You are lucky to get off lightly. On a bad day, Judges often make an example of some cases. This Judge gave u opportunity. Get a lawyer. Attend court once every month. Unless u appear in court drunk and drive your car inside courtroom, it is highly unlikely now that Judge will send u to Jail else he would have already done that. Dont try to push him by asking to remove the Monthly court visit or reduce it.
There is nothing about it that anyone can give a Legal advice. What u are facing is a moral issue and morality is often subjective. Even if u are right, she must be having her justification for doing it to fill some void. No matter how wrong it sounds to u, but she must be happy so let her be. There is nothing u will gain by spying on her. Focus on ur life and career