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UHi. Pseudo psychologist and pseudo therapist here.
Her stubbornness to work despite a shit environment and contract might suggest a deep rooted need to provide. Also the lack of awareness that there are better jobs and environments to insert yourself into.
Here’s how I think you can help her. Note, it is help and will require effort. But I promise you this will probably be the last time you need to put effort into helping her, and once she’s back onto a healthier lifestyle you won’t need to help. She’ll be fine on holding her own.
1) create a situation where she can lower her guard. Befriend her, get drinks, and genuinely find out her past from her. You need to find out the reason she works so stupidly hard. Not eating before work and wanting to die are symptoms of pressure and need for money, but obviously it’s setting herself up for failure. She doesn’t want to, but she is compelled to. Find out why.
2) now, whatever the reason may be, we don’t judge. She’s doing the best she can in coming up with a way to fulfill her needs, though through our lens we may see a string of decisions that are not well thought out. She’s suicidal because she thinks she’s gone too far down a path and she can’t find a way out. You must remind her of the starting point of the path she’s on – which is the point in her past she made the decision to work. This is why you must find out why she works so hard. Because the. You’ll know the point in time she started going down this path.
3) people sometimes just don’t know that there’s a better way of doing the things they’ve always been doing. And sometimes they are not open to suggestions because that means they have to learn new things all over again. Even if they don’t really have to, they may just perceive it that way. Which is why the moment you find out the past, you must plant a suggestion. A simple sounding suggestion. This suggestion must be a solution, which you have to come up with on the spot. Note, what the solution is is not important. You can make a quick suggestion and build on it at a later time. But it is important that you sound confident of your suggestion. So confident that she should feel stupid for not knowing of it before. A job change, a type of job, a hobby, healthy habits etc. Anything! She needs assurance that what she’s been stressed about is not actually that big of a deal. Even if it is.
4) be a friend. Chances are, if she had good friends, she wouldn’t have been reduced to this state. She needs a friend who looks out for her and best interests. Be that friend. Help her transition from a shitty lifestyle to a healthy one. The process might change you too, but hey! Everyday changes you.
To summarise, be a friend, find out why she’s working so hard, find out why she’s spiralling into depression and suicidal tendencies. Suggest a solution that’s easy to achieve. A career change is always easy ( you can find courses that certify you for certain jobs ) and an increase in salary can make things a whole lot easier to bear. Then just support her as a friend on this new journey. Congrats! You just saved a life, and enriched both, hers and yours, in the process.
UHe put his hands on your sister. For reasons she doesn’t deserve to be beat up. If you can’t go manic on your brother in law (either literally or legally) you will keep on suffering. It pains my heart to see people choosing to suffer when they have options that just need them to be a little brave.You guys have to decide and act, you especially, don’t ask your sister whether ” should we do this?”, “Should we do that?” If you think she needs help, help her. If I was in your shoes I would have tied up your jiju, slapped him twice to shut him up and give him an earful. I would have done a lot more, legally, but that’s not the point. Point is, this is not so complicated that you need to ask for advice. Your response should be rage, and then legal solutions. Because no one questions his actions with rage, your jiju is unhinged.
UI think a simple legal notice should do the work. If you know someone, it’s not much trouble for the lawyer as well. For a sum of 7500 the landlord might not want to escalate things. But if he doesn’t budge, there’s no point in escalation as well, as you don’t have the time. At the very least maybe he’ll open up to negotiate an amount to refund.
