- This topic has 33 replies, 33 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 4 months ago by
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UHello folks. Wanted to check if there is any legal action that can be taken against the guy. He canceled the wedding just a few days before the event (after all the prep and inviting people etc). This has caused a lot of grief to me and my family. If the guy would have mentioned this even a couple of months ago, it would have been fine, but the fact that he waited till the last minute to make a decision makes my blood boil. We are at a loss as to why he did this. To give some details
The guy works in a reputed company in US.
He and my sister got engaged in November of last year. We have proof of the event, pictures etc. We have the wedding card etc as proof too. Not sure what can be done here and what proofs are needed for this.
Please advise.
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LI’m so sorry OP is explaining this to everyone, but that guy is a cheater. That man and OP’s sister were together and then they decided to get married. A few days before marriage he found someone else, which means he cheated. Na op you shouldn’t be fine with him finding someone else either and others should stop questioning oh well why did he do it.
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UI would like to ask you this
What if your sister wanted to backoff last minute ?
Would you still force her to go through wedding because of mental agony caused to the guy
Lastly yes you should get the money you spent back
But no mental agony isn’t the reason to bind two people even when either of them doesn’t want to be whatever the reason maybe
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DLet me be the devils advocate and tell you about my experience. Once upon a time I was engaged. Arrange marriage. I wasn’t pressured into marriage but again i wasn’t actually too willing. By that time i was living in Singapore for a significant amount of time.
Over the course of next few months post engagement and before marriage we used to talk often. Over the period of time we both realized that the match is not good. We were incompatible. The arguments, different expectations and so on.
While neither of us were willing to tell our parents because of the grief it will cause them and we’re trying to force each other to inform. Time was passing.I got lucky because one day her father got too drunk and did something which automatically led to wedding cancellation.
I understand where you coming from. A lot of comments here are blaming the boy. Maybe he is at fault. I don’t know. Our society is made up of people who never think rationally but love to blame the easiest person.
I would say do two things
1) speak to your sister and console her in case if she is distressed.
2) get a letter drafted from any lawyer for your expenses and attach the proofs if you have. Send the demand letter.
3) if you really want to push it demand an apology from the family as well.
However, what will it get you ?
The grief will go with time. Your sister, bless her heart, has also to move ahead.
Take this as a lesson. Revenge may backfire in useless court cases. But again I am not a lawyer.
Hope this make sense. I wish you and your family all the luck man .
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PNAL.
>I don’t want to file any false case
Now read this again:
>…spent close to 10L for the wedding prep. They wanted a grand engagement and we obliged. Sangeeth, done. Clothes to be given. Big wedding hall, done. No expenses were split.
Dowry right here👇:
>They wanted a grand engagement and we obliged.
>Clothes to be given.
>Big wedding hall, done.
>No expenses were split.
Consult a lawyer, irl. You are posting your own story in such an apologetic way, no wonder the guy had the guts to do this to you. Stand up for yourself for once.
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UHey thank god he cancelled now and don’t go through with it then your sister would have suffered .. if you have spent a lot of money on booking you can file a civil suit for refund if expenses and compensation for all the losses . There is a 2016 case where SC has directed the grooms side to refund costs of Roka and venue booking for wedding when a bride filed a cheating case .
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UJust sharing my brother’s experience. He had to call off in last moment mainly because of 2 things. One is he couldn’t connect with the girl, their frequencies didn’t match(my brother was responsible and conservative guy, while the girl didn’t understand responsibility and was instagram spoilt). Second and most important was the girl was highly unpredictable and emotional and behaved erratically after they started speaking over phone. Also she wanted him to be available immediately if she called and she called him like 30-40 times a day, if one time he couldn’t attend due to office meeting or when he was eating, She created a huge noise and fight and cried and made him to apologise. This was a huge red flag. He was having this within himself, and 4-5 days before wedding the girl made a big drama and we got to know and finally we encouraged him to call off the wedding.
Also we shared wedding costs. And we bore most of cost. We didn’t pay for some ridiculous.
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JNAL. Contact the family and ask for reparations. If that doesn’t work involve a lawyer to formally ask for reparations. This isn’t a crime, so I don’t think you can file a FIR. But sending a stern formal message in itself can be stern message. I would even spread a word in community/neighborhood about the betrayal. Unless you make hue and cry you aren’t going to get the money let alone justice. People who are playing game theory with life deserve to be held accountable. God speed!
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UIt’s not a big deal, 99% of bride side always shamelessly exercise this modus operandi ( ditching one groom & grabbing better one even at last moment ), because not only girl but thier entire family as a unit is on a mission to crack best possible deal in marriage market. So if this young man gave you taste of your own pill then it is not a crime, it is just tit for tat response.
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ULet me tell you from the story from other end. I was the girl who called off her marriage one month before the date I was supposed to be married. It was not an easy decision as all the shopping was done and invites were ready. I was engaged 9 months ago in a huge ceremony which hundreds of relatives attended so everyone knew the marriage was due.
Through the courtship period, I never felt any sort of connection with the guy. Initially I thought since it is arrange marriage we both have our reservations. But we never communicated openly. I brought it up to the guy a few times that I would like to get to know him better before we get married because I do not want to marry a total stranger. Despite this things did not change. I kept on thinking it will improve I just have to give it some more time.
But as the time came closer to get married to him, I just could not. I couldn’t get myself to do it and it scared me. Thinking of staying with someone who never regarded my concerns. There were too many things that I wanted to discuss with him before we got married and I told him but he just dismissed them all.It caused a lot of distress and trauma. It was difficult decision and I was under a lot of stress and pressure from both the families. But I stood my ground as it was my life at stake. It took a lot of time for my family to come around the fact and I am glad they finally decided to support me(unwillingly).
There are numerous factors when it comes to taking a decision like this. From emotional compatibility to values and beliefs both people should be on the same page. If there is any doubt it is always better to walk away from any sort of commitment. I am not sure how the situation was between them but if there is even 0.1% doubt that it will not work it is better to not go through with it.
It is better to go through this stress before one gets married than spoil the life not only yours but the other persons and the two families as well.Honestly walking out from a marriage is better than staying/getting in one which causes distress.
I know a girl’s family has to face too many things when something like this happens. I am not a lawyer so there might be some legal action that you can take. But according to me you should just be glad that you go to know when you got to know. People cancel the wedding at the mandap when the barat walks in because guy is drunk or they demand dowry or they misbehave.
All that you feel right now is just momentary. The money spend will also come back but if it would have been a wrong decision it would have haunted for life.
Just think that if the marriage happens with wrong person you will spend more on the court proceeding on divorce and will be under for more stressful situations. -
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