- This topic has 41 replies, 32 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
USo, the time has come. As 10th board exams have ended, everyone is deciding what subjects they want to take.
A little background about my girlfriend’s life — her family is extremely abusive. Her mother is not mentally okay, and her father isn’t either. He beats her almost every day and calls her the r-word daily, never missing a day. He calls her that word more often than he uses her name. He’s an alcoholic and very abusive.Her mother comes from a commerce background, and her father is from a science background. Both of them want her to take PCM, but my girlfriend wants to take humanities because she’s interested in becoming an English professor in the future. Since the day the boards ended, she’s been fighting with her parents about wanting to take humanities, but they refuse to agree.
Jump to today — her parents called her into their room and asked her again which subjects she wanted to take. When she said humanities, her father started beating the living hell out of her. Her mother, being as evil as she is, left the room and locked the door from outside, trapping my girlfriend inside with her father so she couldn’t escape the beating.
After all this, about six hours later, she managed to message me on Instagram. She told me her father had almost killed her today. He had his fingers inside her throat for five minutes, and when she was about to faint because she couldn’t breathe, he brought a cloth and choked her with it. After that, he beat her even more.
When it was over, her mother came back, opened the door, handed her some water, and said, “Aur mat suno hamari baat”. While she was drinking the water, her father kicked her, and then both of her parents left the room.
I just don’t know how to help her through this. Her parents abuse her daily, and it’s only getting worse because she’s refusing to take PCM. Any kind of advice would be helpful🙏
-
SSame advice as earlier
Dusro k raitay ko apne pulao pe mat girao.
Legal advice: get in touch with ngo (it’ll remove her from the abusive place but might not necessarily make her life better)
-
-
SThat’s the cause of your emotional turmoil. NGO might just be your best shot to help her physically remove herself from the toxic environment. But the condition at NGOs itself isn’t usually good.
If your family is open, you can let her crash at your place.
-
-
-
VAapki behen or mummy k saath hoga tab bhi yahi bologe devil ji?
Love how this 16yr old has more balls and empathy
-
-
-
CThe problem is unless she is 18 she can’t live with you or anyone else cz that’s gonna cause trouble for you as her parents will file a case stating you have kidnapped there minor daughter but there is a way child helpline , even a local police complaint or women’s helpline will do that will make her 2 years later path of leaving her parents easy if you will have a written record of parental abuse that will also make sure she is alive and safe cz if something will happen to her parents will be caught ,
hope this helps -
Gfocus on your studies. no one is gonna even look at you if you are not doing financially well. if later on the girl family decides to go against you legally, I can assure you the girl will take their side only. stay on your own lane
-
-
CHonestly I don’t understand all the horrible negative comments kid, you’re doing a great job at recognizing abuse as weird ad it sounds a lot of people aren’t aware of it
What you can do as a teenager from my very limited knowledge is
-Inform a teacher who might actually listen and understand
-Tell her that a lot of people switch from PCM/PCB to humanities, it seems like she has no other option , dreams are killed sure but better than what’s already happening, however if she doesn’t perform well she might suffer more
– You need to somehow get some proof more than her words to make sure the abuse is real so that in case anything goes too wrong you can at least inform any AuthoritiesBut reality is you’re both teenagers and it’s hard for you to help her, if you waste your energy and mental health worrying about her when you can do nothing it’ll destroy both your futures whatever action you take make sure to study for yourself first. Otherwise the regret will go to your grave
But yes seek some legal advice maybe from indian law subreddit
-
CAlso so many deaths happen with these kind of families if the abuse is real and then yall cry about how no one tried to help and when you lose a closed one to abuse/suicide/other horrific things that regret also gets carried forever so do everything in your limited power as a kid but please know you as an individual are powerless
-
SExactly. A lot of the comments straight-up advising “ignore, and focus on your own studies and be financially stable” 🤡 yeah, if she survives her abusive drunkard father till the next 6-7 years and then her mentally ill sick minded mother. How more dense can these people be?
-
CYeah and if a kid is attached to someone and cares about them and something horrible happens these people think life just goes on
I’m sure there are resources out there or platforms where he can tall to people who can give some good legal advice istg.
-
SThe fact that probably all kinda 30-40-year-old uncles hijacked the conversation from legal advice to “I think you should do this instead of that”. Bro came to this sub for legal advice, if you don’t have it, just move on?? Also, disgusted by the way people are fine with the kind of treatment the girl is receiving from her own parents. I am sure there are human rights and other serious cases involved+she’s a minor. I am pretty sure if she files a police complaint against these kinda parents, they are going in for a long time.
-
CYeah exactly, I didn’t see it was legal advice just came and saw how unsupportive and weird people were, genuinely saddened me
These are the same people who’ll upload stories on instagram about how no one cares about them or something lol
I would like some ngo or lawyer to actually answer what can these kids actually do
I had a friend who was abused by her dad this way she reached out to a lawyer, the case settled down becasue she was powerless but her dad stopped being a bit less around becasue he realized consequences might actually come
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
UNot a lawyer
Ask her to contact the child helpline or local police station a written complaint might help.
And also tell her that it is very much possible to take science in 10+2 and switch to English honours in college. As long as she is having English as a subject in her 10+2 examination which is mandatory for most of the boards I guess. But yeah PCM is not gonna be easy.
A friend of mine has actually done that he had taken PCB in 10+2 then pursued English honours in college.
Most of the colleges allow you to take any subject as your honours/major subject if you have studied that (or a related subject) in 10+2.
-
BOnline national women commission mein ek complain daalo if she has those beating marks send them as proof and you can talk with NGOS AND LET HER COME OUT BUT WHAT will she do if she does that no money no side business neither nothing I love your concern but reality is way too far if your family helps she can any how survive but you all need to be careful because obvious they gonna try to prove that she is the issue. http://www.ncw.nic.in/helplines
-
Pall she can do legally is:
1. accept that she will take pcm
2. take pcm
3. move out of the house for college
4. finish college
5. get a job
6. be financially independent
7. cut off her parents permanentlythat’s about it. idk why you are asking for legal advice. she is a dependent on her parents, and a minor. she is basically their property. as are you, to your parents.
she can fight, but those fights just end up being the girl getting married off asap. if your gf’s parents wanna avoid the police, they will do it when she is 18
she can just take pcm. to be really honest, if she just wanna be a professor, it doesn’t really matter which subject she takes. unless you are lower caste, you’ll definitely get a professor job. however, if you are lower caste, you’ll likely not get to even phd regardless of the subject. so there is that.
-
-
VChild services. I know we ain’t no America but child help line or you can directly complain to child welfare or human rights commision. Thag way the parents won’t be able to manage them, as there’s a chance that they manage police. You can also take help from media. But if she leaves the parents is there any way she can survive like any relatives to take care of her and such.
-
JI will be honest brother, that’s not something you should try to interfere. And if you really want to then tell her to call child helpline or any ngo, but it is of no use, the police may book her parents but they will be out in no time and then will torcher her more, and ask your friend if she is ready to live apart from her parents, the ngo may finance her Little expenses, but then she has to manage her expenses herself.
-
-
SDawg atleast talk bout it with yo parents man tell them uh a girlfriend and she’s getting abused and ask them if she can stay with y’all for a few days until CHILD AUTHORITY takes action against her parents. It’s about a human life brother if u contact CPS while she’s in their house by the time they arrive she might as well be fuking ded bro
-
SAll of a sudden, LegalAdviceIndia has become “what I think you should do”
I am sorry for the things you and your girlfriend is going thru OP. please get in touch with a lawyer friend or someone similar for advice. Do not rely on the comments saying “dusre ka raita, biryani, pulav” and all. These people would leave their sister in an abusive household just cuz they don’t have a spine to stand up against abuse.
-
-
BSo been in that place about 5 years ago. But I choose families decision gave up my dream. Because for this my mental peace is more important . So after two years u gave jee exam right now in a engineering college not that happy still happy cause I am away from my family studying. Just say her to study hard and leave that house is she don’t want her family to think she leaved. Right now studying after some years I am going to get job and work. But happily away from parents that’s important. You just stay silent help her keep her happy. Tell her that to tell her parents that okay I will do pcm please send some good place to study like kota Or delhi so that she can be away from her parents. Have her mental peace and after that study hard to study by there own in a college. Best think is this. I did thia
-
PDude, I know it sounds bad and all. But do not sneak her out or encourage her to ran away. It will become harder for you guys and don’t go legal work. If her father manages to win a trial, then he might actually kill her. Talk to teachers or so…plus you can become an english professor with science ss well. After she’s eighteen, then she can do whatever she has to
-
-
-
RHi OP, I m so sorry your gf is going through this. Honestly from your part, all you can do is report this to a teacher and everything. But I don’t know if a stream is worth it to get beaten up over. It’s so miserable how parents will beat up their kids over a fucking stream.
One more advice, could you see if she could possibly take maths with humanities and see if her parents agree to that. Or if she tells her parents that she’ll do an economics degree or something else. She can’t survive 2 years at home by being strong willed, she needs to lie. I m so sorry, I hope you find a solution soon -
RLegally she can put her father in jail but for that she has to be ready to complain. The father has a duty to provide maintenance if she files a case for maintenance.
Practical advice; call child helpline or see if any relative or elder person intervenes in the child abuse. I wish Indian social service was strong to put these people in jail and provide for the girl but safely we live in a third world country. Do not be afraid to approach the police if you think her life is under threat.
-
GJust go and report in [https://ncpcr.gov.in/](https://ncpcr.gov.in/)
Also if possible try to take some evidence . Even if you don’t have evidence and she is not feeling safe she can just take help from child protective services. Also child helpline is 1098 which is open 24/7.
I hope this helps ❤️
-
-
-
PI am NOT a lawyer.
Please talk to people who specialize in such delicate matters. Reddit is probably not the place for such complex guidance.
Some places where you might get better help or direction:
1. NCPCR (National Commission for Protection of Child Rights)
2. Women’s Police Station of your city
3. Bachpan Bachao Andolan bba.org.in
4.https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/blogs/legally-speaking/corporal-punishment-against-children-and-the-law/Please know that it is relatively hard to go against the child’s parents.
You might want to go through the above info & find a lady guidance counselor for her so she has a responsible adult to talk to… someone who is properly trained in child/ teen psychology.
-
-
-
AIrrelevant but if i had such abusive parents (i did, but now they don’t fuck around with me, as i can easily mess them up), i would’nt have hesitated in snatching their property and throw them on the road in their old-age
With that being said, does she have any siblings or maybe any way she can get a video recorded of her father’s brutality, then that would make it way easier to fuck up his father as this abuse is never going to stop, first it’s for subject, then it’s for college, then it’s for job, then it’s for marriage, and maybe upload it on X or reddit, it will take just one video for the posco to act
-
