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USorry that you and your parents have go through this. Please be with your parents and take care of yourself and your parents. This is not their age to suffer. Mental health is a serious issue, hope you balance it out.
As i read through your story, i for a second thought someone that i knew was writing more or less about my married life. I have been on similar receiving front where even my MIL does not allow her daughter to spend a week with my parents (even my wife has same mindset as MIL) and all i get is constant blame, arguments, some high frequency words (harassments, torture etc). Also living apart.
Try to document evidence for your story. A lawyer told me the trend is to overwhelm guy with cases so as to extort large amount before consenting for mutual settlement.
Also all your concerns are valid. Also valid are few points raised by folks here (affair?).
I would suggest to call in a meeting with elders (check and involve 2-3 folks from both parties apart from your parents) and try to come to an agreement on how to navigate this relationship (aka some sense into her mom and thereby her). If it does not work out, try time-boxed marriage counseling else you will need to make yourself and your parents strong (easy to type than done – similar boat as you).
