contract between 2 people.
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