- This topic has 41 replies, 38 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
SWe have been married for 15 Years, have 2 kids. We both work in IT. She cheated for over 6 months with a co-worker. But, right now, I don’t have proofs that can be presented in court to prove adultery. What’s the best possible way to separate ?
Local lawyers are suggesting Contested divorce ( I suspect since they charge more for contested divorce compared to mutual divorce ) but since I don’t have solid proof, contested divorce could take long time and not go in my way. Is better to talk to her and convince her for mutual divorce ?
What can I do to make divorce favorable to me ? in terms of maintenance and child custody ? Kids are 4 and 6 years old. I earn about 10L per year more than her.
I have a flat on my name that I bought before marriage and most other assets are in Mutual Funds that are invested on my name. Some of these Mutual Funds were bought with her money as well. Some assets in Crypto as well.
Please guide.
-
-
-
SWhat you have in your hand are only suspicions and not proofs. Reading your notes, no one can conclude conclusively that your wife is cheating. Not sure courts will entertain!
-
-
SIn India, it is extremely difficult to prove adultery. Courts are mostly sympathetic towards the girl.
Now for your case, hire a detective. Do this for your peace of mind (I know ironical) and to show her the proofs. You can even visit the hotel on your own. Try to make friends with the receptionist and offer some money to get cctv footage or register entry. Every hotel is required by law to possess id proofs of guests. (Everything is available for sale in our corrupt country if you know how and whom to approach).
Once you have those, and you decide to separate sit with her calmly, ask her what she has been upto. Then try to separate on mutually amicable terms. Do not try to involve legal in between, again saying Indian courts are completely biased towards the girl and this especially is true as you move above from lower to HC to SC.
Now, another angle as a devil’s advocate. It may just be a figment of your imagination. she may be visiting a chai tapri etc nearby or some hotel for a good meal with coworkers. Tread with caution.
-
-
-
QMan marriages are getting scary day by day. 15 years of marriage. Damn bro. I send power to you. I would have been hurting like hell bro.
-
-
RDon’t rush into anything, if she is having an affair,she will get back to u and ask for a divorce, normally woman having a fling will stop having a with u , but in this case she has not stopped, there must be some thing missing in your marriage, check what it is, or else pretend to book a ticket to Thailand and keep a tab of her activities by tracking the vehicle or phone.
-
-
-
-
-
UI went through something similar. I wish I could tell you an easy way out but there are none. It’s easy for people to say her PI and Divorce etc but everything is just torture, soon families will get involved and just add to the trauma.
Send legal paper for mutual separation agreement, list adultery as a reason (no need to provide proof or anything) just keep saying you have ample proof. See her reaction, and take it from there.
-
-
BReading cases like these often, the result of all is men gets fkd up financially no matter what!
If u transfer ownership of assets before filing divorce itll actually favour your wife and she will get almost majority (sometimes all) part of ur assets even if u transfer it to your mom!
Just liquidate all ur assets to gold and put in in safe cold storage somewhere already. Its better to lose few lakhs in liquidation process than losing everything to her. Dont let her know anything untill u liquidated all of your assets. Untill liquidating ur flat, rent a luxury condo so that she doesn’t dig deep into why u guys moving out of flat.
-
-
-
-
-
CBe a lion. Do u know how lions hunt? It’s definitely not like in bollywood movies where the hero challenges openly. Lions hide and wait for the perfect opportunity to strike. Hire a pvt detective. And track her locations she visits. Once she is in a hotel/room with her partner catch them there.
FYI – while catching don’t go alone. Take some people with you. Use a bodycam to record while they are in bed and you caught them. And make a scene out of it, shout at the top of your voice infront of everyone (so loud that neighbours come quickly) while they lay naked in bed. And make sure that it is viral. Congratulations friend you just proved adultery. The question is will our shameless judiciary still bother you or leave you for that you need a good lawyer.
-
-
UYou don’t have proof or any evidence I don’t believe shes cheating just based on what you have lol hire someone for a week to investigate and watch her moves when you’re 100% sure and see her with a man or have text proof then I suggest you liquidate everything and buy gold bars and hide them then proceed with divorce
-
-
-
-
-
-
ROP
Get more details of the co worker and his mobile number etc and get call details of the same period for him to see that they both are in the same location at the same time.This is just for your sadistic trip, not going to help legally.
Unless you are able to convince court to get these call records officially (they are available for 2 years) and then try to use it as evidence but merely present at the same location at same time implies nothing.Ask your PI to click pictures etc and you try to get her mobile phone or take photos or screen recording and get hotel check in records and try to bribe etc and get hotel CCTV recording … but all these are little far fetched
Imp: proving adultery in court is almost impossible
Very rare casesHave you talked to her or tried some counselling maybe it’s something else since by your message it looks more like your suspicion or intuition etc
Have you tried to engage with families and or society people to sort outMutually is only when she also agrees but may also back out
Maintence would have to be paid irrespective of anything. Take care black coat brothers will tell her to file bouquet of 3-4 cases and they all will end up in out of court settlement but after harassment and tension etc
but not to worry much since your wedding is 15 years unless you had issues problems earlier and she reported them to police or called 112 or hospital MLC etc she won’t be able to cause you much harm 15 years is long time and mostly takes out the fizz of all legal cases per se.
I again suggest you both need to have counselling, to sort out amongst yourself first- courts will also refer you first for counselling and then mediation before the cases start moving fwd
-
-
-
-
USo true that it has to be paranoia.
Especially below actions really confirms that it is his paranoia and nothing else.
”
Initial sings of cheating that led me to suspect cheating :
She mentioned couple of times that she feels, she is doing something wrong but not sure what. when I asked few times – she gave me different answer each time.
Out of blue, She mentioned that she doesn’t want this family to break.
On few occasions – during sex, she avoided kissing me
Out of blue, she suggested that I should go on a vacation in Thailand alone.
“
-
-
-
EFirst of all create a trust and transfer all property into that trust. The beneficiaries of the trust could be your parents and kids. Always keep your wife also as a beneficiary so that she couldn’t claim that you transferred whole property before divorce.
( visit a lawyer to know and plan about all this trust thing)After the above step completion start accumulating proofs. If you think you have enough proofs then gather more proofs just in case…
Only after all this let her know that you got this proofs and want to mutually divorce.
-
JGet a voice-activated recorder. Put it in her car or in the house when you are not there.
You have to get proof before confronting her. Do not do it without the proof. She will deflect and gaslight you. What you currently have is nothing. It will not stand in court.
To prove infidelity, Indian courts need evidence of physical intimacy.
Being a male, odds are stacked against you in terms of custody and alimony. Going for divorce without proof puts in a very difficult situation. Try to convince her for mutual divorce for sure, but only after getting proper proof.
PIs in India are useless and almost a scam.
Again! Do not confront without evidence and never show her the full evidence. You can tell her what you know but don’t show it to her if possible.
-
-
SAsk her in for mutual consent speak your mind to see if she can agree, if not you have these options (a) Open marriage (b) Keep your own side pieces (c) Hold on until kids are of age for legal separation and you don’t burn much (d) To hell with all options go for contested separation if you are still willing to still burn. Good luck
-
UBro talk it out maybe she isn’t cheating but she’s been mentally fkdup so she did such things if she feels guilty it’s ok to start a never life again but if she don’t think so then go ahead and if she don’t want this family to break ask her what you can not provide don’t be a jerk maybe you missed something she wanted and also one thing be mature divorce is not the way and be honest that you aren’t cheating her cuz u might be doing it and making things worse : uk sometimes a deep understanding talk can do the thing forgive her and give her one chance maybe she changes and you also don’t make her feel lies be respectful
-
-
