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UI am 34M, married to my wife 33F last year in feb. I wasn’t fully aware of this before wedding but she seems to have anger issues. One night when we both were drinking, she got very angry and fought about why i asked her to pay half in our wedding. We split all expenses in our wedding equally. Suddenly she was on top of me and started slapping me for 4- 5 times. I was utterly shocked. I didn’t know what to do so i went in washroom for sometime. She also broke glass. This is 8 months old incident. Since then she has been fighting over very small issues and i am ignoring as breaking marriage is not easy thing to do. She has embarrassed me in front of my friends too. I am very sad that I’m living with same woman with no fault of mine. Somehow she also manages to put all blames on me and now I’m confused if it is is my fault. Is it healthy to stay in this relationship? It is also affecting my work, I’m sole earner in my family and she doesn’t seem to care at all about financials and peace at home. Please advise. I’m also very much worried what happens if we decides to separate knowing indian laws. Can someone guide me what are my options legally ?
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UBro! DON’T DO ANYTHING WRONG! . Just consult an expert lawyer who has represented men in such divorce cases, then collect as much evidence as possible with legal means as suggested by the lawyer. Then let some time pass. You will have collected a lot of evidence by then. If problem gets worse, then either ur wife might do something or you can do as per the advice of lawyer. If problem remains more or less same or slightly gets better, try to think of other ways of solving the issue like therapy for her anger issues. As more time passes you will get clarity about what is the right step. BUT DON’T FORGET TO TALK TO LAWYER AND COLLECT AS MUCH EVIDENCE AS YOU CAN. And also, don’t take major decisions like having kids with her until there is clarity about what is the future of this relationship. I suggest waiting a couple of years. All the best.
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UDivorce her right now. Dont wait. You only live once. Ask yourself- do you see yourself spending the rest of your life and have kids with such an unstable woman? You should not settle for her just because the Indian society norms make it “weird” to divorce. If you decide to waste your life with a woman like her, you will never be truly happy and at peace. You deserve better. Dont give a FUCK about what your family or others think. This is your life.
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UAdvocate here. You can file for divorce on grounds of mental and physical cruelty, if that is something you wish to do. For your sake and hers, do not get her pregnant. Keep records of how much money you give her monthly for her expenses (for alimony purposes), document any injuries you have received, keep records of your text conversations, emails, etc. Install cameras in public areas of your house and back up the recording. Take photos of your injuries when she hits you and record your fights. Visit the doctor and get your injuries shown to get medical proof that you were assaulted. Also keep records (if possible) of how much your wife earns monthly. If you have a joint account you both contribute you, keep records of her contribution and yours.
Your wife is abusive and there is no telling how she would react to a suggestion of divorce by mutual consent (which is way faster and more amicable), she may go ahead and file cases against your family and you. As far as possible, ensure you have a witness to your conversations (househelp, parents, etc.).
You may also be able to prove your wife is alcoholic, or acts cruelly under influence of alcohol, so keep records of her consumption and stop drinking w your wife in the meantime. Collect all evidence of your marriage expenses to prove that you split the wedding costs evenly. I hope for your sake no dowry demand was made by your parents. Keep note of where she keeps her stridhan (Given at time of marriage). Make sure your parents have not kept her stridhan.
Also, while you take these steps to protect yourself legally, try to go to marriage counselling and try talking to a neutral third party. This has two advantages – first, it may resolve your issues. Second, even if the counselling doesn’t work out, you have proof that you tried to save your marriage and that there were issues in your marriage. Remember, there is no patient confidentiality if this counselling is done by a friend or relatives, but make sure they are neutral.
Do not throw her out of the house, she has rights over the matrimonial residence, and this may go against you in court. On the side, start saving up money to hire a good divorce lawyer because that stuff is expensive. Do not hide anything from your lawyer, you have advocate-client confidentiality.
Lastly, if the abuse is violent, do not shy away from going to the police to lodge a complaint. Assault laws in India are gender neutral. Take a lawyer with you incase the police refuses to lodge your complaint.
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UI am so sorry to hear about your situation. Do you see her wanting to take any accountability? I would recommend family therapy sessions to also establish records of you trying to resolve this issue in all possible ways. In most cases, you would be sent for family therapy anyway this will just help you establish your case better and who knows, if in therapy she’s able to recognize and take accountability for her actions.
Hope things get better for you soon. -
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UI don’t know the law or procedure, and I don’t know if you have some ways to protect your assets in lieu of the abuse front (please do check that), but do safeguard your assets now itself or else in the process of divorce (only, if you are proceeding some day in that direction) you could lose half of your assets and savings. Considering her abusive behaviour she will fight for your money if and when the chance comes.
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UHere is my advice, record record record- voice and camera both. Do it secretly.
DO NOT GET HER PREGNANT!!!!!!!!! If push comes to shove, you can always file for divorce and use the recordings, rather than waiting for her to put false harassment charges on you.
I hate it when folks have to go through all this. But this is real, and we see tons of cases like these. It always follows the same pattern- she will hold on to an issue that involves ‘injustice’ to get parents by your parents, then grill that issue, then distance you from your family, then have children, the unhappy life takes full root and the man is miserable.
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UDont take any steps anything or any complaint will bite you on your ass not only you your family also will be dragged n legal matter consult a good family lawyer what steps you can take indian laws wise you can’t do squat no dv case can be for you so tread very carefully and don’t let her know all of these that you are consulting the lawyers and all and try to understand reason for her anger and resentment towards you and i hope you talk it out and be happy ( very unlikely) but i hope . Take care man
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UCruelty is a ground for divorce under Section 13 of the Hindu Marriage Act. Cruelty by either spouse is accepted. Please send a legal notice to your wife listing this as a ground. The lawyer will advise you to add more grounds. Proceed with the divorce- 6 months of court mandated conjugation and then you can proceed with the divorce proceedings. Courts usually do not create much hassle if you don’t have children.
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UWell we don’t know if you’ve done anything to pull the beast out of her.. but assuming you haven’t and she’s just mentally unstable with anger well… maybe she truthfully didn’t want to get married or maybe it wasn’t like she visualized…
But if she’s doing that and doesn’t seek help then file for a divorce… it could work. If not and she doesn’t want to then leave. Find someone who WON’T get physical
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UShe slapped u becaue someone behind ur back played the card where u r liable to everything whether its the blame money aggression n being punching bag as her emotional release
Her mother or her friends must countable for this behaviour
Didnt u see this before marrying her what were u thinking how much life gonna beautiful with her n sex ll be abundant common man
Married too fast bruv
Its better to move out
Sell the house
Move to new state if ur an owner of business it better to have restrainting order over her before he harms u direly
Take officer on ur side without her knowing
Keep two phones one as backup
Record her actions n voice
Lastly ask her if she wants to continue as wife or not in front of everyone as an intervention
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UWhat ever you do, do not have kids with such a toxic person, she will try to get pregnant, so that you stay stuck in marriage with her, I am speaking from experience, I have been in your place. Better to tell her to go back to her family and you stay with yours and file for divorce immediately. Remember things like this will not get better after kids, also she is gas lighting you by blaming you for her actions. The more you stay in such a relationship you will develop Stockholm syndrome being in love with her and trying to please the abuser so that you can have peace in the house.
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UI don’t know the laws are in India, but please be careful and build a strong case. Consult a divorce attorney because this is abuse and you should never be inclined to stay in an abusive relationship. The longer you stay with this woman the longer you will regret not leaving her. You don’t know how much more she is capable of.
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DLol..ur unaware of the woman power in india. No man can be a man in indian court of law, if he is married to a woman…
See the proof in form.of small videos explained by this lawyer
https://www.instagram.com/viknagwanBasically the law snatches your manhood in the name of justice
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UConsult a lawyer and begin divorce proceedings. Why the heck are you asking internet strangers? You can’t live with an abusive partner, but we can’t guide you towards the right way to leave since we don’t know how entangled your lives and finances are. Tell your lawyer everything and find the safest way to leave. Protect yourself as best as you can.
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DThis can result into marital rape case… Girls can complain of forced sex during periods – physical violence category
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UPlease divorce before you have kids – then it gets very very complicated. Respect is the most important thing – if she doesn’t know how to resolved issues sensibly – this will continue for the rest of marriage.
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DIndian women have now become the worst in the entire universe, even philippinos have more respect for their husbands!!
desi girls= Entitled whores!
See
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2zt2mKyR9d/https://www.instagram.com/reel/DDUgW5ViK5m/
For help you can see
Advocate Vikas Nagwan
https://www.instagram.com/viknagwan
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