[User_69273b91]

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User_69273b91
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March 19, 2025 at 8:28 am

Every side has two coins. I have seen only yours so here I amS

Firstly – I’m really sorry you’re going through this—it sounds like an incredibly frustrating and emotionally exhausting situation. From what you’ve shared, it seems like your husband has been controlling, emotionally distant, and inconsistent in his actions, which understandably has left you feeling disrespected and confused.

1. Legal Considerations (Divorce & Rights)

Since you and your parents are considering divorce, here are a few things to keep in mind:

If you were married under Indian law (Hindu Marriage Act, Special Marriage Act, etc.):

• You can file for divorce in India or in the USA (since you are a US citizen and lived there).
• The best legal ground for divorce in your case could be:
• Cruelty (mental/emotional neglect) – His behavior of keeping you away, refusing intimacy, and then sending you back could be seen as mental cruelty.
• Desertion – If he has abandoned the marital relationship (which he essentially has).
• Non-consummation – If he is truly impotent and unwilling to be physically involved, this can be a valid ground for divorce in some jurisdictions.

If you were married under US law (or want to file in the USA):

• Divorce in the USA is often simpler than in India, as you don’t need to prove fault (you can file under “irreconcilable differences”).
• Since you have been living in the USA, it may be easier to get a divorce there.
• If you have any joint financial accounts, shared property, or assets, it’s important to sort those out legally.

Actionable Step: Consult a divorce lawyer in your state and get clarity on whether to file in the USA or India. If he refuses to cooperate, you can still proceed with a unilateral divorce.

2. Emotional & Psychological Aspect

From your description, his behavior is inconsistent and manipulative:
• He kept you away for a year.
• Then, he begged you to return but was cold and distant when you did.
• Within a week, he asked you to leave and insisted on long-distance marriage.
• Now, he’s acting like nothing happened and still wants the marriage, but only on his terms.

This lack of stability and the way he’s treated you is not normal in a healthy relationship. Whether or not he has a personality disorder, his actions show emotional detachment and lack of commitment.

If he was truly serious about the marriage, he would have:
✅ Allowed you to return earlier.
✅ Shown warmth and effort when you came back.
✅ Respected you as an equal partner.

Instead, he’s treating you as an afterthought. It’s completely understandable that you and your family feel insulted.

Actionable Step: Focus on your mental well-being—therapy or counseling could help you process this emotionally and move forward with confidence.

3. Should You Stay in a Long-Distance Marriage?

You already gave this marriage multiple chances, and his actions show he doesn’t want a real, committed relationship.
• He doesn’t respect the partnership.
• He controls when you can and can’t return.
• He avoids intimacy and emotionally withdraws.

If he was unwilling to be present in the marriage when you lived together, there’s no reason to believe a long-distance setup will improve things.

Actionable Step: Block communication with him if he continues to manipulate you. If he genuinely wants to make things work, he should show commitment—not just casual phone calls.

4. What’s the Best Next Step?

1️⃣ Get legal advice → Choose whether to file for divorce in the USA or India.
2️⃣ Prioritize your emotional health → Don’t engage in unnecessary conversations with him.
3️⃣ Cut emotional dependency → He has repeatedly disrespected your presence in his life. You deserve better than a one-sided relationship.
4️⃣ Think about your future → Do you really want to be stuck in a long-distance marriage with someone who treats you as an option?

Based on everything you’ve shared, divorce seems like the right step—not just from a legal standpoint, but for your peace of mind and self-respect.

You are strong for recognizing the situation and standing up for yourself. Sending you support, and I hope you find clarity soon! 💛

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