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UHad a long chat with the lawyer regarding whats gonna happen in the next date. I will update in my main post soon after I write it out properly.UYea did that. I even showed them all the messages and audio recordings. They were extremely appalled. But it didnt create the effect I thought it would. The relatives just completely distanced themselves from the problem and her. I tried to contact them to push my ex for settlement and they told me they no longer have any connection with her for over a year. They have stopped talking or meeting her.UAnother source of brain drain? haha. I was so excited to hear about UCC (Universal Civil Code), but its the same shit written differently. It’s universal in terms of religion – but not in terms of gender.UYes. True. I would definitely say other than the bouts of sadness caused by years of trauma. this has made me emotionally more resilient. I do feel much better about myself. The only thing, I now want to get rid of this past.UThe reasonable family members from her side have completely distanced themselves from this problem. They tried initially, but didnt want the hassle I guess. We tried talking to them a year back and we were surprised that they no longer talk to my ex or even see her.UYou asked me the question that I still hate asking myself. Everytime I think about what made me marry her, it makes me feel like the dumbest idiotic stupid fool ever.
1. Make sure she has a good relationship with her parents.
2. She will hide the evil part of her till she gets married, you need to understand that part about her based on how her parents like to talk and behave especially during the courtship period (the crazy comes out 1-2 month before the wedding).
3. Her friend circle will tell you a lot. Are they constantly “competing” about status and things like that? It sounds simple enough, but actually the “competition” is very subtle.
ill write more when i think of more.
UContact only via phone and messages. always record calls and export chats (in case she deletes things). NEVER meet face to face alone or with family. If you need to sit down and talk, then ensure BOTH lawyers (yours & theirs) are present.U1. Lawyer has given me full permission to let her contact me (over the phone only). No meeting her face to face alone. If we need to meet for settlement, lawyer or court appointed mediator has to be there.2. Understood. yes I do that. moments of weakness is difficult to handle.
3. Yes. The courts in this regard have favoured me – no alimony assigned yet even though the maintenance case has been going on for 2 years and no interim alimony either. THANK YOU for the hope. I wouldn’t mind settling at 15. that would be wonderful. again thanks!!
4. yea its been 5 years. so right after covid ended, i gymmed hard, entered competitions, worked on my passion, made new friends, traveled and had my fun. Now Im wondering about my next phase in life but need to get rid of my past.
Yea the high court thing has been pestering me. the fact that now 2-3 people (incl. you) told me that she wont go to high court, it gives me hope. she already lost the case against my family in Jan last year and she didnt go to high court.
Do you mean Divorce case on the grounds of cruelty? Not yet. Im applying for divorce now. Everything is in my favor and court orders in my favor help prove mental cruelty!
UYea thats what worries me. My lawyer did say if we things work out with settlement, since we have been separated for 5 years – it’ll take 1-2 month once the mutual divorce is agreed. I dont want to keep my hopes up.The difficult part of this phase of life – keep smiling and stay confident in front of the family – cant let my aging parents see me beaten, it’ll make them age queicker. I just sulk and take care of my anxiety and panic when I am alone.
USo I am fully aware of whats going on in all my cases and have the proceedings sent to me by my lawyer. Also I do check the eservices website on case status when i need to.And you are right, even my lawyer said my case is progressing faster than he has experienced. it does make me happy, but still part of my brain is constantly overthinking.
Transcripts are quite straight forward – pretty much “prosecution didnt show up in court or requested for another date”. this has never changed. Except when interim orders come out in my favor. and they are not showing up for cross-questioning & evidence.
The kicker, I live in another state and I have been to the court far more times than her.
UYes. And when it comes to negotiations and talking to her or her lawyer – we show that this doesnt bother us and we will continue fighting the case. Our last negotiation attempt was over a year back and since then we havent called or tried to settle.She messaged me 1.5 months back to threaten me. My lawyer had given our offer to them to settle the matter. She didnt like the offer, and messaged me –
She: “I would rather go through the court”. (funny thing, she never shows up in court. so i know this is a threat about dragging this out)
Me: “Tumhara lalach kabhi khatam nhi hoga. Yes, the court will ensure justice.”
So I put my strongest face and fight hard. That doesnt mean it isnt bothering me tremendously.
UI get what you mean. I am not scared of the cases. I am scared of how much of my life will go into this with 0 outcome. Yes I will win, but not like she will face any consequences.Uour lawyer is good. which also means, i know how this unfolds. but i felt completely fucked in the head and was just hoping that there might be something out there that we didn’t think of.Uits been 3 years. i was hoping i can do some kinda counter case once i start getting favorable orders, but apparently i cant do anything! even if its being proven false, I cant get a divorce. I dont care about justice anymore, I just want my life back.
