- This topic has 66 replies, 63 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 1 month ago by
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EThrowaway account, will keep it as concise as possible.
* Wife joined an IT Company last year, performed well, got recognised for her efforts
* This older man, 37M (several levels above her) starts to harass her, her role demands her to work with this man in close co-ordination, so there is NO WAY to avoid this man professionally.
* Texts, calls in the middle of the night, making dinner plans every other night knowing she won’t be comfortable (yes, she’s mentioned the same multiple times, over text as well).
* Marriage proposals, desire to start a family and all that (This guy knows she just got married, nothing seems to deter him).
* This guy contacted me as well, assured me he’ll get what he wants and that he doesn’t care about POSH. For confidentiality reasons, I can’t disclose the exact statements but it objectified the female anatomy.
* He’s apparently some hotshot and has a lot of hold in the organisation, hence even after a formal complaint, he was just let off with a warning.While I understand this isn’t my place to say, as I am from a different organisation, I can’t stand her facing this everyday, what are my legal options? Please consider he is a person with a good reach.
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FLet me tell you something, kid—this isn’t just a boundary-crossing, it’s psychological warfare. And you don’t fight fire with a polite complaint—you burn the whole fing system down, legally and strategically.*
This guy thinks he’s untouchable? Good. That’s exactly the kind of overconfident dinosaur who gets blindsided hardest when real heat shows up. Here’s what you do:
1. Document EVERYTHING. Every message, every call log, every “proposal,” every sleazy threat he’s made to you or her. Time-stamped, backed up, archived. You’re not collecting receipts—you’re loading ammunition.
2. Lawyer up—privately and ruthlessly. Not HR, not office gossip. You find a hardcore POSH-specialist lawyer who doesn’t blink when the other guy has “reach.” Let them build the legal noose.
3. File a police complaint. Sexual harassment under IPC Section 354A, criminal intimidation under Section 506, and if he’s contacting you with threats—Section 509 (outraging the modesty of a woman). This isn’t corporate policy—it’s a criminal offense.
4. Make the company pick a side—with consequence. Give them a chance to fix it. If they don’t, you slam them with a lawsuit and expose them publicly. Their brand image will bleed. No CEO wants to be the face of a #MeToo scandal in 2025.
5. Power is perception. Don’t play defense. Be the guy they didn’t expect to come swinging. You don’t whisper when someone disrespects your wife—you let your actions scream in boardrooms, courtrooms, and pressrooms.Your wife deserves safety, respect, and to do her damn job without fear. This isn’t about ego. It’s about decimating a predator’s illusion of power.
Do it smart. Do it legal. But do it like a motherf***er who’s done taking notes.
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FLet me tell you something, kid—this isn’t just a boundary-crossing, it’s psychological warfare. And you don’t fight fire with a polite complaint—you burn the whole fing system down, legally and strategically.*
This guy thinks he’s untouchable? Good. That’s exactly the kind of overconfident dinosaur who gets blindsided hardest when real heat shows up. Here’s what you do:
1. Document EVERYTHING. Every message, every call log, every “proposal,” every sleazy threat he’s made to you or her. Time-stamped, backed up, archived. You’re not collecting receipts—you’re loading ammunition.
2. Lawyer up—privately and ruthlessly. Not HR, not office gossip. You find a hardcore POSH-specialist lawyer who doesn’t blink when the other guy has “reach.” Let them build the legal noose.
3. File a police complaint. Sexual harassment under IPC Section 354A, criminal intimidation under Section 506, and if he’s contacting you with threats—Section 509 (outraging the modesty of a woman). This isn’t corporate policy—it’s a criminal offense.
4. Make the company pick a side—with consequence. Give them a chance to fix it. If they don’t, you slam them with a lawsuit and expose them publicly. Their brand image will bleed. No CEO wants to be the face of a #MeToo scandal in 2025.
5. Power is perception. Don’t play defense. Be the guy they didn’t expect to come swinging. You don’t whisper when someone disrespects your wife—you let your actions scream in boardrooms, courtrooms, and pressrooms.Your wife deserves safety, respect, and to do her damn job without fear. This isn’t about ego. It’s about decimating a predator’s illusion of power.
Do it smart. Do it legal. But do it like a motherf***er who’s done taking notes.
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AAbee hizre jaake pael usko mc ek jeevan ek biwi, me hota toh jaake maarta mc ko, frr dheki jaegiiii
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SPOSH doesnt impact senior people much. And when EY can get away with an associates death( it wasnt POSH, but still a big mental harrassment).
Best option. Ask your wife to leave the job and do some free lancing for the time being. Post that, collect all proofs ( you can surely entice the guy to say bad things about the system, POSH etc.), post it on linked in. Send to companys HR, promoter and board. Make him famous. Bring him down. -
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HGather proof. Document everything properly. Raise POSH, the panel has to have external people in the committee as well. Genuinely consider legal action and let the office folks know that is something you would graduate to. Expose the guy on linkedin and X, no one should go through this again. Your wife may have to change organisations because this would have unsaid repercussions. More importantly, you may confront this person directly. Being the husband, her safety is your responsibility. Rather try both approaches parallely. Break this MF.
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PComplain to the police via Fir
or
Tell her to switch companies as soon as possible
or
Send this on LinkedIn with proof and some solid professional statements and tag the company and there higher officials. Make this public, hopefully some higher exec or officer might see it and intervene to end this issue.OK
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SYou can be an anonymous (or not) whistleblower and log the issue in the organisation board of directors – assuming the organisation is a serious one. You are entitled to protection. Alternatively you can just go to the local police department but need evidence, your wife needs to co-operate and provide.
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IThere are external POSH organizations outside of corporates. You could complain there directly. They will then investigate themselves and then the companies’ POSH cells will have to answer them. Normally, companies don’t want such bad press.
I’d suggest your wife immediately resign. This will not stop. Only escalate. He is systematically and slowly eroding her boundaries. The way this works is he will keep pushing new ones each time, making the old boundaries look less serious in comparison. And they know what they are doing. They will pick and choose the correct time/place to do such things.
From my experience: how the escalation happened to me:
1. Yelled at me for not sending an self-introductory email when I joined. “How will we know you have joined?”. Then in the same conversation asked me about my marital status. I was and still am single. Then offered to look for a guy for me to marry.
2. General over-friendly behaviour: oversharing, talking too much about nonsensical things
3. Out of politeness, I once asked him how he was doing healthwise as he had just recovered from some long illness. Picked a leaf out of my hair after I quite literally did the matrix bend over backwards to get away from his hand.
4. During the office team-building trip (I hate these team-building things now): I was minding my own business and looking out the window while everyone was dancing in the bus. I turned to look ahead and there he was with his phone camera pointing straight at me. I must’ve looked angry because he then scarpered away.
5. During the same office trip, we sat down for breakfast. I was sitting next an older female Kannada colleague. He was also Kannada. He turned away when this dude approached. He asked permission to take a selfie with me to *the colleague sitting next to me and she fucking said ok. And all this in Kannada. I don’t understand Kannada. * I tried to get the other female colleague in frame by pulling her closer because I didn’t want a picture with just him. Because that seemed too intimate and implied a close personal relationship with him. *The dude framed the photograph such that he cut the third colleague out of the selfie and clicked only the two of us.*
At that point, I lost it and realised he was not going to stop. Just keep pushing incrementally, progressively encroaching more and more into my personal space. I told HR that I want my photo and video deleted from his phone in front of me. I had fully expected him to dilly-dally and deny and the HR to be unhelpful and was prepared to deal with it beforehand.
He began showing photographs one by one. Saying see what a beautiful sunrise and some shit like that. Told him to open the gallery view. Took his phone in my hand. Scrolled down to the video. It was long. Predictably he began to say I was taking a video of everyone dancing and enjoying on the bus. And HR also began to lose patience and say there’s nothing in the video. I said, “We will watch quietly till the end firmly.” And there it was, the camera lingering on me unnecessarily long. Deleted it and then found the selfie and deleted that too. He tried to claim I had consented to the selfie. At which point, I began shouting. Then deleted again from the trash folder as well.
My mistake here: I got rid of the evidence by deleting the photo and video. The HR did not write a report. It later came back to bite me. Anyway my only thought at that time had been to get my photos off his phone. They had already been there for one entire day. And I needed to send him a clear message to stay clear of me. And he did stay clear of me. It came back to bite me over another harassment complaint I made. That office just had too many disgusting people. It was a condom manufacturer for context. They find it hard to recruit and retain good people because of Indian traditional views and end up with assholes like this dude.
I write this in detail to show you that it is indeed intentional and progressive. And they will use plausible deniability any way they can.
Again my personal opinion: resign immediately. A job is not worth this much danger.
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DNever think of it you don’t open up nothing will happen. And your wife will get better job if she goes against the person and losses job. First thing is make every person aware of the incident, ask your wife to write mail in details and tag everyone from top to bottom every department of the company. Under sheer pressure they’re bound to act and if they don’t take the matter to the police.
Don’t compromise with the job of your wife. Self-Respect is everything. This will affect your personal married life. -
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WKya aap sab ko mehsoos horaha hai ke OP ke post mein kuch masla hai??? Aik shohar ki biwi ko koi tang karey, wo uss doosrey ka qatal karta hai, Reddit pe post nahi daalta. Iss sey achi tau aurtein hoti hain, Baal noch deti hain aik doosrey ke. Ya tau baat kuch aur hai, ya tau kuch hai jis sey OP ki phatti pari hai.
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KWhy would she continue in that job?
Just meet him next to an auto rishaw stand, slap him and say you’re a pervert, stop trying to harass me in the local language. Then let locals take care of it. He won’t go to the police. School girls during my childhood used to use this against perverts, they would ask the auto rikshaw drivers for help. Many of them live with the rule sky above the head and dirt beneath the feet. -
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VPOSH is absolute nonsense. There will be terrible retaliation if you complain against a top guy. The best solution is to grey rock the narcissist and keep all the evidence for just in case situation. Switch the job immediately.
POSH is just not taken in a good light. The female hr or managers will harass your wife and screw her sense of self esteem. This might end up giving both of you workplace PTSD. Please just switch the job and get rid of this place.
Also read 48 laws of power to handle subtle power struggles at work.
All the best! -
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UBhai yaha kya post kar raha hai, ghar me ghus ke pel de saale ko, nahi kar sakta toh wife ki company change karwa de. This should be a no brainer. Itna time leke post likha hai itne me toh tu ye problem solve bhi kar deta. Bhai aise sexual predators aur bullies ko chhodte nahi hain, apne andar ka janwar nikal and give him some serious physical torture.
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ABro, I’ve been through this. Just switch jobs!
– start searching for another job, as soon as your wife gets another job ask her to go to HR and ask for immediate release and tell them that this guy is harrasing her that’s why she wants to leave. And she doesn’t want to serve notice period or anything, present proves. -
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IEeeee how many badly raised and entitled men r there in india. Really wanna slap the dirty geiser with a slipper, abuse of power as always with this trash.
No im not generalising all indian men, just the ones who are so demanding, entitled and the ones that goes on a power abuse spree to get what they want.
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MMeet a lawyer IMMEDIATELY!!
– Formal complaint has been made to the organization and there is no change or seriousness
– Person in question is definitely in a position of power
– Despite Complaint organization has not changed work status quo wrt proximity or power with person in q
– Ur family is not dependent on your wifes incomeSue them for upwards of 100 Crores. Get a great lawyer.
Involve Women NGOs. Preferably a good NGO that has media repertoire.Mostly likely organization will settle. Calculate the compensation on a regression model of your wifes lifetime earning. Dont settle for anything less.
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SAsk your wife to invite him to play along, make him think he is winning. Book a hotel or invite him to your house, nothing you and a few friends with cricket bats can’t beat out of him from.
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CAsk your wife to shame the man and the company on social media, especially LinkedIn. Connect a few LinkedIn content creators and ask them to support you. Contact me, I am a journalist in one of the top 3 newspapers in India, I will write a scathing piece about him and the company, it will not only ruin their reputation in the market but the man will be left with no choice but to live the rest of his life in shame. And also, the company will have to compensate your wife for the emotional and physical distress caused by his actions and the actions of those who let him continue his ways.
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SMake the guy suffer, POSH, file complains, nothing works you go to the office and cause a scene!
The old fuck should be petrified to do this again in his life. Damage his reputation and then, get your wife out of that office. Make so much money that you have the freedom to take such actions and not worry about monthly expenses. -
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RThis is really serious and its really disgusting how people think they can get away with this. Even if he’s not ‘scared’ you can do these:
1. Your wife should keep all the messages, texts, emails, and anything that shows unwanted attention or harassment.
2. Even if he says he doesn’t care bout POSH, she should file a formal complaint under the POSH Act with her company’s Internal Committee. They are legally required to investigate. If they only issued a warning despite serious misconduct, that shows the process wasn’t taken seriously.
3. She can also file a complaint with the Local Committee under POSH, which operates independently of her employer. This option exists specifically for cases where the company protects the harasser or fails to act.
4. A police complaint is possible as well. Sections 354A, 354D, and 509 of the Indian Penal Code may apply. If his messages to you were threatening or vulgar, that adds weight to the case.
5. His position in the company should not deter you. The law does not consider corporate hierarchy, and going through proper legal channels can put pressure on the organisation to take real action.
If she is worried about retaliation or wants to proceed carefully, speaking to a lawyer privately would be a good next step.
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