- This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
U
TLDR – auto driver ( known person ) pinched / pressed / held / grabbed my baby’s genitals though his clothes . When I questioned him , he fumble and denied it nervously . What disturbed me was it wasn’t a sudden spontaneous thing but he moved his hand slowly down and thought for a few seconds and then did it .
Today a very awful thing happened with my two year old baby So there is one auto driver maybe around late fifties in age . My parents have been using his services for around two three years .
Some weeks ago , I met him after a couple of years and he saw my baby for the first time . He gave so much attention to my baby , while riding the auto . Like constantly. Like not even focusing on driving and acting too happy and turning constantly to look at him . He was being grandfatherly but I don’t know why I didn’t like so much excessive attention on my baby . I don’t like so much attention on him from stranger men , I thought why is this auto driver getting so carried away as if he is meeting his own grandson like instead of focusing on driving he was repeatedly turning back to see my baby and smile and laugh at his talks , like constantly .
At the end of the journey when we got down , he tried to pull my baby’s hand to pick him up . My baby said no but he tried to pull him forcefully. I said don’t do he will cry but still he didn’t listen and tried to forcibly pull his hands. immediately stopped him and pulled my baby away and said no to him very politely .. But then I forgot about it after a month .
Today again I used his auto services. Me and my mom were in the auto and then my baby got it . He turned around and smiled at my baby and then he took his hand down and then I thought will he touch tummy but he grabbed my baby’s genitals . . He pinched lightly and my baby was wearing diapers under a very thin cotton pant .
I was taken aback and me and my mom told him . At first he lied and said that no I didn’t touch there . But I said we both hav seen don’t lie . Then he said he touched the string only . He had hesitation in his voice and was fumbling . I said we saw exactly . what you did . I was so upset inside .
I told him I know you don’t have bad intentions but I ah e taught my child about bad touch and this will confuse him. and I even explained to my son that it’s wrong and just say no uncle and push away . I was angry inside but my parents were being nice to him . So I explaining to him like “ we know you don’t have bad intention but we have to teach him about good touch and bad touch .
I had just spoken to him for five minutes and already my parents were asking me to drop it . I dropped it and then they behaved and spoke nicely to him in front of my son . I felt very disturbed because it is giving wrong idea to my baby. When I reached him my father said we can’t find autos always easily. My mom said he is an old man , there’s nothing on his mind . I do know people say that village people act like that and it’s common .
But I’m very disturbed . I feel that I got confused by my parents behaviour and I mellowed down which I should not have , I feel I should have left then and there so that my baby also knows it’s unacceptable , I am very disturbed after coming home . I feel I should have been more strict .
After coming home I told my baby that uncle is bad , no one should touch and tell uncle no , push hand away , and tell my dad will hit you if you touch me there . But he saw my parents behave nicely to that guy and causally and even stopped on the way for fruits . So I feel confused whether I overreacted or I under reacted .
If it was not a known person my husband and I would have raised hell . ( my husband was not there at the scene today ). I got confused as my parents think older men can’t be perverts .
I am very disturbed. All I want is to protect my son from all the predators out there .I know he is an old man but he is not that old. But I have heard people in villages tease baby about genitals.
But the thing is when he took his hand down to my baby’s genital area , he took it slowly like there was some deliberation like he knew it was wrong .Also sometimes my baby even gets confused for a pretty girl due to his longer hair and very sweet face. So again I don’t know what those man’s intentions were . I mean I’m thinking about it now , what if he did it thinking it’s a girl ? In that case he can’t pretend to be innocent and ignorant right ? ( al though same should apply to a boy ).
Please share your perspective. About that man and his intentions . About my reaction , whether I over reacted or under reacted .
What I should explain to my baby son ? Should I talk about this incident again tomorrow or will it traumatise him ?
I am feeling bad that my baby saw us being nice and normal with him after what he did . My baby anyway doesn’t like even getting hugged by anyone ever except parents and grandparents and likes his own space . How violated he might have felt .
I am feeling extreme regret. I feel I should have handled it more strictly . Ofcourse I won’t be meeting that auto driver ever again .
Btw I was not rude to him at all . I simply told him that we are teaching good and bad touch to our child . And if we don’t teach him , if we touch him , tomorrow any bad thing can happen in school and he won’t know it’s wrong .
Edit – after reading some supportive comments I am thinking to get the guy scolded by my husband by going to his house tomorrow
-
UNAL
You surely reacted the right way or maybe under reacted. That man is a PEDOPHILE .No person with a sane mind would touch a child down there.Motherly instincts are almost never wrong .I think you should avoid his services so that your child won’t get familiar with him .
Filing the complaint is one way but i am not sure how much police would help .They will most probably give him the benefit of doubt and even your parents are against it so i am not sure if they would even support your decision but on the other hand even if for the sake of it you should file a complaint because i fear for another child’s safety. -
Q>Edit – after reading some supportive comments I am thinking to get the guy scolded by my husband by going to his house tomorrow
What supportive. Comment? I am the second commentor here.
Anyways, ask about this same auto driver in ur localiry. If other parenta have noticed the same thing, then complain with police.
Stop making it a big event in front of your child tho. Let him forget so that it doesnt affect him growing up.
-
-
PAs an aside, the reason you didn’t be more strict or rude was because he is someone “known” to you. We go through life accumulating such ” friends” , a word we just casually throw about. There will be the core underlying monetary transaction , but with a dash of friendship. Too much coldness is seen down upon. But here’s the downside. Such blatant violation of trust. Think about all the many friends ( I use the term loosely) we all carry so carelessly, never realising that each one is a liability in the modern age of money.
This known auto driver relationship must have emerged between your parents and him at a time uber wasn’t available. The ability to use money to make any stranger do your bidding rather than create a facade of a bond along with it. The known uncle he now becomes. Rather than just the driver. -
-
