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UI was in relationship with my ex boyfriend for 5 years. And I spent almost 5 lakhs rupees on him. Sent 3 lakhs as cash (sent as 25k, 10k payments whenever he asked me money) and the rest as gifts.
I only have bank transaction of 3L that i spent on him for the rest of the money, I dont have bills. I ended the relationship 2 years ago and have been asking him to send me back the money he got from me as cash atleast if he has shame, and he refused to pay me back saying i sent them as gifts on my own. And I did not give on my own, he used to tell me that he has money issues and unable to handle budget on his own and ask me to help him. I was no naive and blinded by love, I sent him money like a stupid girl everytime he asked.
Is there any way that I can get the money back?
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RIt’s going to be tricky,
whatever you provided while in relationship can be considered as gifts without any clawback.
You can lawyer up and send notice but legal remedy is difficult. You can name and shame him online and offline, but going by your post it seems he’ll hardly care unless he’s with some new sugar mommy(according to him) giving him same gift benefits(he’ll fear getting exposed in her eyes).-
Uthank you! I dont want to name and shame him, since he is pretty shameless and I dont have the energy/will to do that.
I am so angry but i was also so stupid. i need to swallow this hard pill and move on.
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PSwallow the hard pill and move on. Blinded by love whatever you did will be considered a part of the relationship without any reason for payback unless such claims or promises were made. But never hurts to keep sending him.daily reminders for payment. Don’t send it yourself, Automate it so you don’t get entangled with him on an emotional grounds on a daily basis.
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Uus for real. you spent way more than i did but he took, mind you TOOk 50k away from me. bro stole my phone ran away and i had 40k in my bank acc, iwas a college student. it was all of my savings since a child. i never let my balance go below 40. he took it away and literally ran off bruh im not even lying n my college is humongous and i did run as fast as i could but fucker was a monkey he was JUMPING off walls and shit bro and then eventually i lost his stealing ass and he knew all of my passwords everything ofc, and transferred the money to himself. when he returned, he’s like if you tell anyone ab this they won’t believe you bec ur parents don’t trust you (i had told him before sensitive vulnerable information about me and he’d use it against me) and i’ll just tell people that i gave you cash but you’re such a nic addict you spent all of it on vapes and cigarettes and blah blee. he also stole my pink polaroid 11 camera bruh that shit was like 12k the entire set. bro would manipulate and gaslight me so much yaar. he told me ki if you give this to me i’ll be ensured ki you want to continue this relationship… some fucking bullshit he told me bruh. HE EVEN like i gave it literally outside my hostel and there’s a huge ass cctv camera udhar, and like ofc within a few days fucker fought w me and hes obviously removed me from his life and im like hello??? leave me fone but give me back my camera it’s a gift from my nani please ye wo blah blee
and bro is like, ___, what camera? what are you talking about ____? are you just making up lies now to make me look like the bad person? your mother trusts me. she’ll know that you’re just lying. (underline is my name)
bro this guy PROBABLY SOLD MY CAMERA bro omg it was brand new aaaaaaaaa.
anyhoo. no matter what i did i never got the money back. i even had one day ofc eventually tell my parents about it. bec where did 40k go? a student in 3rd year? he still did not budge. even after my mom asked him. sigh. pathetic. he made me miss my exams. he ruined my life a lot. but touchwood im doing better now. i’m happy ^_^
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UI am sorry this happened to you girl! Honestly, I cannot stand the gaslighting when i ask for money back, when he acts like nothing happened at all. I feel you. And glad that you are better now. Some of the traumas teaches us life lessons in hard way
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Uon god. i was so mentally physically and emotionally scarred for two years. i actually cannot explain how bad it was. but indeed time heals. you learn from your mistakes. sure you’re way more cautious than before and you’re scared, but in the end, i think it’s for the best. anyhoo, 50k ain’t shit compared to 5L ma’am. all of my condolences to you. i hope you can earn it back soon. all we can do is wait and wish for karma to bite their asses. take care queen
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UNahh, i dont think the amount of money matters.. it’s the BS and trauma that we have to go through when we realise that we have been played all along 🙁
I am not able to sleep well these days because of this issue even tho I forgot about it and him. I recently encountered his post on social media and the fucker went to cold play concert with his new girlfriend, it triggered me -
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EAssume that the money is gone, but make it a fun activity to bug him every few days.
He has probably moved on to a new ATM girlfriend now.
He is very unlikely to get out of the habit of mismanaging money and will eternally be asking for it from others… Consider this as tution fee for a valuable life lesson.
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UHello op. Consider it as a costly lesson. I lost around 8.8L in the same way. When she left, I had nothing in my bank account. It took time for me to be back on my feet. Take a lesson, and never repeat such things again.
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BAah, you had a hard time in love. Probably won’t trust another person any time soon, especially in terms of money.
Don’t be like that, much. This will affect future relationships. Understand that relationships can be expensive sometimes. The only time its not is if both are poor.(kharcha karna option nahi hai)😌
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EYou should’ve posted changing your gender to see the actual suggestions. Men here would mock you once they get to know you’re a female.
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CSince these were personal transactions there isn’t much you can do. It will be hard to prove in court. Such persons will tell lies in court also.
You can consult a lawyer and file false cases under harsh laws. Basically the lawyer will ask to tell a fake story that the boyfriend raped you and extorted money from you by blackmail. In such cases, police will definitely arrest him.
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UI don’t want to do anything immoral. I wanted to check if just with the bank statements and some screenshots if I can get the money back. I don’t think it’s possible unless I have false allegations
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