- This topic has 52 replies, 30 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
UI am witnessing a lot of hate towards women on social media recently, and a major reason for it are the alimony laws. My cousin had to give alimony to his ex wife too. Although it was a mutual divorce and she was earning well.
While I agree some women misuse the laws, I think there are many women who still need that protection. I don’t see how this entire thing can be sorted out.
Any opinion on this?
-
-
-
SThere is nothing wrong in alimony. The whole problem is false claims Ile fake dowry case, fake domestic violence case it’s all leads to the divorce settlement on the demand of womens.
And men have to settle these case with paying high amount of money as alimony.
Without fake cases womens can only get 20% of her husband’s wealth but in these fake cases men have only two choices 1- Go to jail , 2- full fill all demands of wife and settle down everything by paying whatever wife wants.
This is the why sometime a men have to pay more than his capability.
And it’s not good.
But by seeing indian society I guess these womens favorable laws should continue
-
U>There is nothing wrong in alimony
There is nothing wrong with alimony if it went both ways. If a guy sacrifices his career to run their house then he doesn’t get shit after divorce according to Indian laws
-
SBru I can understand your emotions but try to understand the thing. alimony apply both side even in Indian laws.
But in Indian traditions womens sacrifice her shares in parents properties not in term of law but in terms of family, so when couples file for divorce alimony mostly alloted to wives. Because wealth in legal terms a men have always more. We have to change this mentality so that men also be able for alimony.
-
-
-
-
UWhy should someone be obligated to take care of someone financially when they’re not together anymore?
-
EIf the other person has given their half of their life bearing kids and has no identity of her own then she would get alimony. Especially in India, where dowry, DV, demand for male children and crimes against women are so normal.
-
-
-
UThe laws irrespective of gender are exploited by educated people, the uneducated and underprivileged are the majority who need help but since they have no clue what to do, these laws despite existing fail.
-
-
PIn my opinion if man or women do a self enquiry through RTI regarding each other’s credentials then lot of cases would not happen as a lot of matters are related to credibility regarding each other.
Here are some of the matrimonial cases I have seen
A lot of cases are ego driven and could be solved if both parties send legal notice before filing any complaint against each other.
There are lot of cases where husband is living with only one surviving member of family like his mother in those cases he thinks that his mother is being forced to live alone by his wife.
In some of the cases father of bride has dreams of living with his son in law as before marriage they try to find a higher status family and are not able to match the status of husband. And husband after just one year in marriage and having limited resources does not want his father in law to live with him.
In cases when women files criminal complaint and police takes immediate action then husband face charges If he is guilty.
But what if he is not guilty, in those cases the women’s complaint does not have enough material to charge husband and court has to find out the truth. And it takes a lot of time for the court through current procedure to find out who is the guilty party.
Problem is huge if kid is involved.
To summarise through our current legal system
Women is suffering when husband is guilty of charges but they are equally suffering when he is not guilty of the charges. -
Ralways marry a woman who is capable of earning her own money and do not let her sit at home unless it’s absolutely needed..
-
EAnd then make her work at home too. After all, women belong to the kitchen. Eventually, you’ll have a maid who brings money too. Win win situation.
-
-
-
VIn india 90% marriage happens with dowry ( so called gifts). Nobody bats an eye for it.
But people makes a noises on 1% alimony ( india divorce rate) and compare it with dowry.
Imagine in their eyes
90%=1%
-
-
-
U90% ? People keep randomly pulling these numbers out thin air.
most dowry is given in form of stree dhanam.
The property is in the name of bride. Even you arent married you will inherit your share from your parents.
Groom doesnt own the property. This isnt 1990s whre your get exorbitant gifts.
-
-
-
CMaybe I’m just in a bad mood today but the simple solution would be for the government to stop sticking its nose into everyone’s business, marriage is supposed to be a social contract not a legal labyrinth, if you cant commit to someone without needing the government to hold a gun to everyone’s head you’re too childish to be married.
If full grown adults cannot make sound financial choices and secure their own lives marriage really shouldn’t be their concern. People in relationships break up all day everyday and find a way to get tf on with their lives, because you don’t have the government trying to milk 7 generations of court money from them. Just go your own way and move tf on with your life.
Oh and btw, a “sacrifice” by definition has to be selfless, if you expect something in return you didn’t make a sacrifice you made a trade off. If you’re that untrusting of who you married don’t fucking get married. You have the choice of not paying dowry and not getting married but instead they’d rather pay if then cry victim
-
LAh yes, this would really work in India where child marriages, dowry and forced marriages are still a thing in 2025.
-
C1. Child marriages aren’t legally recognized, irrelevant point
2. Just answered your question, you have the choice to not marry someone who asks for in the first place
3. If strong independent full grown adults can still be “forced” into major life decisions you have much bigger flaws to worry about in life. The government can’t fix your lack of a spine
-
R>Child marriages aren’t legally recognized, irrelevant point
So you’re saying the government SHOULD stick its nose into marriages? Otherwise, why would it matter if a marriage is legal or not?
>If strong independent full grown adults can still be “forced” into major life decisions you have much bigger flaws to worry about in life.
Still living on daddy’s money, I see.
-
CChild marriages are an issue because they involve children not because they’re marriages, it would fall under a child abuse issue, I was pointing out to the previous commenter that dragging millions of adults across court cases doesn’t solve child marriage in any way, child marriage is a separate issue altogether and irrelevant to this argument
And second I live abroad, my parents have been dead for years, no need to drag their names into this lol
-
-
CYou only throw insults at me, still waiting for any kind of proper response to my points. Government interference is unnecessary was my take, what’s your reason for supporting it? When the current system has been a hot exploitative mess that categorically fails to address culprits and spends its entire time and resources extorting people who have 300 false allegations against them?
-
-
-
-
-
-
UThis is such an ignorant take it’s insane. It pretty much just shows you’ve not interacted with anyone outside your cycle of maybe 50 techies and think that’s how the country works. Touch grass.
-
CLol what? I’m neither into tech nor do I live in India anymore, I could care less about what goes on there. Still every man is a man and I would rather stand with them than watch them suffer like this. If you have anything valid to counter that isn’t based on your emotions I’m open to hearing your thoughts.
If my words were too difficult to understand I can sum it up this way ; the problem was created due to extreme interference and solving it as it stands is damn near impossible hence getting rid of it altogether is one possible solution.
-
-
-
-
SThese laws are a lawyers paradise. You will not see such laws in any other “secular” country. The reason for these laws is the monkeys who wrote our constitution decided to allow special provisions for women and children. I’ll say it as as I have said it before, if your solution to a problem is to remove someone’s rights, then my friend you are not qualified to solve the problem. This is true for the idiots who wrote our constitution and the people who make such laws.
-
-
-
UI am a woman, and a big time feminist too. I did not mean to make it a men vs women battlefield. My only intention to post this was to understand alimony laws and why they exist in detail.
I understand that there is a section of men who have faced unfair rulings because of this law. However, there is a large section of women who give up (give up, not sacrifice as mentioned by someone here) on their careers to take care of their families. Even the one who doesn’t take long breaks from their career to raise a child. If I deliver a child today and take a 5 year gap in my career, I will be starting at this very point ( at best) and my husband will grow in his career in these 5 years. Ofcourse, he would be earning more than me at that point. This in addition to the pay parity that exists in our country.
And I am talking about only urban areas. It’s a different story in rural areas where women are far from being empowered even today.
Like I said in the original post, I just wanted to know if there’s a rational way of bringing more equality assuming there must be lawyers on this sub. The way people are hating women for no reason here ( and well almost everywhere these days) is plain annoying and it makes me angry.
Anyway, learnt my lesson. No more advice seeking on reddit.
-
-
GInteresting to see this question today as yesterday I gave some thought to the exact same problem. My opinion is that there’s no one size fits all solution. While I’d personally prefer that alimony becomes a forgotten concept, there’s no denying its need in many cases.
The solution is to decide, on a case by case basis, the loss of earning potential and the societal cost. There can and may be cases where alimony amount is zero, for example where the to-be recipient doesn’t suffer any career impact due to marriage.
No maintenance or alimony should be permanent or long term. In addition, all costs should also factor in the duration of marriage.
In addition to the above considerations, the laws should provide job security provisions during marriage. Let the newly wed take a decent amount of time off without the risk of being fired. It may or may not be a paid leave. For example, if a 3 month leave is provided to a working girl, she can start working again after her wedding and doesn’t suffer a lot of career loss.
I also think that there should be cases where alimony/maintenance should be voided. For example, any divorce resulting from a serious criminal offense by the to be recipient that’s not committed in self (or someone else’s ) defense.
Tldr: Base it on
1. Loss of earning potential / career opportunities
2. Current earning of the recipient and the provider
3. Earning potential of the recipient
4. Circumstances of divorce
5. Duration of marriageAnd don’t make it permanent if possible.
-
UI somewhat agree with you. Alimony can be conditional. I read somewhere that it is but given the nature of our society it is easier for a woman to show the loss that she incurred (career-wise) because that is true in a lot of cases.
I can’t say I agree with the leave for the new-wed part. Because it will be women taking this leave or atleast the employer will assume that women will be taking this leave and that might affect her chances of employment.
-
-
BThe law is really lenient when it comes to maintenance. It is essentially 1/3rd for the husband, 1/3rd for the wife and 1/3rd for the child. Don’t be swayed by social media of all things. What the court will want to do is to essentially provide a similar lifestyle that the spouse had during marriage. Being a lawyer myself the most I’ve seen a court award maintenance has been 10k a month and a one time settlement of 2.5 L.
Honestly, as long as you don’t cheap out on lawyers and go to a good one, you’ll be fine. All the people I see crying about laws against men are just jumping on a hype train without knowledge of how the law works. Even in the case of Atul from Karnataka, he needed a good lawyer and he perhaps wouldn’t even need to pay maintenance in the end.
-
-
BWhen I say don’t cheap out I mean to say don’t go for someone only because they’re offering the service for less than what everyone else asks for. Talk to the lawyers and find out exactly what can be done for your situation. Sometimes it’s okay to go for a cheaper option and sometimes it’s not.
And not to be rude, even a law student could have saved atul his life if he just approached one to find out what can be done, instead of having a thought process similar to yours and break down instead of seeking help. The law is very easy to understand for people who have spent years practicing and studying it. For others it’s not. Leave it to the guys that have dedicated their entire lives to this profession instead of passing a vague and cynical comment.
-
-
L>What the court will want to do is to essentially provide a similar lifestyle that the spouse had during marriage
But why, i don’t understand the point of this. Obviously there will be a change in lifestyle when someone get divorced, but why should one be forced to pay so his spouse could maintain the earlier lifestyle ? How is it on him/her? They broke all ties with each other
-
-
-
AThe coded laws are very reasonable. There is no Alimony in India. According to Hindu marriage act even the husband can ask for maintenance. The laws state that the wife will get maintenance according to her lifestyle before divorce. Also wife won’t get maintenance if she is self sufficient in providing for herself.
-
EThere’s no blanket approach that would serve the purpose in these cases. That’s what the problem is. Ideally where a woman is earning a decent living from her own job or has her own family money from before the marriage, or investments that allow her to live a decent life, especially if she didn’t put her career/education aside to take care of the house, the family, wasn’t a stay at home mom… you know common sense ideas… alimony doesn’t make sense. Notice how many caveats I had to add in there just to essentially say inb4 x or inb4 y. I’m sure someone will be like… *but what if…*
But then in a country where judges order men to marry their rape victims, I’m not sure we can rely on common sense or just logic to dictate how to address these cases. Shit’s fucked yo!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
