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Ui feel so fxkin sorry for you bro.
as a 30+ y/o male who have gone through worse than what you mentioned I would suggest…
1. tell your mother to go away with you to live in some other house/apartment.
2. just focus on your studies
3. have good friendships & support channels in your future college
4. You will do awesome without his materialistic shadow. You dont need to feel guilty about anything. Your father chose a way and he is walking on it despite knowing all the realities of life.You cant do much to help him.
I have realized debt is an addiction as well just like other bits – my father took more than 30L debt from banks, personal lenders, politicians, goons etc. in the period of 2007-2016 in the name od my college + school fee – he was a senior manager in bank & was let go due to his own mistake – but then he never went back to job (I was 17 then) & just was so fxkin stubborn to not take any job – still he doesnt work (he does property broker thingy -which is shyte) – eventually i paid it all while supporting them & I still support my mom dad as they don’t have any income and fxkall, again he did a property brokerage deal in which he fxked it all up once again & accrued a loan of 20L – and this time I an not helping him at all. I just pay for their rent and food & have stopped discussing about the goons/notices/court dates that he receives.
Its so sick man, I wish I would have never paid that 50L tbh. I know some might say i am a horrible son but fxk it man, it just feels so hurtful, & i dont want another bro to suffer from this.
With a very heavy heart, I had to decide a boundary, so all I want to say to you is, their is a separation of duties thats mentioned even in the philosophical direction of the Upanishads:
Respect parents? Yes.
Care for family? Yes.
Blindly inherit all suffering, mistakes, ego, or irresponsibility? Not really.
Ultimate responsibility is toward dharma and truth, not emotional blackmail disguised as tradition.You are a teenager, I wish someone has told me what I wrote today.
But eventually the call is yours. Discuss with your mom that someone with a realistic similar story has shared all of it, can you help me pave my path?
Or if you are in complete blind love with your dad as I was, then let go of the suffering & the things that your dad is facing & just do whatever best you can & never give up.
Because either ways, you gonna shine!
Take care bro
