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IIndianguy8616
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May 3, 2025 at 11:49 amThere are external POSH organizations outside of corporates. You could complain there directly. They will then investigate themselves and then the companies’ POSH cells will have to answer them. Normally, companies don’t want such bad press.I’d suggest your wife immediately resign. This will not stop. Only escalate. He is systematically and slowly eroding her boundaries. The way this works is he will keep pushing new ones each time, making the old boundaries look less serious in comparison. And they know what they are doing. They will pick and choose the correct time/place to do such things.
From my experience: how the escalation happened to me:
1. Yelled at me for not sending an self-introductory email when I joined. “How will we know you have joined?”. Then in the same conversation asked me about my marital status. I was and still am single. Then offered to look for a guy for me to marry.
2. General over-friendly behaviour: oversharing, talking too much about nonsensical things
3. Out of politeness, I once asked him how he was doing healthwise as he had just recovered from some long illness. Picked a leaf out of my hair after I quite literally did the matrix bend over backwards to get away from his hand.
4. During the office team-building trip (I hate these team-building things now): I was minding my own business and looking out the window while everyone was dancing in the bus. I turned to look ahead and there he was with his phone camera pointing straight at me. I must’ve looked angry because he then scarpered away.
5. During the same office trip, we sat down for breakfast. I was sitting next an older female Kannada colleague. He was also Kannada. He turned away when this dude approached. He asked permission to take a selfie with me to *the colleague sitting next to me and she fucking said ok. And all this in Kannada. I don’t understand Kannada. * I tried to get the other female colleague in frame by pulling her closer because I didn’t want a picture with just him. Because that seemed too intimate and implied a close personal relationship with him. *The dude framed the photograph such that he cut the third colleague out of the selfie and clicked only the two of us.*
At that point, I lost it and realised he was not going to stop. Just keep pushing incrementally, progressively encroaching more and more into my personal space. I told HR that I want my photo and video deleted from his phone in front of me. I had fully expected him to dilly-dally and deny and the HR to be unhelpful and was prepared to deal with it beforehand.
He began showing photographs one by one. Saying see what a beautiful sunrise and some shit like that. Told him to open the gallery view. Took his phone in my hand. Scrolled down to the video. It was long. Predictably he began to say I was taking a video of everyone dancing and enjoying on the bus. And HR also began to lose patience and say there’s nothing in the video. I said, “We will watch quietly till the end firmly.” And there it was, the camera lingering on me unnecessarily long. Deleted it and then found the selfie and deleted that too. He tried to claim I had consented to the selfie. At which point, I began shouting. Then deleted again from the trash folder as well.
My mistake here: I got rid of the evidence by deleting the photo and video. The HR did not write a report. It later came back to bite me. Anyway my only thought at that time had been to get my photos off his phone. They had already been there for one entire day. And I needed to send him a clear message to stay clear of me. And he did stay clear of me. It came back to bite me over another harassment complaint I made. That office just had too many disgusting people. It was a condom manufacturer for context. They find it hard to recruit and retain good people because of Indian traditional views and end up with assholes like this dude.
I write this in detail to show you that it is indeed intentional and progressive. And they will use plausible deniability any way they can.
Again my personal opinion: resign immediately. A job is not worth this much danger.
IIndianguy8616
PARTICIPANT
March 14, 2025 at 1:00 pm>my husband who visits my house once in a weekI’m betting people are gossiping about this and have problems with this. They might be thinking you aren’t actually married since he visits so infrequently and doesn’t live with you. And so are calling the police on you out of “moral superiority”.
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