Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
PRecord everything, keep it on the downlow, then once you have enough evidence, you will need to discuss this with a legal professional or a trusted friend if the former is not an option for you. I don’t know the situation intimately, but what you are describing looks like coercive control, which is a form of domestic violence in some legal jurisdictions. Describe in detail to the professional or trusted person about the situation and come up with an action plan to escape from this situation and put yourself in a position to defend yourself against reputational damage and further psychological (possibly physical) harm. If you have kids, then it becomes more complicated and professional advice would be absolutely critical in that case! I would act on this as soon as possible.
It makes sense that she would begin to overtly abuse you and your family after the marriage has been sealed. Now that it is more difficult to get up and leave, she has less of a reason to keep up the nice person act to control and manipulate you. I’m making assumptions here, but was she also abusive when you first met, or was she someone who was very nice, friendly and seemed incredibly wholesome?
If it is the latter, then I’m afraid the longer you stay with her, the worse her behavior will get. It is a downward spiral with more brazen controlling and manipulation, which will only cause long-term harm in the long run. Even before you got married, it’s not unreasonable to think that she may have been manipulating and controlling your decisions in a more subtle way. This could be from doing this and attributing it from the angle of being excessively worried about your wellbeing and safety. There would have been subtle pressuring to get married quickly, move in quickly, and make other big decisions unusually quick. Not saying this is the case in your situation, but this is generally how coercive control develops. The domestic violence reporting threat also comes across as projection, because she is doing exactly that to your family.
What is certain is that she is blackmailing you with your reputation to financially benefit from you. I would strongly consider lawyering up to protect yourself. Hope that all goes well.
