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UI’m a 29M seeking legal advice regarding my F26 who is facing severe mental health challenges. She feels suicidal almost every week and has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Her condition is further aggravated by past trauma caused by her family members.
This has been happening since the early days of our 4-year relationship. She’s attempted to overdose on pills several times (as she’s told me), and this behavior has worsened in the past few months to the extent that it now feels manipulative. Due to this, my mental health is deteriorating, and I’ve been struggling to concentrate on my daily tasks, leading to poor performance at work.
I’ve tried everything, including suggesting therapy and counseling sessions, but nothing seems to help.
I’m deeply concerned about her safety and well-being and want to know what legal options or protections are available to support her. Additionally, I want to safeguard myself in case she decides to take drastic actions.
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Unot a legal adviser here , par ek simple si baat hai
jab pata tha ki ladki ko traumas hai , aur tumse khud bhi nhi sambhlenge usme traumas to fir kyu bnayi bandi ?? agar nahi sambhal Rahi thi to banayi kyu. agar tum uski insecurity settle nhi kar sakte , ulta khud bhi struggle kar rahe , then you aren’t for relationship bhai.
drastic actions agR usne kara to sabse pehle uska phone check hoga aur usme tum dikhoge bas. isse accha dono milke situation sort out karo
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UFaltu comment hai. Bohot se logo ko nahi pata ki bpd kitna serious ho sakta hei.ye trauma ya insecurity nahi ek mental disorder hai, relationship ke start me koi nahi bolega ki mujhe bpd hai, log chupa lete hai kyuki bata dia to koi relationship nahi karega. Youre just making dumb assumptions here
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WSlowly distance yourself from her. Become the most annoying man on this planet.
Doc here. Unless she’s on proper meds, nothing is changing.
You have zero recourse incase she does something to herself so best to exit the picture.-
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UIgnore him. My wife has borderline personality and I can see the similarities with your s/o. It’s a chronic condition which may or may not be able to be treated. If you plan on continuing with your s/o then just keep supporting them whatever the case. A psychiatric evaluation will be helpful where they may be able to provide alternate treatments like ketamine infusion, electro convulsive therapy (if it’s very serious). Most likely she’ll need to be started on medication but most important of all of these is behavioral therapy. Living with someone with bpd is tough, I understand, but if they feel like there’s no support or hope to live then there’s high chances of self harm. So your continued support will be crucial.
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WHis mental health is declining. His day to day is being affected. Not everyone is equipped to be with someone with BPD.
He’s not asking how he can stay with his partner, his question is how can he safeguard himself legally incase she commits suicide.
If God forbid she commits suicide and her family named him in a case or something, the poor guy is done for.
Also if he does stay with her & she’s not willing to be compliant with medication and therapy, all of this is pointless.
Patients with BPD are often non-compliant with medication. I have had this patients tell me that they feel lifeless and dead. They crave and miss the mania.
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AFrom a legal perspective, I think prescription of medicine and reports of doctors as well as vedio of therepy sessions will help
From a not legal perspective man take care of her
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UIf it has reached the extent where it’s affecting your mental health , it’s time to reconsider if it’s worth it. Take care of yourself too man.
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UNot an advocate and not providing an opinion wrt law/legality and maybe this is derailing the topic, but…
Saying this as someone who has been clinically diagnosed with both adhd and BPD, there’s really nothing you can do. Nothing at all. Don’t be manipulated. No one is entitled to fuck up your mental health just because theirs is fked as well. I may be an exception but not the norm, though I have learnt to just cope with it in a way where I don’t let it affect me. Though it came with a cost that I have almost 0 friends, I don’t socialize with my colleagues and basically just want to be left alone but it really takes toll on you. If it weren’t for mere luck or presence of drugs (I don’t advocate for it, please that stuff is poison) I’d have been successful in so many attempts of offing myself but I just survived somehow. Issue is, you really would never be able to see things from her perspective and how it feels to be suffering from this and she would never be able to comprehend that because you can’t be in her shoes even from psychological perspective, how it hampers your mental health. Trust me, love me XYZ kar jaunga, if you truly love her you won’t abandon her, etc…sounds good in movies and television but we live in REAL world where everything has real consequences. If things has turned so sour for you that you are asking for legal advice on it, it’s time to leave. You can really do nothing no matter how much you love her.
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UHey, I don’t have any advice from the legal side but from my personal experience. U probably held on all this time hoping that ur presence will bring about a change and u can help her and u can endure it all for her sake and yeah I did the same too but nothing worked out and it got so much harder for me and my emotions were all over the place and I was emotionally manipulated too.
But I let him go. It was really hard but I let him go for my mental and emotional well-being and we both went on with our lives. It was hard for me but i learned to move on and let him go.
So think of yourself too, of how long u can continue like this and lose all semblance of yourself in trying to make the one u love with all ur heart better. If u think it’s worth it, stay. If not, then leave. And like u have said, if u stay n she does the unthinkable it’ll come back to u negatively. Ur mental and emotional load will increase a thousandfold.
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UDid you have similar patterns in your relationship? What did you do when they gave you suicide threats?
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UI was seeing someone who was diagnosed with Bipolar and had severe ADHD. We were in a long-distance relationship. We met once for a week and then went back to our home cities. He also started having “attachment anxiety attacks” if that’s the correct term.
He used to always cry that he’ll take his life (due to xyz reasons – his financial condition, family, etc).
I got him into therapy, paid for his sessions, he didn’t attend them.Eventually, I told him, his mental health is affecting my work, career and emotional health. I’ve been trying my best to help him, but he doesn’t want to accept the help and cry wolf. I put my foot down and broke up with him.
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UA little bit similar. It was my ex best friend. He had suicidal thoughts and did drugs cos of it and he’d call me up n tell me he wants to die n all…
When he talks about that I’d talk to him tell him there’s more n I’m there and all those things, sometimes contacted his friends to cheer him up if I can’t meet him… Went on for like 3 years. But it took a serious toll on my mental n emotional health too.
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UFree legal advice.
Safeguard yourself first. Im sure you dont want reverse SSR case happening to you.
I get it she’s your girlfriend and all but as things are, you’ll be in the middle of mess anytime soon.
Best recourse i can tell you from the stated facts is
1. Speak to her counsellor about your concerns. Firstly s/he will guide you better on her condition. Also it will get you a witness if something happens to your girlfriend
2. Videotape things so that you have your proofs of innocence
3. Make yourself out of the situation and cut contact eventually. I’ve seen cases where partners are dragged into the cases by families as they don’t have anyone else to blame-
WYou deserve an award for this advice! This post isn’t about emotions. It’s about the practicality of the situation.
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UBorderline personality disorder is a really challenging mental health condition. It can cause instability and severe distress not just in the individual, but also their friends and family. Speaking from personal experience, I can understand how challenging it can be to help, and how much courage you must have to even try.
Truth be told, the world is a tough place, and sometimes we try to control it. This works on occasion, but with mental health disorders, external advisors can make little difference in someone’s life. They must have that small part of them that isn’t controlled by the disorder in order to seek help, and the best you can do is try to help them find that small part. If for whatever reason they can’t – you must accept the helplessness.
I would recommend you find a therapist for yourself – understand they way things have made you feel and discuss your legal concerns with them. Wishing you happiness
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UBro..tell her to do yoga and meditation. Take her to Isha yoga centre and I’m damn sure it will help her to have freedom from this disease.
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UBrooo I’m damn serious. Yoga can do wonders for your physical and mental health. Give it a try before judging it. I’m saying this because I have tasted the beauty of yoga and it did wonders for me.
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UNAL
You’re in an incredibly tough spot, and I get why you’re looking at this from both an emotional and legal standpoint. First, for her safety…if she’s actively suicidal, emergency intervention is crucial. You might want to contact a crisis helpline or a mental health professional who can guide you on immediate steps. In some places, you can even request a wellness check if you’re concerned about her harming herself.
From a legal standpoint, things get tricky. You’re not responsible for her actions, but if she’s making threats of self-harm and involving you in them, it’s important to document everything…texts, calls, any incidents where she’s expressed suicidal intent. This isn’t just for legal protection but also to show a consistent pattern if professional intervention is needed.
If her behavior is becoming manipulative and affecting your mental health, you have to consider setting boundaries. Supporting someone doesn’t mean sacrificing your well-being. If you ever need to step away from the relationship for your own safety, having documentation can also help in case of false accusations.
A lawyer or mental health professional could guide you through any legal safeguards that exist in your region—whether it’s involuntary psychiatric evaluation laws or protective measures for yourself. But the main thing is, you can’t be her sole lifeline. She needs professional help, and you need to protect your own mental health too.
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BBlock her number and run. The consequences can be very extreme such as facing a false case, facing a suicide case etc but nothing is worth facing the trauma you are facing now.
Change your address, job, anything that might connect with her and just disappear. That is the only way.
If possible take help of a lawyer to give an Intimation in local police Station about everything that has been happening, it will save a lot of hassle later on -
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UYou don’t need to distance yourself from her. You love her and you should care for her if you have the energy but you should still keep medical reports, screenshots etc because if she harms herself her parents may blame you for everything. Maybe try talking to them. Rest I hope you get advice from some medical doctor and her condition gets treated. Best of luck to you both
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Utake a break from her, give her space and take your own space, you cant fix stuff like this. Things have a way to get better when you take yourself out of “problem solver” role. You may thing she wont make it without you, but sometimes your presence is probably what gives them a subconscious signal to remain in her state.
My take comes from own experiences, you take a measured call based on your assessment. All the best -
UHi brother, having bpd myself and knowing how unpredictable I am even on my basic days, I’d suggest you end things with her. I had to end things with a girl I liked because I got worse over time. She tried to be there but she was just as much hurting. It wasn’t fair.
Point is You deserve better, man. Get out of this. It’s not your responsibility to help her. It’s HERS.
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UNAL.
But seeing the comments here i felt the need to write this:BPD is the most misunderstood, most stigmatized condition, especially in india.
Most therapists will diagnose women with BPD ( unfixable, crazy) and men with the same issues with CPTSD ( more socially acceptable term).But BPD actually is a very treatable condition that gets better with the access to the right meds AND therapy. You can look up stats on this. Don’t believe the morons who say it “never gets better”. It really depends on the person, their therapist and the amount of support they have.
But there are hard facts:
1. If you don’t want to support someone through this it’s your choice.
2. Support involves a lot of work. Setting boundaries to protect yourself and her. You will need to get a therapist to intervene and also an extended support system.
3. Be aware that ANYONE can develop mental health issues due to life circumstances( including you). Treat people the way you would like to be treated.
Consider options like not being in a relationship, but just staying friends IF you care about the person.
Or just calling her family/ support system and informing them that she is in a critical space & needs support apart from you.My point being, there are ways for you to safeguard your mental health without completely abandoning her.
4. At the same time, see how she reacts to you saying that you need space.
Not all people with BPD are nuts…they will listen to reason. You need to be firm that she needs to take responsibility for her treatment. If you are worried about things going south, get more people involved and stage an intervention. -
UOp please save yourself. I had some experience with dating pwBPD for nearly a year. Please consider to distance yourself from her. Until she accepts proper treatment and willing to change the emotional turbulence and roller coaster dynamics and manipulations are going to get worst. In the end she might held you accountable for all of her life tragedy. Please reconsider your limits and investments in the relationship before its too late.
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Ur/bpdlovedones was an eye opener for me. It might be of some help to you too to see that there’s more of us.
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RHere’s a sneak peek of /r/BPDlovedones using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/BPDlovedones/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
#1: [Read that again.](https://i.redd.it/e53dhg9eem5a1.jpg) | [98 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/BPDlovedones/comments/1b189vc/read_that_again/)
#2: [Might as well be a BPD too, actually it is 🤣](https://i.redd.it/w5rfos6mmjqd1.jpeg) | [112 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/BPDlovedones/comments/1fnhzse/might_as_well_be_a_bpd_too_actually_it_is/)
#3: [Their inability to see the damage they cause is crazy-making](https://i.redd.it/qyrvqjll9ekc1.jpeg) | [69 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/BPDlovedones/comments/1ayapvn/their_inability_to_see_the_damage_they_cause_is/)—-
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