What if I want my kids to take my wife’s surname and a neutral middle name?

Community Forums Legal Advice India What if I want my kids to take my wife’s surname and a neutral middle name?

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    • #37119 Reply
      User_5e5670a6
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        User_5e5670a6
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        March 12, 2025 at 3:40 am
        We are a happily married couple working in Bangalore, blessed with a baby few days back. We want our baby girl to take my wife’s surname. We are also thinking of coming up with a neutral middle name for her that combines both our names. While I know that a person can legally change their name to whatever they want, I am curious to learn if there could be some legal technicalities, archaic rules, etc that may create issues with important documents like birth certificate, passports, school admissions, etc. I want to make sure we are ready to navigate any archaic rules/legalities so that our daughter does not have to face any issues. Our social circle in Bangalore is very progressive and supportive of our decision, as are our parents, so the question is more about legalities in making this choice.

      • #37133 Reply
        Shravyaowl724
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          Shravyaowl724
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          March 12, 2025 at 3:44 am
          Why!?

          • #37147 Reply
            User_637cdf2e
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              User_637cdf2e
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              March 12, 2025 at 3:49 am
              But why?

              • #37161 Reply
                Experttarun6146
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                  Experttarun6146
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                  March 12, 2025 at 3:51 am
                  Why not?

                  • #37175 Reply
                    Megabro9024
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                      Megabro9024
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                      March 12, 2025 at 4:41 am
                      Exactly — Why not

                • #37146 Reply
                  Experttarun6146
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                    Experttarun6146
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                    March 12, 2025 at 3:52 am
                    Why not?

                    • #37160 Reply
                      Shravyaowl724
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                        Shravyaowl724
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                        March 12, 2025 at 6:08 pm
                        Because it’s stupid & illogical.

                        • #37174 Reply
                          Experttarun6146
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                            Experttarun6146
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                            March 13, 2025 at 6:16 am
                            Why? Why is it stupid?

                            • #37181 Reply
                              Shravyaowl724
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                                Shravyaowl724
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                                March 13, 2025 at 5:20 pm
                                How is it intelligent?

                        • #37145 Reply
                          Samirlion580
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                            Samirlion580
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                            March 12, 2025 at 5:10 am
                            Aise hi cool lag raha tha.
                            Also his surname could be wierd like Boob, which believe me is legit surname in India.

                            • #37159 Reply
                              Cleverfalcon1643
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                                Cleverfalcon1643
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                                March 12, 2025 at 5:39 am
                                Its possible

                                • #37173 Reply
                                  Silentthinker3482
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                                    Silentthinker3482
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                                    March 12, 2025 at 7:00 am
                                    OP pls confirm?

                              • #37144 Reply
                                Smartseeker6440
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                                  Smartseeker6440
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                                  March 12, 2025 at 10:37 am
                                  Because people are more idiot here than logical.

                                  They want different revolts to happen by changing surnames for a change that will give them more problems and won’t solve issues.

                                  They are all about individualism, but in the end, they do this in favour of change in society and mess everything up in the process.

                                  • #37158 Reply
                                    Shravyaowl724
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                                      Shravyaowl724
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                                      March 12, 2025 at 6:06 pm
                                      Very logical reply, I’m all for individualism but they are as you noted illogical.

                                      • #37172 Reply
                                        Smartseeker6440
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                                          Smartseeker6440
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                                          March 13, 2025 at 12:38 pm
                                          I really don’t understand the fact of Reddit herd, like being individualistic isn’t equal to being logical.

                                          You won’t even do the name change in the name of progressive until others do, because you are human and a social animal.

                                          They forgot that India is a family-oriented society and not individualistic, name change here by logic will cause you trouble, here no one will save you from that because you are progressive, but rather the fact that our culture and system are different, you can do all this by voting and peaceful ways, but they choose ways that cause themselves harm than others.

                                          You are downvoted in a legal subreddit, where logical reasoning and proof are used to get things done.

                                          People here are saying go ahead, OP, bro, keep ideology aside from legal laws in a subreddit that is made for laws.

                                          There is no law passed that makes it easier for you to do that.

                                          So better to stick to talking about laws than how progressive or conservative you are

                                          It only matters when you have to pass a bill, not when a law is already there and you can’t change it in the meantime without being in issues.

                                  • #37132 Reply
                                    Happykunal9581
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                                      Happykunal9581
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                                      March 12, 2025 at 3:49 am
                                      You can get the name changed through the gazette, but think carefully before taking this step, you might regret it later. Good luck and congratulations

                                      • #37143 Reply
                                        User_5e5670a6
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                                          User_5e5670a6
                                          OP
                                          March 12, 2025 at 4:15 am
                                          Thank you! Changing names in gazette is always an option, but I was curious if the child can take my wife’s surname by birth. Are there any legal technicalities that may be a reason for regret?

                                          • #37157 Reply
                                            Happykunal9581
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                                              Happykunal9581
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                                              March 12, 2025 at 4:23 am
                                              See, on the birth certificate, the childs name along with mothers and and fathers name will be displayed, they won’t allot your surname to the child, but it’s done by default. All you have to do is make a gazette entry about this. This won’t cause you any legal trouble as one is free to name themselves whatever they want.

                                              The only issue you’ll face is when you apply for her passport, because during the passport application (only in tatkal I believe), they input your name and your parents names as per your birth certificate.

                                              Other than that you have zero issues legally.

                                              • #37171 Reply
                                                User_5e5670a6
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                                                  User_5e5670a6
                                                  OP
                                                  March 12, 2025 at 4:25 am
                                                  Thank you so much, all of this is helpful!

                                          • #37131 Reply
                                            Divyaseeker610
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                                              Divyaseeker610
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                                              March 12, 2025 at 3:50 am
                                              Thanks for posting. I’m also looking for the same answers.

                                            • #37130 Reply
                                              User_a6b8d36e
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                                                User_a6b8d36e
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                                                March 12, 2025 at 4:00 am
                                                Whatever name you fill out on the birth certificate will be the legal name. Doesn’t matter what surname or middle name you use.

                                                You can even leave the name on the birth certificate empty if you haven’t decided yet. You can always update it later once you have decided on a name.

                                                • #37142 Reply
                                                  User_5e5670a6
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                                                    User_5e5670a6
                                                    OP
                                                    March 12, 2025 at 4:14 am
                                                    Thank you, that’s helpful. So legally, you just enter the first name on birth certificate. Does it mean that the child’s name gets father’s surname by default? As in there’s no legal provision in India for the child to have mother’s surname by birth?

                                                    • #37156 Reply
                                                      User_a6b8d36e
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                                                        User_a6b8d36e
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                                                        March 12, 2025 at 4:20 am
                                                        My recommendation is that you decide on a full formal name and then fill up the birth certificate. I’m not sure but if you fill just the first name, then they might just append the father’s last name.

                                                        Has the name been decided and have you filled up the birth certificate?

                                                        • #37170 Reply
                                                          User_5e5670a6
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                                                            User_5e5670a6
                                                            OP
                                                            March 12, 2025 at 4:21 am
                                                            Perfect! Yes, we have decided the name but haven’t filled the birth certificate.

                                                            • #37180 Reply
                                                              User_a6b8d36e
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                                                                User_a6b8d36e
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                                                                March 12, 2025 at 4:23 am
                                                                Excellent. Then just fill up the birth certificate with the full decided name. That will be the legal name of the child for life. Unless of course the child after turning major decides to change their name.

                                                                • #37184 Reply
                                                                  User_5e5670a6
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                                                                    User_5e5670a6
                                                                    OP
                                                                    March 12, 2025 at 4:24 am
                                                                    Thank you so much, really appreciate your help! Your answer will also help other couples wanting to make a similar decision.

                                                            • #37155 Reply
                                                              Rapidninja937
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                                                                Rapidninja937
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                                                                March 12, 2025 at 6:43 am
                                                                # Why?

                                                                Figure out their gender neutral progressive pronouns too?

                                                              • #37154 Reply
                                                                Pragatirider881
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                                                                  Pragatirider881
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                                                                  March 12, 2025 at 6:51 am
                                                                  By default people do whatever is the norm in their own community. I’ve had idiots at a couple of banks add my fathers name or initials to my name despite having my proper name filled out as per my documents. Don’t leave any ambiguity please. Fill the full name, or don’t fill anything and update it later.

                                                                  • #37169 Reply
                                                                    User_5e5670a6
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                                                                      User_5e5670a6
                                                                      OP
                                                                      March 12, 2025 at 7:07 am
                                                                      Good point in making sure there’s no ambiguity! India has a long way to go when it comes to revamping such systems. Not too long ago, the Indian passport was much harder to make without a husband/father’s name, making things much harder for children who are orphans or do not know their father. Today it’s much simpler to make Indian passport in such situations. I hope we continue to improve our systems and make them more inclusive.

                                                              • #37129 Reply
                                                                Karanshark492
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                                                                  Karanshark492
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                                                                  March 12, 2025 at 4:08 am
                                                                  Usage of middle name complicates things when it comes to passport, PAN etc.

                                                                  Keep it simple and universal with firstName lastName format.

                                                                  • #37141 Reply
                                                                    User_5e5670a6
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                                                                      User_5e5670a6
                                                                      OP
                                                                      March 12, 2025 at 4:10 am
                                                                      That’s a great suggestion! Would keeping the middle name empty create any issues?

                                                                      • #37153 Reply
                                                                        Karanshark492
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                                                                          Karanshark492
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                                                                          March 12, 2025 at 6:23 am
                                                                          Full disclosure: I speak from a painful experience of having to deal with my name which was not straightforward and in standard format. You can take my words at face value because I know the true pitfalls.

                                                                          1. Absence of middle names creates no issues. Infact it makes things easier. That is the best case scenario. Do not include any “initials” either. Because PAN doesn’t accept initials when it comes at the beginning of the name or the ending of the name. Like J Ryan Carter or Ryan Carter J

                                                                          FirstName LastName is gold standard, so just go with only that.

                                                                          2. I think you must know, there is no concept of middle name in Indian passport. i.e. first name + middle name is combined together to form “Given name” in Indian passport, which gets converted to “first name” when your kid moves abroad.

                                                                          Let’s assume “Ryan Jacob Carter” is your kid’s name.

                                                                          Ryan is first name
                                                                          Jacob is middle name
                                                                          Carter is last name.

                                                                          Indian Passport will say
                                                                          given name: Ryan Jacob
                                                                          Last name: Carter

                                                                          When your kid moves abroad, their first name will become : Ryan Jacob , which will simply complicate things, cause confusion and also not look nice.

                                                                          People will wonder whether to call your kid Ryan or Jacob.

                                                                          Identity crisis for the kid as well. I have seen this happen with a friend here in India who has two names as first name, so this claim is not baseless.

                                                                          If the middle name ends up being easier on the tongue for either Indians or foreigners then your kid will be known by middle name forever, which is worse.

                                                                          Final suggestion from a mid 30s man who has seen enough suffering because of name: please keep only FirstName LastName. Keep firstname very simple. It’s very tempting to have fancy names but in the era of globalisation, if your kids name is very easy to pronounce for people of most nationalities then you would have done your kid proud.

                                                                          If you have any more questions, feel free to ask.

                                                                          • #37168 Reply
                                                                            User_5e5670a6
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                                                                              User_5e5670a6
                                                                              OP
                                                                              March 12, 2025 at 6:41 am
                                                                              Thank you for the detailed answer! I can relate with issues you discussed, as both me and my wife studied in the US and worked for a bit before moving to India. Indeed, having middle name is also a bit complicated if you forget to add it when booking international tickets (you have to rebook the entire flight without refunds). Nothing that can’t be managed but can be confusing sometimes!

                                                                            • #37167 Reply
                                                                              Hiteshmaster783
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                                                                                Hiteshmaster783
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                                                                                March 12, 2025 at 6:48 am
                                                                                Are you saying people in developed countries don’t have a middle name ? How do they handle this ?

                                                                                • #37179 Reply
                                                                                  Subhashshark164
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                                                                                    Subhashshark164
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                                                                                    March 12, 2025 at 8:54 am
                                                                                    Nah they’re just wrong almost all of them have a middle name.

                                                                                  • #37178 Reply
                                                                                    User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                      User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                      March 12, 2025 at 2:51 pm
                                                                                      There’s a lot of cultural diversity. Some people have middle names and some don’t (in developed countries). However, it’s interesting to note that middle name does not have to be the father’s name in most developed countries (it can be anything like the first name).

                                                                                      • #37183 Reply
                                                                                        Hiteshmaster783
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                                                                                          Hiteshmaster783
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                                                                                          March 12, 2025 at 2:52 pm
                                                                                          Middle name can be anything in India as well. Father’s name as middle name is only a Western India thing I think (MH, GJ)

                                                                                          • #37185 Reply
                                                                                            User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                              User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                              March 12, 2025 at 2:55 pm
                                                                                              Did not know that!

                                                                                      • #37166 Reply
                                                                                        Desimaster1634
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                                                                                          Desimaster1634
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                                                                                          March 12, 2025 at 7:56 am
                                                                                          I agree with 2nd point

                                                                                        • #37165 Reply
                                                                                          Subhashshark164
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                                                                                            Subhashshark164
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                                                                                            March 12, 2025 at 8:54 am
                                                                                            Almost all US natives have a middle name. You can give a preferred name in most forms.

                                                                                      • #37140 Reply
                                                                                        User_a6b8d36e
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                                                                                          User_a6b8d36e
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                                                                                          March 12, 2025 at 5:24 am
                                                                                          No, it doesn’t. My son has a middle name and we had no issues with neither for passport nor the Aadhaar card. The process was easy and seamless.

                                                                                          • #37152 Reply
                                                                                            User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                              User_5e5670a6
                                                                                              OP
                                                                                              March 12, 2025 at 5:56 am
                                                                                              Thank you!

                                                                                            • #37151 Reply
                                                                                              Karanshark492
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                                                                                                Karanshark492
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                                                                                                March 12, 2025 at 6:25 am
                                                                                                I’ve explained the issues under my original comment. Go through it.

                                                                                                • #37164 Reply
                                                                                                  User_a6b8d36e
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                                                                                                    User_a6b8d36e
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                                                                                                    March 12, 2025 at 6:43 am
                                                                                                    Went through it. Kinda agree. Sadly, I don’t have international experience.

                                                                                                    • #37177 Reply
                                                                                                      User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                        User_5e5670a6
                                                                                                        OP
                                                                                                        March 12, 2025 at 7:13 am
                                                                                                        There are plenty of people with middle names who study and work internationally without major issues, but sometimes there’s a confusion.

                                                                                                  • #37150 Reply
                                                                                                    Smartseeker6440
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                                                                                                      Smartseeker6440
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                                                                                                      March 12, 2025 at 10:34 am
                                                                                                      Exceptions aren’t the norm.

                                                                                                      Having a middle name or a different surname from an expected one creates issues.

                                                                                                • #37128 Reply
                                                                                                  Anishthinker951
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                                                                                                    Anishthinker951
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                                                                                                    March 12, 2025 at 4:11 am
                                                                                                    I am curious about the middle name. Its interesting but god please don’t f up.

                                                                                                  • #37127 Reply
                                                                                                    Alphabro5700
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                                                                                                      Alphabro5700
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                                                                                                      March 12, 2025 at 4:36 am
                                                                                                      First Name + Non-caste Last name

                                                                                                    • #37126 Reply
                                                                                                      Mightytiger4160
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                                                                                                        Mightytiger4160
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                                                                                                        March 12, 2025 at 6:21 am
                                                                                                        Congratulations.

                                                                                                        I may be wrong, but why invite all the inconveniences for your daughter in the future with changing the name as per your/spouse’s wish?
                                                                                                        If your daughter wants to, she can do it legally when she is an adult.

                                                                                                      • #37125 Reply
                                                                                                        Cleversajal8453
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                                                                                                          Cleversajal8453
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                                                                                                          March 12, 2025 at 6:32 am
                                                                                                          No legal bar as such, but a lot of small headaches in the future.

                                                                                                          • #37139 Reply
                                                                                                            Smartseeker6440
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                                                                                                              Smartseeker6440
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                                                                                                              March 12, 2025 at 10:32 am
                                                                                                              I sometimes think the idea of numbers ain’t wrong.

                                                                                                              Human beings are so bad, and they fight so much.

                                                                                                              They want traditional and modern things together.

                                                                                                          • #37124 Reply
                                                                                                            Rishiseeker532
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                                                                                                              Rishiseeker532
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                                                                                                              March 12, 2025 at 6:58 am
                                                                                                              Good decision. One of my friend got divorced and had a lot of problems changing her sons name back to hers.

                                                                                                            • #37123 Reply
                                                                                                              Silentthinker3482
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                                                                                                                Silentthinker3482
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                                                                                                                March 12, 2025 at 7:02 am
                                                                                                                Just curious, your son has your last name, and you want your daughter to take her mother’s last name? Is that how you’re planning?

                                                                                                                • #37138 Reply
                                                                                                                  User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                    User_5e5670a6
                                                                                                                    OP
                                                                                                                    March 12, 2025 at 7:36 am
                                                                                                                    This is our first child – we planned on giving our child the mother’s last name irrespective of whether it’s a boy or girl.

                                                                                                                • #37122 Reply
                                                                                                                  Smritipanther716
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                                                                                                                    Smritipanther716
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                                                                                                                    March 12, 2025 at 8:05 am
                                                                                                                    In some cultures, children do take their mother’s surname

                                                                                                                    • #37137 Reply
                                                                                                                      Primedude3191
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                                                                                                                        Primedude3191
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                                                                                                                        March 12, 2025 at 8:42 am
                                                                                                                        In which culture?

                                                                                                                        • #37149 Reply
                                                                                                                          User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                            User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                            March 12, 2025 at 1:58 pm
                                                                                                                            True, there are matrilineal communities around the world, but have much smaller numbers as compared to patrilineal ones.

                                                                                                                            • #37163 Reply
                                                                                                                              Primedude3191
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                                                                                                                                Primedude3191
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                                                                                                                                March 12, 2025 at 4:01 pm
                                                                                                                                I have never heard of such cultures. Fascinating. Do you belong to a similar culture op? Otherwise men start to fight if a woman expresses she wants her kids named after her.

                                                                                                                                • #37176 Reply
                                                                                                                                  User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                                    User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                                    March 12, 2025 at 4:15 pm
                                                                                                                                    Indeed, the diversity of cultures is very interesting. We don’t belong to a traditionally matrilineal culture, we are both from Maharashtra where it is typical for the kid’s middle name to be father’s first name and kid’s last name is father’s last name. It’s unfortunate that some men resist changing this tradition. Societies are slow to change especially when it comes to these things. Our social circle and parents were very happy when we made this decision.

                                                                                                                                    • #37182 Reply
                                                                                                                                      Primedude3191
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                                                                                                                                        Primedude3191
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                                                                                                                                        March 12, 2025 at 4:21 pm
                                                                                                                                        Wow hats off to your parents as well. I wish someday I’ll too see next gens making such decisions. Many congratulations for your baby 🎉

                                                                                                                            • #37121 Reply
                                                                                                                              Rajivtiger585
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                                                                                                                                Rajivtiger585
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                                                                                                                                March 12, 2025 at 11:23 am
                                                                                                                                Your child’s name can be whatever you’d like. Congrats on progressive thinking.

                                                                                                                                • #37136 Reply
                                                                                                                                  User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                                    User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                                    March 12, 2025 at 2:04 pm
                                                                                                                                    Thank you! Both me and my wife have nice and short surnames that we love, but if inconsistency was ever an issue, I would be more than happy to change my surname to my wife’s surname.

                                                                                                                                  • #37135 Reply
                                                                                                                                    User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                                      User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                                      March 12, 2025 at 2:40 pm
                                                                                                                                      Thank you! Both me and my wife have nice and short surnames that we love, but if there ever arises inconsistency issues (for our child) just because society/systems are not used to seeing such a choice exercised, I am happy to change my surname to my wife’s surname.

                                                                                                                                  • #37120 Reply
                                                                                                                                    User_f329d3da
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                                                                                                                                      User_f329d3da
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                                                                                                                                      March 12, 2025 at 3:50 pm
                                                                                                                                      I have two kids.. First one has my name as surname.. Second one has my wife’s name as surname.. No legal issues.. Names don’t have any binding laws as such

                                                                                                                                      • #37134 Reply
                                                                                                                                        User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                                          User_5e5670a6
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                                                                                                                                          March 12, 2025 at 3:55 pm
                                                                                                                                          Thank you for sharing your experience!
                                                                                                                                          Did you have to follow any different procedure for your second child (for example adding to gazette etc)? Does the birth certificate mention the full name of the child?

                                                                                                                                          • #37148 Reply
                                                                                                                                            User_f329d3da
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                                                                                                                                              User_f329d3da
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                                                                                                                                              March 12, 2025 at 5:00 pm
                                                                                                                                              Birth certificate itself. We chose names pretty early during pregnancy so it wasn’t a problem…

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                                                                                                                                                  March 12, 2025 at 5:44 pm
                                                                                                                                                  Thank you so much!

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                                                                                                                                        Reply To: Reply #37164 in What if I want my kids to take my wife’s surname and a neutral middle name?
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