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UI was molested by my maternal uncle (he touched my chest and forced me to peck him on the lips and told me not to tell anyone and that we’ll do ‘this’ again) when I was 14. I immediately informed my mom who informed my grandparents and they basically comdemned and warned him from doing this again. My mom informed his wife about it and I even demonstrated what he did to me to her but she just dismissed it.So my family is not in contact with him anymore but my grandparents still maintain relations with him.
I am now 18 but even now thinking about it makes me feel depressed. I saw him again unfortunately and felt like I should have filed a complaint against, not only because he molested but also to prevent anyone else from becoming his victim. What should I do? I have no evidence except for a recording of my grandmother talking about it on the phone. Should I just file a complaint even if there is no guarantee of justice?
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CPlease look at therapy if you want to heal. Revenge or justice will not change the way you feel. Good
Luck-
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UPlease dont push these sort of narratives, filing a complaint when someone did bad isn’t revenge. Revenge would be if she gives him trauma of equal value, and she becomes liable to equal punishment that he deserves.
This would be justice, and yes it won’t take her trauma away, but will make her feel relieved and a bit powerful that nobody can just go ahead and mess with her which is the whole point of justice system being present.
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BIf you file complaint then your gand parents and aunt will come begging you to take it back not to ruin his future, emotional drama…
Even you file a complaint, the chapter will not close suddenly, you will have to see his face multiple times assuming few hearings and all, and that will trouble you more…
Sometimes “forgive and forget” is best justice, he will have to pay definitely for his sin sooner or later.
So you focus on other priorities like studies and job in your life…
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UHonestly I feel like all those hearing will be bearable if I know that in the end he will get what he deserves but I don’t know the how probabable that outcome is.
I will not be able to forgive but maybe I can forget…-
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CNever forgive not forget such assholes. Don’t listen to this Gandhiwadi lunatic. Just take the suggestion given in the comment and take the legal way, f**k your uncle’s life. More power to you.
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UThe fuck is this logic?
The guy will do the same to another girl, what’ll you do if the girl’s your daughter or sister will you tell her to forgive and forget.
No wonder this country’s fucked it’s filled with people like you.
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MSeems like the mentality of a culprit. NO women or men or kids don’t need to forgive or forget. Fk this uncle for life along with the wife and grand parents. He might have already harassed countless girls in the 4 years considering there were no repercussions. Destroy his life even if the whole family begs to not to. Will get trauma go away ever? No!
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UWhat the hell is “lesson learnt”? She is not regretting an overpriced handbag she bought, for you to say “lesson learnt”. She was SAd. There is no lesson to be learnt here. What happened should not have happened. She was 14. There is nothing she could have done to prevent it.
A mother’s brother is supposed to care for the niece when the parents are not around, show love. Not molest them. I can’t even imagine the trauma OP must be experiencing. She needs to immediately seek therapy to process the trauma.
Then if she has the will to fight, she should seek justice.
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UDont be afraid – Be strong. In today’s world, women, are marginalised, and men generally have more power. As a result of this power imbalance, it is easier for men to perpetrate abuse against women and avoid persecution for this, due to their relative power. This means that as much as we do to help individual survivors of gender-based violence, it won’t end unless there is a culture shift. We can all help make this happen by disrupting rape culture.
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QYou don’t need evidence.
The burden of proof lies with the accused.
Discuss with your parents before you take any steps.
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UIs it really so? What if someone tried to falsely implicate anyone with this law, How would the person defend?
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UThat’s why women have started using false cases. The accused has to prove he was innocent even if a woman files ages later. How can a male do it ? Record every interaction with every human. Isliye best to stay away from all women. For the intimacy part, a good paid woman is much better than the hell some women put us men through.
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UWhat the hell is “lesson learnt”? She is not regretting an overpriced handbag she bought, for you to say “lesson learnt”. She was SAd. There is no lesson to be learnt here. What happened should not have happened. She was 14. There is nothing she could have done to prevent it.
A mother’s brother is supposed to care for the niece when the parents are not around, show love. Not molest them. I can’t even imagine the trauma OP must be experiencing. She needs to immediately seek therapy to process the trauma.
Then if she has the will to fight, she should seek justice.
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PI see where you are coming from but going legal will not be easy. Also, it will be very traumatic reliving the experience over and over again in the courts. It is not that you give a testimony once and it will be over.
To prevent him from doing that to others, keep naming and shaming him at family events. -
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AAt first I thought OP is a boy . That wouldn’t have made a difference anyways ,but still . Please seek therapy . All the best to you . Take care
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SIt will be tried under POCSO since you were a minor then, which is an extremely strict provision. His life will be screwed forever. Remember, your verbal statement is also an “evidence”. Even if, for any reason, he is not convicted, the process itself is hell for an accused.
Discuss with your parents and ask yourself what kind of punishment you wish to see for him.
Don’t worry regarding the support from cops etc, our legal system, as bad as it maybe, does take POCSO complaints very seriously.
All the best for whatever you decide! -
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USo the first thing that you should do is to consult a therapist and do everything possible to stop having this incidence impact your brain any longer. Don’t give it any more power.
Then consider options of complaint / involving authorities/ case etc. It might seem a strange suggestion but these actions should be from a motivation to closure rather than revenge.
Hope you come.out of it fast and be happy !!! -
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UGoogle POCSO, under this act, there’s no time limit for reporting cases of child sexual abuse. This means that no matter how much time has passed, survivors can still file a complaint, even years later. And, why are you feeling that you will not get justice? I understand, justice might be delayed – or might get failed as well but trying out is our duty na? If you don’t speak up today and take the action, there is guaranteed failure of justice.
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GFacing such incidents is bad and leaves a lot of mental trauma.
Please take some counselling to come out of that.Registering a complaint that has happened 4 years back, reduces the chance of your winning and rendering justice.
Since there is a delay of 4 years.If he repeats such acts again, you can take legal action, it can be handled under provisions of BNS.
Earlier under sections 354 ipc. -
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YAt least your parents did something for you took stand I have been ignored and made to feel like nothing happened. I was 14-15 years.He used to do it openly and nobody said anything to him my father loves him and always gives preference to his brothers till date he comes my dad asks me to do everything like nothing ever happened asked me to make cake for him on his birthday always ready to give his life for his brothers I lived my whole teenage in like I just exists I used to get memory loss and then one day I would recall everything. Your parents not giving you any support is worst and on top of that my father liking him loving him giving him all the preference. Treating us badly. I don’t feel any respect for them especially my father.
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FHi OP, I’m sorry that you went through this.
First, did this person ever apologize to you? If not, you ensure that he does. This is the first step in the recovery process, he should fall at your feet or need to regret his actions in front of all.
When he apologizes, make a video if you’re feeling he’s not genuine.
Use that as proof.
And personal advice to you is to meditate, move on slowly, ( i know it is difficult), learn to succeed in everything. All the very best OP. Stay blessed.
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RLawyer here. At this point, therapy will help more than anything else you do.
However, if you do wish to see him punished, you can complain to the cops on him. Talk to a lawyer first, to compose the statement you will make the the cops. You don’t want to miss out on key details, and you don’t want to say things that will interfere with the case.
PS: Procedure is punishment for the accused, but it is also punishment for the complainant, to an extent. You will be called a liar, and you will be interrogated on the stand. For any other complainant, it isn’t a big deal, but for victims of sexual abuse, such interrogation can undo years of therapy.
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UThese kinds of guys should not be spared. They should be shamed in the public setting fear for other molesters. It surely must be hard for victims who go through this to see the culprit who exploited innocence to satisfy their lust roam free as if nothing happened. I don’t think it’s late you can still file a complaint. It all depends on how much your family supports you here as they were the only witness from a legal perspective. Take care and if you are feeling too disturbed take help from a professional counselor.
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UI was molested 3 times by one of my uncles when i was barely 15 and didn’t even understand that such a thing even exists. I told my mum about it after the 3rd time but she told me to not discuss about it with anyone coz it might hamper familial relations and my uncle’s relation with his wife. His wife was my mother’s sister. So I kept quiet. My mother ensured that i am never alone in his company. But no one confronted him ever. Now o am 36. The uncle is long dead. But i am still traumatised by what the younger me had to go through. I don’t think the haunting feeling will ever Leave me. It also strained my relationship with my mother because when i grew up i felt she should have given him a piece of mind.
So i think you should definitely take whatever action you feel will make you comfortable. It can even be unmasking his deeds in front of all family members and making him apologise to you and beg you for forgiveness -
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