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PMy cousin[28F] (mother’s sister’s daughter) got married in an arranged setup just 5 months ago, in December last year. Her husband[32M] is my grandfather’s sister’s son’s son. My mother passed the proposal after both families agreed.
Why we agreed to this match:
Her husband doesn’t own a house — they live in a rented home — and his income (around ₹30–40K/month) is not very high. But still, we thought the family had a good reputation. His mother (my cousin’s MIL) was known as calm and kind in society. Their elder two sons are well-respected, married (outside caste, love marriages), and live separately. No one knew how toxic the MIL actually is toward her daughters-in-law because those elder sons stood up for their wives.
We assumed the younger son (my cousin’s husband) would be similar to his brothers — respectful and supportive. But we were completely wrong.What actually happened (in just 5 months):
– Husband is emotionally and physically abusive.
– A complete mama’s boy — supports his mother blindly no matter what.
– Expects my cousin to respect MIL even if she’s abusive.
– Only talks to her when he wants sex; otherwise ignores her.
– Beat her 1–2 times when she stood up for herself.
– Clearly married her for 3 things: someone to care for his parents, sex, and children.
– Said they’ll go on honeymoon only after she gives birth, which is cruel.
– Doesn’t give her money for the household — says she should manage with her ₹5,000/month imitation jewellery job.
– Told her to ask her brother to keep recharging her phone, like before marriage.
– Doesn’t share his income details, and works with his brother in a small business.Despite everything, she still does all the housework and cooking. It’s a traditional marriage in reality — she carries all the domestic and emotional burden.
We had a family meeting, but the in-laws got worse, not better.
Now she’s saying:
“Either help me get out of this marriage or I’ll end my life.”She’s from a poor family, lost her father, and is mentally breaking down. She also feels insecure about her appearance, which makes her think she won’t get a second chance at life or love. But we want her to live with peace and dignity — that’s what truly matters.
The worst part: both families are blaming my mother for bringing this proposal.
Our main question:
Since the marriage is only 5 months old, and both sides are close to us, we’re very confused.
Should we:
Help her file for divorce quietly, without asking for anything, just to escape?
OR
Help her file for divorce with maintenance, since she’s doing all duties like a housewife and has no support?Please guide us. We don’t want to make a mistake, and we want to do the right thing for her — legally, emotionally, and practically.
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