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SYour problem here is that you’re still seeing her as an outsider, which is true for you since your mother is irreplaceable firstly, and secondly you never could foster a bond with your step mom seeing as how things unfolded post your mother’s demise.
But you have to take a step back and try to see things from her point of view. For her, this is her home now. She can dress however she feels like dressing inside the walls of her home. However she feels comfortable.
Yes, you had a strict routine and regimen that you followed when you were putting up with your relatives, but the same goes for her. Before your coming back, your dad, step sister and step mother also had their own routine and had their own regime.
If you’re too young to go to the kitchen and make your own breakfast, that’s a different issue. Perhaps you could politely ask and request her to fix you something. But if you’re a teenager, I’m pretty sure you can fix your own meals. She isn’t your maid. She’s a house maker and from what you’ve revealed she’s doing her duties at her own pace.
As for your dad helping around the house, there’s nothing wrong with that. Why would you have a problem with that? That was a little odd. Any person would want bare minimum help around the house. Again, she isn’t your maid; she is a part of the house and the family.
About your sister’s visit, if things were running late, i feel like the sister and you all in fact could have helped too. I guess your step mum is used to cooking for only 3 people. And suddenly she has to cook for 6 people, then you have to understand that it takes time.
Please stop seeing her as a maid. She’s not. It’s very weird how you guys are trying to control her by telling her what to wear and what not to wear inside her own home, and super weird that you guys wait for your food to be fixed by her and stay hungry until she serves. Either help her if you’re free and at home, or fix your own food.
My take from this whole situation is that until you stop seeing her as an outsider, things will never fall into place for you guys. And from what I’ve read, she neither seems sinister, nor greedy and certainly not corrupt.
You guys have to cultivate a better mind set and set good precident for your step sister at least; think of her mental health throughout this all.
Of course this all is just my opinion, you can choose to not agree with it and do your own thing.
Goodluck!
