- This topic has 65 replies, 49 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 5 months ago by
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URecently i was engaged which was forcefully by both side. I gave both side a term that i wont keep bride with me. She will be living at my home and I’ll live in the city where i work, I actually didn’t want to marry this girl. But both sides are okay with it my family and girls family, i have recording of all the talk. Is there any provision in law that i have to keep bride with me all the time? What are the challenges im going to face (legally) in my life ? Girl is also ready to live separately.
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Uit will backfire fs , i mean for how long u gonna continue like this ??? what if one of u cheats?? what’s the point of this marriage
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Unooo it is one of the biggest concern , imagine u r married but not getting the physical intimacy ofc there will be some sort of adultery involved
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JWtf kind of arrangement is this. Learn to be an adult and stand for yourself.
To answer your question, law does not mandate anything as such. But if there is a problem tomorrow, her family can blame you for cruelty as you are actively discouraging your wife from staying with you
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UI can’t help, I don’t want to do this but it all about family pressure and I can’t do anything about it. I’m well educated, i have done my bachelor’s and masters from an institution which is called institute of national importance. I’m working, I’m doing what i wanted to do but i come under handicapped category(for society) if someone will see me physically they won’t find anything wrong in me even sometimes people can’t find what is the problem in me, problem is that when i wanted to marry anyone I liked and thought this could be best match, someone from my village visit the girls family and say so many wrong thing and girl family reject the everything without giving second thought. Somewhere my family thought that i am not gonna be married because of society. And this happened i said at-least 1000 times that I won’t marry this girl, i said to girls family and my own family but no body listen. Now they are saying that we are okay with the fact that you don’t live together. Girl is not educated enough to work anywhere which is okay for me but if i see 100 things in her and try to find one positive thing, I can’t find a single positive thing in her. There is no body who can listen to me.
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DThis is exactly the problem and dhats why he asked u to grow a spine and stand for yourself.. Don’t let that someone or group of someone’s to visit the girls family. Tell them u found someone and u are gonna marry her as long as u have her consent and that’s that. And remember u are not the only victim here, the girl is too
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DThey are just agreeing to whatever you have to say right now. Get married once and see them twist their words. Once you are married you have no other choice but to do what they say. Or she can accuse you of mistreating her and get a hefty compensation from court. Don’t marry if you don’t want to live together. Why ruin your life for your family. If you are financially stable, just move out of the house and tell them to not meddle with your life.
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WSomebody who cannot even seriously say “no” to their parents is unqualified for marriage or for that matter to pursue a romantic relationship. You are just whining like a 4 year old at this point.
Learn to refuse. You are not financially dependent on them, so, what’s the worst that can happen? They will disown you? Then let them disown you. Will they try emotional blackmail and threaten to hang themselves? Then, offer to buy them rope.
Toxic people should be purged from your life even if they are your own parents, siblings or relatives. No need to be ruining your life and that of others by trying to please those around you.
As your original question, your wife can charge you with marital cruelty and seek divorce. You will have to pay maintenance to her for the rest of your life i.e. unless she remarries.
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VLife is not about whether laws allows you or not. You are going to ruin many life’s with this approach including yours.
Marital rape is not a recognized crime in India. Slavery was legally allowed at some point.
Either have the courage to stand up to your parents or suck up and live a arranged marriage life that most of our parents have done.
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PIt’s not a marriage if both of you don’t live together. What you are proposing is a meaningless and purposeless arrangement.
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USo basically your parents want a maid, helper cook etc. who they don’t have to pay. And the girl’s parents are too eager to rid of her that they don’t even care about her long-term happiness. And the girl is resigned to her fate, or she hopes things will change in the future. Simply refuse to marry and go NC with your parents or anyone else if they don’t shut up about it.
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UI don’t think there exists such laws.
Just check this podcast.
[https://open.spotify.com/episode/4zSUWviVVDn9egXsqoKPBh?si=b409f48aa59c485a](https://open.spotify.com/episode/4zSUWviVVDn9egXsqoKPBh?si=b409f48aa59c485a) -
UThey are gonna say yes for everything now, once they are done marrying off then they will start with the actual torture.
Better late than never have a clear stand or accept your fate and don’t spoil eachothers life and live in lifelong trauma.-
UWhat if they are ready to sign an affidavit accepting all this? They are agree to do this as i know. I don’t know why ME. i have done badtamizee and all to make them run away but only thing they are saying that engagement is done we can’t backoff.
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SAre you retarded? Sign an affidavit? Affidavits and prenups are an imagination of fools who are unfamiliar with Indias legal system. Court will dismiss it in a jiffy. They will say that you have pressured them and threatened their life to sign the affidavit, and you will be screwed. No Court will honor the affidavit. The person above has given valid advice. Think it through.
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UMy 4 hours of everyday goes in this matter to solve it and resolve it to take it to a place where both party can agree to not to take it further.
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UWould recommend you to visit a divorce lawyer and tell your situation and plans. He’ll explain everything to you and then you’ll have clarity and you can decide.
Speak with your parents and her parents and convey your disagreement. Keeping quite now will not result in anything.
No one will take your side later and you’ll be declared culprit.
Act now or there’s no turning back from this and things will keep on getting uglier for everyone involved in this. -
PAffidavit can be challenged on several grounds.. It is a weak document bro, silly to go this route.
Also, as everyone is saying, the matter will become more complex legally if you go ahead with the marriage. The woman is easily swayed. So, she can say she is being tortured at in laws home, husband has abandoned her (which will be true) and put several cases on you.
Better to hear parents’ gaali now than take a lifetime of court cases and stress.
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UAffidavits needs to be done very meticulously.
And what you are suggesting might take very serious turn.
If your then wife files case against you for cruelty and torture, mental harrasment, not fulfilling husbands duty by keeping her away, it will be too much of the headache to deal with.
These things are not to be taken lightly, legal system is very very different when marriage is involved and they will take side of your wife and if they are well connected with money then you are doomed.
Better straighten up yourself and stay happily married or don’t marry at all unless you are prepared.
Going by you statement you currently seem on the wrong side already.Note: I’m not lawyer, but have seen enough such situations coz my dad gets called for meditate situations.
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HYou’re an adult, not a child in a forced marriage. If both families and the bride agree, there’s no legal obligation for you to live together. Just make sure everything is documented clearly. But be prepared for social backlash and potential complications later if things change.
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UI am doing anything to stop this but I can’t make you see why am helpless and you won’t believe until you see the real problem I’m facing right now. Please read reply in other comment to know more.
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BAre you a daily wage labourer who can’t afford a place of accommodation in city of your work for wife and future children? OR can’t afford to hire a maid for your parents?
If answer is no to above questions then its time for you to grow out of boyhood and be a man to stand for yourself first.
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UI wish i could so exactly what you have suggested to do in second paragraph. I will never want anyone to be in my situation at any cost.
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RLots of folks do it due to higher costs in bigger cities and more support in smaller towns villages back home.
So no legal issue in that.
But how this post marriage thing you’re planning will play out is a mess.
Will you not want love and or a partner; her or someone else?
How will you all live this out over years and decades?
Ponder
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UIn this marriage there will never be LOVE. I accept that I’m very sure that I won’t have any affair in my life but not sure about the girl.
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UAudio recording is not legally binding and living separate without meeting partner’s intercourse needs is ground for divorce. I feel bad for the girl who was bought in as free maid by your parents and sent away as a burden by her parents. And, you’re definitely handicap, you have no balls or spine. You ruined one life now and I’m sure you’ll have kids with her and ruin their life too. I hope she pulls out a Jolly Joseph Curry card on your family if she truly is the victim.
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CA forced Marriage under pressure from parents and in-laws is going to make both of you miserable. Think this one through before you make a half hearted commitment. What if the girl is already with someone she wants to marry? Her cheating on you later on would be a 100% justified if you both stay separate.
Your parents and other relatives would be disappointed for some time if you call this arrangement off. Its better then going ahead with this and turn everything into a soggy mess. If your future wife gets pregnant by someone else, you will have to bear both; the cost as well as guilt of raising the child.
Stick your neck out. Don’t put yourself into this position. Do it if you care about yourself and the future.
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UOnly option for you is not to get married. Doesn’t matter what you get signed from the bride and her family before marriage, it will be dismissed in court. Your wife and her family will then decide how much they can extort from you.
So, from the bottom of my heart and with all due respect, bsdk shaadi mat kar
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Ain an arranged marriage set up, if you as a man feels “oh so forced” to marry. I wonder how things are for the girl.
you think that she will have a say in how the husband (you) act? I hope she finds happiness in life.and you? learn a little empathy, you’re like a little kid who doesn’t understand how the world works. don’t ruin a woman’s life because you can’t a) honor a marriage and b) stand for what you want (i.e. not marrying)
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SMen be like marriage laws are lopsided and then do shit like this.
This is why alimony laws are required. If you didn’t intend to be an adult and consummate your marriage and be the husband you are required to be, why would you marry? You have no right to ruin a woman’s life like this. The girl isn’t educated and unfortunately didn’t have the means to stand up for herself.
What do you mean your family forced you? You have degrees, you are independent? Did they hypnotise and make you sign the papers/ take the pheras?
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Ubecause the girl side is not backing off and they are thinking that no one will marry that girl after calling off the engagement. Every day I say no I will never marry this girl. but the girl side is not backing off and they are forcing my family to do the same. my family has their ego about society and societal talks. I had my stand and I will have my stand to say no but there is family drama that scares me.
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SFirst, decide to walk out. Decide you HAVE to do that for your own sanity.
Talk to a lawyer. This is gonna be tricky. You would need evidence that you have not been involved in anything physical and also no gifts/ cash have been exchanged which could be perceived as dowry.
Think it like this, all the drama that would create would be short-term. But if you go ahead with the wedding, the drama will follow you ALL YOUR LIFE.
You are an adult and NO ONE else should take a decision on your behalf. I have been through this (I cancelled just before the engagement so it was a little simpler) and you are gonna be fine. Your parents will throw the worst fits, rona-dhona, emotional blackmail. But you gotta be firm. Abhi jhuk jaoge to puri zindagi jhukke rehna padega.
For emotional support, immediately start therapy. They can guide you through the stress and also give you tips on how to handle manipulation from your parents.
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UDid you marry a naukrani for your parents? If not, take her with you like a responsible husband. If you feel both sides pressured you to marry, build up your guts and cancel marriage ceremony ! Don’t ruin the girl’s life by throwing childish tantrums of not taking your future wife with you to where you work
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URun away. Change your number. Tell your parents that you’ll not pick their calls. Block their contact. Do any legal thing but don’t get married like this.
You’ll come to regret it. No affidavits, no video/audio recordings will work in front of the court. Your parents’ house will go, your half or one-third salary will go. Your investments will go.
Don’t fall into this. Stop talking to your parents.
Marry some girl from another state.
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