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I’m 21M, and life at home has been unbearable for the past few years. My dad (58) has serious narcissistic and schizophrenic tendencies. He never listens, constantly accuses my mom (48) of cheating, stealing money, and even physically harming him. He verbally abuses her, controls her every move, and doesn’t even let her step outside alone.
At night, he wakes up randomly, comes into my room, and goes through my phone, bank transactions, and even my books to see what I’ve written. He watches everything I do, picks fights over nothing, and says disgusting things. It’s like living in a prison.
# the financial problems:
* My dad retired last year, and we were supposed to buy a flat with his retirement money. We even booked one, paid **5 lakh** in advance, but then out of nowhere, he canceled it, claiming the place had prostitution going on (it was a brand-new building).
* We lost all that money, and now, even though he has enough to buy a good home, he refuses. Instead, he wants us to move to some random town where we know no one, which makes zero sense.
* He acts like the money is his alone and barely gives us enough for basic survival (just groceries and essentials).
* Meanwhile, he spends his time watching porn and scrolling through reels of young girls while expecting us to serve him for life.# We Tried Everything
* We took him to a doctor, but he refuses to take meds, saying he knows better than everyone.
* We called his relatives for help, but instead of supporting us, they blamed my mom.
* Any logical conversation with him turns into a fight—he refuses to change, compromise, or even listen.# We’re Stuck – What Can We Do?
We barely have enough money left to buy a flat, and my dad keeps wasting what little we do have. Every day feels suffocating, and we have nowhere to go.
Has anyone been through something like this? Any advice on what we can do? We’re desperate for a way out of this.
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PI’m so sorry OP! What are the possibilities of you and your mom separating from him? Did you finish your education yet? Do you or your mom have a job or enough savings to sustain yourself for a couple of months? I think relying on your mom’s side of relatives (if they’re supportive enough) would give you two strength to manage this chaos.
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BAlso be careful he is anyway your father so it’s morally wrong also. But if it’s your servival then go for it.
It’s duty on father to look after his family not just giving bare minimum but also fulfill family needs as per legal terms
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HIf your father has been medically diagnosed with schizophrenia by a qualified doctor, your mother may seek a divorce and claim maintenance for herself. As a major male child, you are not entitled to maintenance.
Also, your father’s earnings are his own, accumulated through a lifetime of work. You have no legal claim or authority over how he uses his money. If you have problems then become financially independent and move out of your father’s house.
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PSorry i don’t in the slightest have interest in his savings, as i said we have been living on rent for all my life. so my father doesn’t really have a house. and yes the goal is to be financially independent, i’m still studying tho.
about being diagnosed the doctor said he has schizophrenia in verbal way. but has not written it in diagnosis (written only suspicion)
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Pwe did try, but he’s very paranoid of food made in home, he double checks rice, rotis n everything, like seeing garlic in dal. . .later he makes a scene about it.
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