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RHi OP, I’m in similar situation. There are unfortunately next to none legal options available for us. (I’m not sure if there could be some provisions for you as a woman, not a legal expert. But I’ve none as a man). But we really need to fight for our freedom. They will never realise that we are our own separate person. There is absolutely no shame and judgment in planning to go no contact with them. If that is possible, work towards it. I know its scoffed off in our culture but fuck this culture man, this is a ripe breeding ground for abuse and trauma. Are you seeing any therapist or counselor? I recommend you do it if that is possible for you. Also you might want to look into enmeshment to learn if that is the case with your family dynamics. It is possible to get out of it. Its hard and it will take time but fight for your freedom and life, you deserve it.RI just have a hunch that your parents are not innocent in this, they have a part to play in his situation now. Having said that, I’m not condoning your brother’s behaviour. He needs to pick himself up. If he takes therapy seriously then he might be able to process his issues. But at this stage it seems unlikely. I’m not a lawyer, so I’m not sure what legal options you have in such a case. If his violent behaviour continues then you have an option to make a police complaint for domestic abuse, although I’m not sure about that. I see two possible options. One is that your father/parents kick him out and let him figure things out on his own. Second option is you find an opportunity to get away from this environment and focus on your life first.RThank you for your reply. I wasn’t aware of Succession Act, I’ll look into it more and see if it can be an option for me.
As for living independently, I’m trying that, but it is not going to be easy. He had taken loans on my names to pay off his other debts plus had made me a guarantor for a huge housing loan. We went through hell to pay it off so at least that is gone for now. Some of the loans taken on my name are still there and he’s not paying any attention to them. He only stopped taking loans on my name after the CIBIL score suffered and nobody was willing to offer loans. I wish the score stays down, I don’t care about credit scores anymore. On top of all this, he has made me borrow money from private lenders like my former employers, friends, colleagues etc. Fortunately they are understanding so they won’t harass me but technically the money is owed by my father, not me as I didn’t use any of it. Besides this, he as obviously taken money from who knows how many people. Some of them have harassed us before, but we managed to pay them off slowly over the years, so that has stopped for now. There are still huge debts from his failed business and yet he still keeps borrowing money from here and there and blames us for not being able to pay. He is incapable of taking responsibility of creating this situation in the first place, so he does the easy thing, that is blame and shame other family members. Sometimes he does threaten and emotionally blackmails with suicide but I’m not sure if he has it in him to really do that. Still it is a huge risk and cannot be taken lightly. I don’t know what to do. Today was yet another such day.
Some well wishers I’ve spoken to all tell me that I need to live away from him and focus on my life. I agree and working on it, but as I said, because of all these complications, its hard. I already stopped giving him any money and not planning to sign on any more loans or any other financial entanglements. Saving and investing is difficult at this moment as I barely survive on my current income. Looking for a better job now, hope I find something that will allow me to move away.
RI misread kicking out of will as kicking me out. In that case, I don’t want anything from him either. Neither the loans nor the assets. I just want to live my life without this messRI’d be happy if he kicks me out but he’s not going to do that because he needs me and I’m also stuck in this. He’s very controlling and needs to control everyone’s lives. I’m trying to move out but its hard due to the financial situation. Is there any legal procedure that would protect me from incurring his debts in case of worst scenario?
