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P35 (F) here. I could’ve never imagined a day, I’m in shock. What was meant to be a calm conversation between me and the in-laws transpired into a full blown verbal abuse.
During this conversation, my father in law came forward multiple times like he intended to hit me physically (my husband and his mother had to stop him) as well as verbally abusive the entire time. All this happened with my young kids watching and in a private restaurant (there’s CCTV cameras).
He had also had a few drinks over dinner..nevertheless shocking behaviour with any woman let alone his own daughter in law. It is known for him to be openly abusive and aggressive towards people, including towards myself in the past however the family brushed it aside and never talked about or acknowledged because it was in the house and no one could’ve known unless I blabbed. Ive let it slide and I regret this.
I’m still in shock by this incident but I’d like to know if there’s anything I can do about it for my own safety going forward.
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SAsk that restaurant to provide CCTV footage just in case
Confront your husband for not supporting you and consider Divorce as an option if he refused to acknowledge his mistake
Your father in law could’ve unalived (k//) you so don’t take this lightly and file DA case if your husband ends up doing nothing to ensure your safety
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PI’m going to request for CCTV footage. Is there a possibility that I can get a restraining order against him for this incident? He is a retired Superintendent of Police so he thinks he can say or do as he wishes.
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SThough he didn’t end up doing anything physical, he did show his intent to unalive you which would be enough for you to get a restraining order against him
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DIt’s time of stand up for yourself and teach your FIL a lesson!! Firstly file a police complaint (CCTV), take a divorce (i don’t think such a husband is worth it if he has let this abuse happen multiple times already), go back to your parents for now, they will help you heal emotionally and financially (if needed) and then figure out how what to do next
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MComments here have addressed letting the husband go. Fair enough.
In case you don’t — is moving out with your husband an option for you? Would that be enough of a physical barrier? Could you limit the amount of time you all would spend together? Moving out could also mean you don’t have to see him again. Of course all this works only if your husband can live up to his word.
Consider talking to your children about this ordeal or putting them in therapy for sometime. Let them know this isn’t normal behaviour and they shouldn’t excuse it. Please talk about it and don’t just ignore it.
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SHey, I’m so sorry you had to go through something like this—it’s absolutely heartbreaking, and no one deserves to be treated that way, especially not in front of their children. Your shock is completely valid, and I genuinely hope you’re surrounded by people who are supporting you emotionally right now.
From a legal standpoint, what your father-in-law did is not only morally reprehensible but may also be criminally actionable—especially given the verbal threats to your life and the potential intent to physically harm you. The presence of your children makes it even more serious, as such trauma can have lasting effects on them too.
Since this happened in a public place with CCTV coverage, you actually have a rare opportunity to back your statements with real evidence—something that’s unfortunately missing in many domestic abuse cases. The fact that this is not a one-time incident but part of a continuing pattern only strengthens your position.
For your own safety and peace of mind, the first step could be filing a formal police complaint and preserving the CCTV footage. Depending on how things go, legal protection under the Domestic Violence Act may also be an option, where you can seek restraining orders and ensure your rights and your kids’ safety are secured.
If you feel overwhelmed navigating this alone, you don’t have to. I’ve worked with women in similar situations, and I can help guide you through every step of the legal process—calmly, privately, and with compassion. You’re not overreacting—you’re standing up for yourself and your children.
Please don’t let this slide. You deserve better. If you ever need help, feel free to reach out.
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