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BI completely understand why you had an affair, speaking from personal experience.
At this point recovery seems a far cry, because this woman is too smart.If money is not an issue then better quit the case. Because in a way you’re fighting a case since you’re still emotionally attached to that woman. Move on, there are better things to do in life.
Repair relationship with your wife if possible or get separated and find a partner (easier said than done). Hope you find happiness!
BIf you’re in a firm which is governed by policy frameworks, then this would be easy. Evidence gathering wouldn’t be your job, you and your other colleague just need to report this and the concerned team will take care.But if there no clear policies or HR, think before you take any steps. The guy may just be given a warning but the boss will become toxic to you. No one likes a scandal in their team. I am not discouraging you, but just making aware of what you can get into.
BHire a private detective (there is Sleuths) and get more evidence on her. Talk to a good lawyer (take references from people).Understand that divorces are won (figuratively) by good lawyers and it doesn’t matter which party is in the wrong. If you don’t want to spend money on alimony and maintenance, spend good money on getting a lawyer and private detective. Speaking from personal experience.
