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UHey everyone, I’m an Indian Hindu, and my girlfriend İs a Pakistani Muslim, I need advice on getting legally married in the UAE and bringing her to India ( legally or illegally). . Her brother lives in Dubai so she wants to get married there. Our families know everything about us. “Neither of us wants to change our religion, and we respect each other’s religion”
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EAs someone who did an inter-religion marriage – if I can roll back time then knowing what I know today, I’d not do it.
Not saying that you will face the same issues. You were very young as was I but love fades and life is a long journey. The compromises made to keep this going begin to add up quite quickly.
Good luck to you. May you have a wonderful married life.
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EThe first few years were alright. All lovi dovy and stuff. Then our learnings and moralities kicked in. Then kids came and began the shattered dreams productions.
My learnings taught me to touch the feet of my parents I still do but her’s didn’t. My kiddo is lost in between 2 different learnings and now doesn’t do anything. It didn’t matter when I was young but their values are understood once you are older.Remember a father not able to instill values to his kid/s is the most horrible situation one has to go through. You only understand once you are older.
Din ka khit pit to chor hi do. Your family has a legacy and it doesn’t matter how small or big all will bite the dust.
I’ll be giving away my ancestral home to my nephew because it’s clear my son will not be able to uphold the value system/sanctity of the place I called home which needs protecting.
I sowed the seed and this life will involve a lot of asking for forgiveness for it.
If it was not for my son who is my responsibility I’d have taken the route of vairagya already but I don’t want the compounding effects of my mistakes so here I’m willing away time and only doing my duties.-
UThe problem here seems to be that you were both young and naive and headed into the marriage without discussing the future at all. Even in case of a “normal” marriage the differences boil up to the surface after a couple of years of romance, and in your case there were cultural differences too. Usually an inter-faith marriage would work only if both parties are fairly liberal.
I hope you’re able to push through this, raising a child is the most difficult task by itself. I’m more worried about the kid- honestly, the poor thing must be under so much pressure from both sides. Perhaps the two of you can come to an agreement with regards to the “system” that is to be followed, after all i think you’d both want your kid to be a decent human being first- symbolic things like touching the feet (or its equivalent) can come later, perhaps leave it up to him to mix and match things or just follow his heart when he’s mature enough to understand.
Vairagya or not is totally your choice but this is the time you should stand behind your kid.
I’m sorry if it appeared like a lecture of sorts, it certainly wasn’t my intent- just that a close relative married inter-faith as well. Wish you all the best, i hope it works out for you.
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ENa bhai…I understand what the kid can go through if we fight over him. I’ve taken a back step for his sake. I’ll talk to him once he is old enough.
All discussions were there. I promised to stay with her, thick and thin to her mother. I’m not going to break my promise. I’ve never broken one and won’t break this one either.
Didn’t feel like a lecture though:)
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UThe isuue is you tried to put your culture on her and she resisted. Then your kid sided with her and you have decided to ditch your own son because he doesn’t follow your belief.
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EOk…very succinct!
As they say when two people are playing chess the spectators always has the better moves. Maybe you are that spectator.Thank you though.
BTW what’s the age of my son since you have all the answers.
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UI dont know age of your son but I wont ditch my son if he converts to another religion, if he become gay and marry a man. I wont be happy but I won’t leave him and give my property to someone else.
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PI agree. I guess his son is still a kid but he has already decided that he will give property to his nephew bcz nephew will be better.. a better what, hindu?
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EI’ve 80+ acres and I’ve given away 3 acres…. where did religion come here?
Where I’m from all religions touch their elders’feet. It has nothing to do with religion ….it’s culture. Travelling helps -
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UThank you for words. What do you think would be the best way to approach a inter-religious marriage then? I always found it odd that people leave out the kids’ religion when bring them up even if they themselves would not convert to the other religion.
What do you believe you could have done in the early years so that you could have instilled your values?
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EAwesome question. I’ve been pondering on that too for sometime now.
I always come back to me. I wasn’t serious about my roots/culture/language. I should have had given more thought like I do now. I was careless with my roots/background and now it is teaching me what happens when one is not serious. I see what my parents saw in me.
All this chasing money/career one tends to take them lightly. Money came but legacy (not individual) went away.
Now the 6th Generation won’t care about the culture of the place which bears my families name. I know I’ll be judged as few comments can’t see past religion even in this post. But in this case religion is just skin deep.
The astrologer was right he predicted this when I was in my very late teens. Except 1 thing whatever he had said is coming true. I’ll leave this earth a very lonely men, lonely in a crowd.
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QYou’re an idiot and sanctimonious to boot. Bad enough that you’re traumatizing your son over not touching parents’ feet, now you’re disinheriting him and pretending there is some massive moral conflict.
I’ve known sanctimonious people like you before and the pretence of morals. In all truth, I’m far more impressed by your son than by you. He’s sticking to his principles and not running behind your money and not indulging you to get your property.
Far too often in India, we have extremely spoiled parents. The older generation is filled with entitled assholes who think they are entitled to constant ego stroking.
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EWho told you I’m traumatizing anyone?
You are a funny man. Did you not read that I’ve taken a back step wrt his learnings and will address it only when he grows older.I’m not disinheriting anyone. I’m giving away 3 acres out of 80 in the village. He has enough in the city anyways. You want to bet he gives away the 77 acres to his cousins. BTW my son is 10 years old so calm down….let this be a learning…ask questions first before you pass judgement.
But you as a young blood are supposed to do what you exactly did. Ab shant ho jao Gadadhari Bhim. 🙂
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LYou are right in a way. People giving you “gyan” in comments have no idea of how the real life works. It is a basic duty of a parent to instil values in the child. But when value system differs what values to instil.
However Don’t be sad yr. There are always some problems in every home. Every love eventually fades to a large extent and settles to the extent of equilbirium which does not bother both the parties.
Mostly it is always the Men who let things go as we cant be always be tensed state of mind. We need to take care of family and fulfil our responsibility and duty.
I am in no position to give to any advice but i would say that you should leave some wealth to your son. A son usually realises the sacrifices made by our father late in life as we can come to realise.
Cheers and Best Wishes to you.
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EI welcome all suggestions at this time unknown bhai/dost. I used to be sad but not anymore because I have understood that I’m not in control. Our control is just an illusion.
Thank you for the encouragement. I’m not giving away my property in entirety. I’m just not giving him the “HOME” part. I’m giving away just 3 out of 80 acres so my son still has 77 acres of land plus everything else I own. I also don’t think he is going back to the village and he will mind. In all probability he will give away the 77 to his cousins. He has enough in tier 1 and 2 cities. -
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VOP, you will be the stupidest person to go to Dubai to get married to a Pakistani national
Go to any first world country where you have equal rights.
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SI did research on getting married in UAE. One person has to be a resident, for I believe at least 1 year.
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UYou should start using your own brain before questioning someone else’s. But I guess that’s too much to ask from someone whose only talent is whining online like a jealous loser. Your Pakistani sister used her brain—that’s why she chose to marry me instead of ending up doing Halala with some Pakistani islamic terrorist. Keep crying, it won’t change anything💩🤡
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