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SAbout me,
I’m a 22-year-old guy (let’s call me Dev) from a tier-2 city in India. I’m a college dropout, but despite that, I’m earning more than what the top placement holder from any big-name institute would. I’m in the content industry, so I guess it’s not that big of a deal. I have fair skin and a muscular body (thanks to genetics), but I’d say I’m just an average-looking guy. I was pretty good at studies—cracked multiple defence exams like NDA, cleared SSB too—but I left all that behind. Government jobs just aren’t my thing. They don’t respect you even if you die. We all know what happens to the families of martyrs—what they get and when—it’s not hidden.
I’m more of a lone wolf. I don’t talk much, don’t like sharing things with anyone. My phone is always on DND. I don’t answer missed calls, and I rarely call back. I only speak to a couple of friends every few months—those who actually know what I’m doing, how I’m doing, and where I am. Apart from those 2–3 people (who are my school friends), nobody really knows anything about me—not my schoolmates, not my university friends. They call or text sometimes, but I ignore it. If you’ve watched Aspirants, I’m like Abhilash—disconnected from everyone except SK, and SK is connected with everyone.
I’m into content creation and recently started a small business. That journey gave me exposure and wisdom across areas like tech, AI, sales, marketing, philosophy, psychology, finance, relationships, fitness—pretty much everything. You could call me a jack of all trades, master of none.
I have a deep, calm voice that sounds mature—older, even. Maybe that’s why women in their late 30s find it attractive. Because of how I speak, my personality, the way I carry myself, I’ve always had friends and people around me who are older—25, 26, 27, 28. Gender doesn’t matter—we always treated each other as equals. No “bhaiya” or “didi,” and no one treated me like a kid either. Because of that, I’ve had female friends who are psychologists, doctors, startup founders, and more. It’s not like I never spoke to people my age—I did—but most of my time has been spent around older people to learn and grow. I’ve shaped my personality in a way that whether people meet me online or offline, they treat me with respect.
One thing I should mention: I speak a bit directly. I use words like tu and tujhe—not in an abusive way, that’s just how I like to speak. I don’t use “aap” or even “tum,” especially with people under 30. For older people, I address them with respect, using their names like “Maya ji” or “Radhika ji”—but never “aunty” or “didi” or anything like that. Despite the way I speak, people still like talking to me. When I ask them why, they say, “You’re genuinely a nice person. It’s just the way you talk—nothing else.” They notice that I never use slurs or criticize unnecessarily. Whatever I do, I do with good intent, and if I ever make a mistake, I’m not egoistic—I’m always ready to accept it, learn from it, and become better.
Personally, I think (just an observation) that because of my voice, when I use words like tu or tujhe, they don’t come off as rude. People understand the intent and the context—and maybe that’s what makes the difference.
I spend most of my time in front of screens. I don’t smoke, don’t drink, and I’m not into clubs or partying. I don’t really like going out either—at least not right now—because I’m focused on retiring early. One thing I genuinely love is cars. I’m a huge car enthusiast. But I don’t do chapri giri, and I barely meet my friends. I’m completely comfortable in my own skin. I enjoy working out, going on long drives, and honestly, being alone is one of my favorite things to do. I don’t have any social media—no Instagram, no Snapchat, nothing like that. The only app I use is WhatsApp and Reddit (And for those wondering how that’s possible if I’m into content creation—well, I work in the back-end. It’s mostly pre-production and post-production stuff.)
So yeah, I think that pretty much sums me up.About Her –
She is around 25 (let’s call her Soumya). She comes from a tier-4 city in Bihar. Her father is a doctor and her mother is a school teacher. They’re four siblings — the eldest sister is around 32 (married), the elder brother (28) has been preparing for government jobs in Patna for the last 8 years but… it’s Bihar, and it’s sarkari exam, so no luck. Still jobless, now doing some technical course again. Then comes her — she’s currently in the United Kingdom doing her Masters. And then the youngest brother — 19 years old.
Everyone in her family is educated — even her grandparents. And coming from a place like Bihar, that’s actually something her family always prioritised studies. Her mother got married early. The place she got married into wasn’t good — I mean it’s Bihar, that too 35 years ago, what can you even expect? There was no toilet, so she went to her maayka and straight-up said, “I won’t come back unless there’s a toilet.” Just like Toilet: Ek Prem Katha. Her father-in-law used to respect her a lot, because she was the only well-educated woman in the whole village. So he told his son, “Make a toilet and bring your wife back.” But because of crime and lack of education, her mother decided to live at her own place — and her husband, father-in-law, everyone agreed. In simple words, the girl we’re talking about — her father became a ghar-jamai, started living at his wife’s home. Now just imagine — a lady still living in her maayka even after marriage, and her husband living there too.
But leave all that — let’s get back to her.
Her nanu used to run a lodge — or more like a hostel — for male students (age around 18 to 25). She was around 5–7 years old back then. There were some students she used to call mama. They did wrong things with her — like rubbing their stuff and all. They kept doing it for a long time, but she felt uncomfortable… her dress used to get wet. One day her mom noticed and asked, “Why is your dress wet and what is this?” After that, they shut down the lodge. When she was 12–13, there was a guy in her coaching who tried to kiss her and do some other stuff. But it was her cousin’s sister’s coaching too, so she told her everything and they expelled the guy. Later when she was 17–18, some people tried to touch her in the wrong way. But by then she had learned how to fight. That’s normal I guess — at least for girls in India. Especially if you’re in Bihar, there’s hardly anything you can do. During high school, she fell in love with a guy (they got into a relationship). She was staying in a hostel at that time — that’s why it was possible. But in short — that guy had made a bet with his classmates that he could make her his girlfriend. Because she was really pretty. So he faked everything — his family, background, stories — and she was just blinded by love.
He became super toxic — took money from her, used her savings for smoking. She stopped eating food, but still used to cook for him. And yes, he slapped and abused her in public — in broad daylight. She realised it was getting toxic, and started creating distance. But he kept manipulating her — “This won’t happen again,” and all that. He even created fake Gmail, WhatsApp, Facebook accounts — pretending to be his “sister” and “mother” — just to make her trust him more. But nothing changed. He kept doing the same sh*t.
Then one day he convinced her to meet him one last time — to “sort things out.” She trusted him again. It was morning. They met at an old school building — nobody was there. He gave her tea, mixed something in it… and then he r*ped her. Somehow she managed to reach home and told her elder sister everything. Her sister told their brother to handle the guy — because he didn’t stop there. He started blackmailing her, threatening to leak fake n*des and stuff. I don’t know exactly what her brother did — but he managed to stop him. All this was done quietly. Because “Agar baat bahar aayi to parivaar ki izzat, maa-baap, nanu… sabki respect chali jaayegi. Doctor saab ki beti, teacher hoke apni beti ko sambhal nahi paaye?”And the truth is — nobody knows about this except four people: me, her elder brother, her elder sister, and one of my psychologist friends (whom I helped her trust so she could open up and get help). When she was 15–16, her nanu got mu*dered by goons — over a property dispute near their house.
No one knows what exactly happened after that. As far as she told me, “That property got transferred to her mamas and they’re still not ready to give it back. In fact, they said they’ll sell it to some mafia.” Out of fear that something could happen to the kids, her mother sent them away to relatives. There are three mamas. Two live in Mumbai, one sold his share of property and lives somewhere else in India. The eldest mama left Bihar for studies back in 2000, did his Masters in Ahmedabad, and then moved to Mumbai. So, her mother decided to send her elder brother to Patna and both Soumya and her younger brother to Mumbai — for studies, and for safety. Her sister got married early, because she had some affair going on. Nobody (relatives) really knows where the mamas live exactly — just that it’s “somewhere in Mumbai.” When all this happened with her (Soumya), she was completely broken — mentally, emotionally. She didn’t trust men anymore, and got scared of physical intimacy. So her sister introduced her to a relative — someone who was like her jija ji’s brother. For two years, he stayed close to her. Slowly, she started developing feelings. She felt like he was “the one.” On her birthday, at 12 AM, she decided she would finally confess. But at the same time… she saw chats between that guy and her sister. They were already in a relationship. It shattered her completely. Her sister told her, “If I had known you liked him, I would have never come in between.” They eventually realised that the guy was playing both of them. So they kicked him out of their lives. She is really close to her mother and sister. But with her brother — they barely talk. Months go by. He didn’t support her when it mattered. Her mother is 50+ and still studying. Just recently completed her PhD. Soumya was always good at studies. She topped her entrance exams, even got letters from some of India’s top universities. But her family said, “Ladki hai. Padhkar kya karegi?” So they crushed her dreams. One day, she finally decided she would run away to Mumbai. She believed her mama would help — support her studies and life. And that’s exactly what he did. Marriage proposals stopped coming. And her mama’s daughter — who was already studying in London for 5+ years — became her inspiration. If she can i do it too. She said, just like an English Medium movie, “Mujhe bahar jaana hai. Mujhe bahar padhna hai.” And she made it. Now she’s in the UK, doing her Masters.Now lets talk about US –
We met online through a community. As I said earlier, I spent most of my time with older people, so I had some friends, and she and I met through mutual friends. When I first heard her voice, it clicked in my mind and gave me a signal that she was different. She had a different vibe, something unique from everyone else in the group. I hate texting, but that was the first time I texted someone by myself. It was the first time I slid into someone’s DMs. It was midnight, and everyone else was talking, but we were there, both muted and texting each other, just like that. Later on, while talking, we found out we had similar interests — we liked kids, and a lot of other things. So we became really good, close friends. We started spending more time together. She would wait for me to come tell her about my day, and I’d wait for her to come so I could listen to everything she had to say. We gave each other nicknames, playfully scolding each other if we hadn’t eaten yet. She’d fall asleep on calls while talking, and I’d stay on the call until it disconnected. She’d ask me to sing her a lullaby, and we kept doing this for months. Over time, we got to know each other’s lives. When she mentioned going abroad, I felt sad. But she told me, “Since I met you, everything has been better. Getting my loan approved, the offer letter from the university, and a lot more. Every time I came to you, I felt better, and things would get solved.”
I offered her money, telling her that if she needed it for her studies, I’d help, because her family was against her decision to go abroad. She asked me why I would do that for her. Of course, I liked her from the start, but that wasn’t why I wanted to stay with her. I told her, “You deserve to study, you deserve everything you’ve dreamt of. I couldn’t study because of financial issues, but now that I’m settled, if I can help someone — especially someone as close to me as you — I’d love to.” She refused to take the money, though, saying she couldn’t because of what her family might say, and she had doubts about what I might want in return. She had a relative who wanted to marry her and offered money for it, so she didn’t want to take it. To make things clear, I told her that I didn’t expect anything in return — I’d be happy to help her with no strings attached. I’d even have legal documents to show I was sponsoring her education and there were no hidden benefits. But she still refused, and I respected her decision, though it made me sad. Eventually, she had to ask her relatives for the money, and they told her that “she’d go bad” if she went abroad.
Finally, the offer letter came, and she went back to her village to get it because her classes were starting soon and she hadn’t been home in years. But things were about to change. She managed to talk to me secretly in Mumbai, but in her hometown, it was tough. Even through all the difficulties, we kept texting each other every morning and asking about each other’s meals — breakfast, lunch, dinner. Two days later, I noticed something was off because I hadn’t heard from her, but after two hours, I got a message from her. Even in the text, I could sense something was wrong. After some prodding, she told me that her brothers had beaten her up badly. She had severe injuries to her head and face, and her face was swollen. She said, “My brothers thought something was wrong with me, that I had a ghost inside, and they were trying to beat it out of me.” I couldn’t believe it, but for her, I accepted it all. I told her to escape immediately if she sensed anything wrong, without hesitation. I made sure she had my number, gave her my card details in case of emergencies, and promised to handle everything. I just asked her to promise me she would leave if anything happened again.
She promised, saying nothing could stop her from going to the UK and fulfilling her dreams. I asked for a picture of her brothers so I could understand their personalities. After analyzing them, she confirmed what I suspected — their behavior matched what I had pointed out, and even her mother seemed to be involved in trying to stop her from going abroad. After a few days, her mother took her back to Mumbai. She made me talk to her mother (which was unusual for her) and introduced me as her friend. We spoke for a while, but we had to be cautious about her brothers and relatives because her brother suspected she had a boyfriend(which wasn’t true). Being there for her during tough times made our bond even stronger. But after she reached Mumbai, I found out some shocking things. Her mother had performed a puja because she believed her neighbor had done black magic on her daughter. I also learned that (Soumya) had a genetic migraine problem that ran in her family. Migraines often come from trauma, and it helped me understand her better. Her mother told her to do a 30-hour nonstop puja to remove all problems, but it was impossible for her to follow such strict rules. (Soumya) didn’t do it, though her mother had asked her to repeat a mantra thousands of times, thinking it would solve everything. During our conversation, I also found out that (Soumya) had anxiety disorders. She told me she felt like someone was always watching her, or that there was a spirit outside her window that wanted to harm her. When I asked her to show me, she explained it so vividly that I could tell she was really scared. I discussed everything with my doctor and therapist friends, who confirmed it was a typical coping mechanism for generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). go and just read it online.
I told her to do small tasks every day — workout, listen to music, stay busy, eat at regular times — and she followed my advice because she didn’t want to let me down. But even with all the effort, the fear was still overwhelming her. After some time, I told her I couldn’t force her to do this anymore, but she refused to give up. She said, “This is the time when I need you the most.” She promised she’d complete all the tasks I gave her, no matter how small.As the day of her flight approached, I took care of all the necessary arrangements—shopping, documents, flight tickets, accommodation, and everything she would need. I discussed everything with my friends in the UK who were seniors at her university. I made sure to manage even the smallest details, from power banks to toothbrushes, ensuring she wouldn’t face any issues. She would send me photos while shopping, asking which items looked good, and I would remind her of things like “take your brother with you,” “don’t be late,” “eat something,” “keep your phone charged,” and “carry a water bottle.” The day before her flight, we couldn’t talk properly because she was stressed with a lot of pending things. She called me from a shop to ask which glasses to buy, but the call got disconnected suddenly. I thought it was a network issue. I tried calling her a couple of times in the evening, but she didn’t respond. I got worried because she wasn’t answering, she was alone, and she hadn’t eaten anything. I ended up writing a long message, accusing her of not caring about me, and saying that she was just using me. She came home around 9 PM and explained that it had been raining, her hands were full with bags, her phone battery had run out, and she got locked in the washroom. She said that I hadn’t asked about her well-being or if she had eaten anything. We both realized that we were right in our own way, and we ended up getting upset with each other. She texted me later that night, saying, “I’m packing, you should sleep.” The next morning, she video-called me from the airport. We understood each other’s points of view, and I apologized for my earlier words. She also promised to take care of herself and keep me updated.
Things changed completely when she arrived there. The time zone difference made it hard to maintain long-distance communication, and she was in a completely new country, managing everything by herself. She stayed with her cousin in London for a few days to learn how things worked there. Because we couldn’t communicate often, everything started to change drastically. When we were in India, she had a strong aversion to love, marriage, children, and men. She didn’t trust anyone. But after spending time with me, she began to believe in love and in the idea that not all men are the same. She didn’t want children; instead, she wanted to adopt because she was afraid of physical intimacy. I supported her decisions and told her, “Whatever you want, it will happen as you wish. Don’t worry about convincing our parents or how things will work. Focus on your studies, and I’m here for you.” But after moving abroad, she started wearing revealing clothes, which she had never worn in India. I wasn’t against it, but my concern was that she wasn’t like this when she was in India. Her response was, “Main yha pe behen ji type banke nahi ghoom sakti, log judge karte hai baat bhi nahi karenge”
A girl who once feared love, marriage, and men, now said, “I want to explore options. I want to be a free bird. I don’t want to be tied down.” I completely understood where she was coming from—after everything she had been through, finally gaining freedom was bound to lead to such thoughts. But the things that were normal in India started to feel controlling and toxic when she was abroad. Slowly, the good morning messages started to get delayed, and we weren’t able to spend time together.
Slowly, the good morning messages started getting delayed, and she kept saying she was too busy, forgetting to stay in touch. I would notice her spending hours in the kitchen with her friends, just hanging out, phone in hand, and when I asked why she hadn’t been responsive, she’d say, “I was busy with my friends.” If I pointed out that we always ended up fighting when she was with them, she’d get defensive, claiming she had a headache and needed to leave the phone in another room. And when I scolded her for all this, she would accuse me of being toxic, saying I was rude and making her cry. While I admit there were mistakes, how I reacted to them seemed to matter more to her. She told me that if she made a mistake, I should scold her, but when I did the same, I was suddenly the bad guy. I should have noticed these patterns earlier, but my attachment and love for her kept me from seeing the issues. I kept thinking it wasn’t a big deal. Then one day, she told me she didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore. I said, “Okay, but I’d like to talk to your family once.” This made her defensive; she started seeing me as a threat.
She stopped communicating altogether, and in every argument, she reminded me that she lost interest when I accused her of using me. Her replies would come 18 hours later, and she would say, “I’m talking to my mom, go sleep.” One day, during a heated argument, I pointed out that she kept repeating the same mistakes. She said she had a headache and asked to talk tomorrow. The next day, I was blocked from everywhere. I waited a day, thinking something was wrong, but when I reached out from a different number, she blocked me again. I reached out to her mami that im her friend tell her to reach out its urgent. She(Soumya) called me back and said I told everything about you to my mother. She said block him mental peace is important. I accepted it and said, “Let me speak with her and explain my side.” But after that, she insulted me, saying I had made her life hell and “f*** off.” She blocked me again.
I reached out to her mama, but he denied knowing (Soumya) and blocked me. Later, her brother reached out to me, saying, “I’m her brother, and she told me to handle this.” I talked to him respectfully, saying, “If you’re going to talk to me as her brother, I’ll talk to you from that perspective first, then as a friend.” We talked for about two hours, with neither of us abusing the other. He said, “I hold more power over her than you, but I’m not going to intervene because I don’t want her to see me the way she sees you. But I’ll make sure you two talk at least once to sort things out.” I told him how her mom and uncle had told her to block me. I understand their emotional connection, but I also have the right to present my side. Avoiding the issue wasn’t solving anything. He told me to give her time, and that she would be okay. Four months later, I asked him if he had talked to her, and he said, “No, I’m busy. I’ll connect you in a few days.”
Twelve days later, he called me, but I was busy, so I called back a few hours later. He didn’t respond. The next day, he called, but again, I couldn’t pick up, and when I tried to return his call, he was busy and didn’t reach back. After two days without any communication, I realized that he was trying to play it safe, avoiding conflict to protect his sister. So, I deleted his number, and he did the same with mine.I’ve come to realize that I need to teach them something, because the whole family operates the same way. They constantly ignore, hide, and avoid, and while they’re all well-educated, with master’s degrees and PhDs, none of them have any real humanity. They just see it as normal and think, “What can he do?” If I think about her, I would like to forgive her because of everything she’s been through in her life—it brings tears to my eyes. But when I think about her mother, brother, mama, and the rest of the family, I feel the need to teach them a big lesson. I don’t want to hold grudges, but I know that if I don’t, it’ll only boost their egos and make them avoid and ignore even more things in the future. There’s a loop of trauma that you can’t recover from until you confront it, and the outcomes can be catastrophic.
She wants to hide her past from her partner. She never wanted to marry in the first place, but she can’t say no to her parents, so she feels forced to do it. And if she does marry, she’s afraid of physical intimacy. How will this all turn out in the future? Just go and read the research on it. There is always someone who will accept you for who you are, with all your baggage. I was one of those people, but hiding your past only makes things worse. She had this fear that I might reveal her past to her family, so blocking me and silently killing my image by labeling me toxic was easier for her. Much easier than facing her own truths. What happened to her was never in her control. But how she treated me was her conscious choice (after boosting up her ego by her mother). life always remembers our choices, not our excuses.
People who survive pain in life end up becoming two kinds of people:
1. Either they heal others.
2. Or they hurt others.
I still believe that she is a strong woman. she will do well in life. But strength isn’t about running away from problems. It’s about facing them—truthfully, with clarity and communication. Because life has one rule: Whatever we avoid today comes back tomorrow, and it comes back in a bigger way. Remember, everything in life comes at a price. Silence has a price. Assumptions have a price. Breaking trust has a price. Someday, life will put us all in front of a mirror. And I hope that when that day comes, she is at peace with her choices.
I know this is a lot to read, but I hope you can understand. When I think about her, I just want to talk once and end things on a good note, because before anything else—friends, partners, brothers, parents—we are all humans. It’s okay that things didn’t work out, but at least respect the situation. But when I think about her family, I feel like I need to take legal action because I have all the proof—call records, photos, and chats—showing how her family handled everything. If they started this game, I should be the one to end it. When I wanted to communicate, they wouldn’t listen, so if I take action and they end up paying the price, I shouldn’t have to listen to their complaints.
I know the law well, and they can accuse me of anything, but if there’s cheating in the game, I’m not the type of person to sit back. I didn’t build everything I have by being passive. It’s all come from hard work, persistence, and the mindset of bringing people together. That’s what will take you far in life. History repeats itself. We keep making the same mistakes until we learn from them. And we learn when we face them, when we accept them, not when we avoid or ignore them. Her father is living in her in-laws’ house and can’t do much because of health issues, so the family is dominated by women. Can a woman really tackle things logically? Her grandmother was like this, and that’s where her trauma started, which eventually manifested as migraines. Her mother did the same thing, and now, her daughter is repeating the same pattern.
I’m open to suggestions. Should I take legal action? Should I reach out to her? Or should I wait patiently for the right time to expose them? No mother or woman would ever allow her daughter to share her past, and in this case, it wasn’t even her fault, but carrying that trauma has made others’ lives hell. Where is our country headed? We all know the answer. That’s why, when I think about her, I can forgive her because of my love and respect for her. But when I think about her family, I feel compelled to do something, because if I don’t, they’ll ruin someone else’s life and never accept their own mistakes. Her mother is the biggest red flag in this entire story, and the worst part is, her mother is her ideal. -
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MThis is just too much to read for reddit paygrade and not being a jerk but prima facie of the first paragraph, it looks kinda childish.
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SBro, you have some issues.. the only good thing is that you already have a psychologist friend. Get your weekly sessions started and you should be fine in 70 – 80 sessions
When a person ignores you for whatever reason and doesn’t owe you any money, let them go. A final talk to end things not required
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