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PI’m 35, and my wife (29) and I have two wonderful kids, an 8-year-old son and a 5-year-old daughter. For the past 3.5 years, our marriage hasn’t felt like one, and recently, my worst fears were confirmed.
I caught my wife red-handedly living with another man. It seems this has been going on for a while, possibly a long-term affair. He has his own family and children too. The house owner provided me with a copy of a rental agreement for their place, which is in the boyfriend’s name, and my wife signed as a witness. The owner also gave me CCTV footage.
To make things even more complicated, I’ve recently learned that my mother-in-law is also allegedly involved in an extramarital affair. This has left me feeling completely shattered.
My children are my world, and I absolutely cannot imagine a life without them. My priority is their well-being. I want to fight for their custody.
Adding another layer of difficulty, my wife has filed a Domestic Violence Case (DVC) against me, which is currently pending.
Given this situation, I’m desperate for advice on how to proceed. What are my legal options for gaining custody of my children? How will the affair and the pending DVC case impact my chances? What steps should I take immediately to protect my children and my rights? Any insights or similar experiences shared would be immensely helpful during this incredibly tough time.
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UNAL. Consult one.
Here are your options:
1. file for divorce based on the evidence you have. At that point, the DV and all other cases will be closed (you still need to file for quashing of she filed 498).2. Reconcile and stay in a dead marriage knowing your spouse may cheat again.
I’d question the legitimacy of the children. I know it’s tough to hear, but recently there are cases where the court has accepted the testing.
As for alimony- if she has a job, she will not be given much. You will be asked to pay child support. Custody wise, unless the mom is mentally unfit, she will be awarded custody. There’s not much you can do to protect your children. Now, if your children tell the judge they want to stay with you, you maybe able to keep custody.
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AFirst of all, i hope your wife gets cancer. She seems like a horrible female. Secondly, since you said your children are 8 and 5, children above 5 can express their preference in court as to which parent they wanna be with, however this is not the sole deciding factor. The court will have to be sure that they are matured enough to understand their choice. So I wouldn’t be too sure about this. If I were you, I would tell them about how terrible their mother is and try to get them to your side but don’t be compulsive with them. Tell them how she cheated on you and her family and betrayed you guys.
We also have to keep in mind that the law is heavily biased towards females when it comes to divorce and custody. A man is almost helpless in such cases. Another piece of bad news is that in most cases, affairs don’t directly affect custody unless-
The affair poses a moral risk or unsafe environment for the child.
There’s evidence that the mother has abandoned her responsibilities.
The child has been exposed to inappropriate behavior or neglect.
If you can prove this then you may have a chance. Evidence like cctv footage, texts, etc. can be **critical** in arguing that your wife is not in a stable or appropriate environment to raise the children.
The DV case does complicate thngs. However, if you can prove it’s baseless and false, it may actually work out in your favour later.
File for divorce immediately on the ground of cruelty. Apply for injunction to prevent her from seeing your children or from running away with them. Most importantly collect as much evidence as you can.
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WNAL . Get CCTV n call recorder in your home. Collect every proof possible against your mil and wife and approach good lawyer . Hopefully he will able to prove it’s a fake DV case . Do not humiliate her in-front of your family or other family about her affairs else this will turn into a mess. Do not compromise and stay in marriage for sake of kids raised in broken home
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DHi. I’m a lawyer here. Sorry to hear about your situation. Can empathise with your concerns, legal and otherwise. About the rest, please do gather as much evidence against her, as you can. The law is mostly women-centric, so it’ll be your lifeboat, in some ways for sure. Got some queries, would be glad to guide you through.
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PHer staying seprate with the affair partner could be a bonus to your legal situation , put time in finding a better lawyer
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AWhy do you post on reddit instead of talking to a good lawyer? Wont he be able you guide you on everything?
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A75% of the people here are not lawyers who base most things from news and even for those who say they are, how sure can you be? Yours seems like a serious case, I highly advise you to just take a good lawyers help instead of opinions and just listen to him. He will be able to help you a great deal and also give you some comfort.
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AGet a good lawyer. Keep a tab on everything. Get maximum support, especially from women near you. Connect with Deepika Bhardwaz on X. Best wishes. Your children will be used against you. Use your power, the smart cunning Vishnu power inside you. Don’t drink and call her. Don’t respond to her or any of her shit eating family. God bless. Be ready for battle.
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KNAL
Sorry to hear what you’re going through. Gather as much evidence as possible and get a GOOD lawyer who doesn’t shy away from fighting it out in court. You may not get full custody but you can push things in court enough tht she settles eventually for a joint custody agreement (these things always invariably get settled outside or through mediation)
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QGet DVC registered on boy friend by his wife. You both form a team and tell you wife, “what ever fuck you do to me, I will do the same to your boy friend through his wife”. Agree for mutual divorce, kid custody.
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NSorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, just because she has an affair the courts will not rule her out of the custody arrangement especially since your kids are small. It sucks, but that is the law of the land.
But you definitely have an upper hand in requesting joint custody. Show the court the proof of the affair and hire a good lawyer to argue on your behalf.
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MBe realistic. Do you really think your wife will let go of her children without putting up a fight? More cases are incoming. I would suggest you to not rely solely on the courts and law for justice. Try some out of court methods. Use your imagination.
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WIn cases like this you got to do something to get their nerves on. If she has a brother get a false rape case filed against her brother, father by some women. If she isn’t interested in her family now then target her boyfriend. Put her on the backfoot and make her come to the negotiation table.
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P1. For the custody of your children – File a case under G&WC asking for sole custody of children, reason being the mother leading an adulterous life with other man/ men. Keep the CCTV footage & rental agreement saved. The court considers the welfare of the children to be the paramount while deciding the custody cases.
2. After filing the custody case, contact her paramour’s wife and inform her about the affair.
3. In the domestic violence case, make a submission with these evidences of her having illicit relationship with another married man. [https://divorcebylaw.com/cruelty-against-husband/](https://divorcebylaw.com/cruelty-against-husband/)
4. file a divorce case on the ground of cruelty (filing the DV Case & other incidents of cruelty), Adultery, and any other relevant ground. [https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/](https://divorcebylaw.com/best-contested-divorce-lawyers-in-bangalore/)
IMPORTANT POINT – when a spouse is caught cheating, the other spouse ought to take action immediately. If you delay or confront her/ him first and then give some time for them to regret or settle things, the adulterous spouse somehow takes upper hand and all the blame game ensues. They get enough time to convince the family, friends & children to believe them and make the other spouse guilty. People who live in adultery generally have a very cheap character.
5. For further clarification feel free to contact us [https://g.co/kgs/emPyXMT](https://g.co/kgs/emPyXMT)
**Disclaimer:** In the absence of all the facts of the case, the comments given may not be the best solution for your case. One on one consultation with a legal counsel/ advocate is advised to get better guidance.
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FNAL. You need a lawyer. Plan everything down to the minutae. Have a backup plan, and a backup backup plan. Steel yourself. Steel yourself for the tiring battle ahead, long and weary mudslinging surely. It will be draining, mentally and physically but the casus belli is their doing, lay waste to them till the end.
I usually lurk but these days, I see news of men breaking often. The easiest way out is not the only way out. Be strong, if not for yourself, for your kids.
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